


One Summer

by blacklightivy



Series: Two Kinds of People [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Female Harry Potter, Gender or Sex Swap, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:02:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 47,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29664237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacklightivy/pseuds/blacklightivy
Summary: “Who thehellcould they have met who changed the entire course of their futures in the space of a single afternoon?  Who thehellcould have been born that important and world changing?”Klaus and Five run away from home at twelve and make friends with a certain pair of fraternal twin Potter sisters the same summer, and suddenly the future ain't what it used to be.Floating Timeline. AU Harry Potter. Canon divergent Umbrella Academy.Updated frequently, so stats may not always be accurate.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves/Harry Potter, Klaus Hargreeves/Original Female Character(s), Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)/Harry Potter, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Two Kinds of People [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179881
Kudos: 10





	1. Getting Started

Chapter One: Getting Started

The dormitory entrance hall was mahogany wood paneled and gold gilded. Twelve-year-old Five was led across the entrance hall — past the elevators, past the student help desk — and up to the headmistress, Sophie Whiteclear, a plump blonde woman in expensive sweaters. Standing beside her was a girl Five's age.

"Five," said Sophie Whiteclear when the school official stopped him in front of the two, "as you know, this week we are introducing partners to each other. Every incoming student at Oakley School for the Arts in downtown Seattle is assigned a partner. This partner will practice the arts with and against them for the next several years, until roughly the age of eighteen and graduation. This is, of course, the only student you are barred against having an official, established, romantic relationship with at the school. After you are assigned a partner, the two of you have an opening interview and then a whole opening list of activities to do together, to get to know one another, which is why at least for this first summer, every incoming preteen student at Oakley is required to spend the entire summer on campus — with their partner. We have just reached the beginning of the summer, and this is your assigned partner.

"Five, this is Ruby. Ruby, this is Five — yes, his name is a number, and no, he doesn't want to talk about it, apparently. We ask each incoming student to fill out a series of questions to test for partner compatibility, and we have an open space at the end of the test for students to free-write — tell us what they are hoping to find in a potential partner. Five, you asked for someone who was better at and looking forward to the more extroverted, performative arts more than you were — things like acting, or dancing, or figure skating, or even music and singing. Ruby tested out as being unusually inclined to enjoy activities like that, unusually self-confident, fierce, extroverted. Ruby, you asked for someone who was calmer, more logical, more even-tempered, and more pragmatic than you. Five tested out as possessing those qualities unusually highly. Your basic compatibility questions matched each other's, and that's why you were paired together.

"Unless either of you has any questions, comments, protests, or concerns… you are now released to do your opening interview somewhere — it doesn't have to be on campus, as we're in downtown Seattle, but usually students like to interview in an environment that's already familiar to them. Any questions?"

Five took in Ruby — apparently his new partner. She was small and curvy, with large breasts and naturally dimpled everywhere. She had enough musculature on her to indicate someone who was physically fit. Her skin was creamy, but there was a very small, very old lightning bolt shaped scar slashed across the skin of her forehead, underneath her bangs. She had wild, thick curls of jet-black hair and hooded, heavy-lidded bright blue eyes, painted in a smokey eye look and perpetually dancing with mischief. Her lips were a cool, sharp red, full with the lower bottom lip slightly fuller. She had a natural cheerful, bright look about her and was wearing boyish, quirky overalls. A glittering little tan half-sweater went over the overalls, and she was wearing quirky, colorful heels, unusual on a preteen. The faint scent of a strongly spicy perfume wafted over from her general direction.

And in turn, Ruby took in Five — apparently her new partner. He was tall for their age, slim, spry, and straight like a rapier, with an unusually toned body for their age, hard, sharp planes of musculature going all across his frame — clearly he worked out a lot. His skin was tanned, his face was traditionally handsome, and he had dimples — which Ruby had always had a weakness for. His hair was dark chocolate brown and neatly arranged; his eyes were the fathomless kind of dark. His expression was closed off and reserved and he dressed incredibly basic, perhaps even a bit nerdy, in dark sneakers, dark jeans, and a deep blue button-up shirt. Still, his general appearance paired with his low-key black jacket gave him a vaguely mod James Dean kind of aura. The faintest gender neutral scent could be detected coming off of his form.

"I don't have any problems," Ruby finally admitted honestly in surprise; her accent was English, unusual in the city of Seattle and in sharp contrast to Five's more standard American accent.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said at last, and he was still hard to read.

"Very well," said Sophie Whiteclear. "Enjoy your interview and your opening activities, and I hope it all adds up to a very interesting summer for both of you." She and the Oakley school official walked away.

Ruby immediately took out her phone. "We should exchange numbers," she said. "So we can get ahold of each other."

It made good pragmatic sense, so Five — who did not have a great deal of practice exchanging numbers with anyone — nonetheless handed his own phone over. They typed in their information, saved themselves as contacts, and handed their phones back to each other, pocketing the phones.

There was a silence.

"Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to go for the interview?" Ruby asked at last, deciding a little bit of politeness couldn't hurt.

"… There's a coffee shop and bistro on campus I've been going to a lot," said Five.

"Well — lead the way!" said Ruby with a wave and an effort of a smile.

The walk across the Oakley campus was done in silence. Seattle was a very hilly city, and the Oakley campus was no exception; all sorts of weird slants led to all sorts of strange places. The sky was a pearly grey overhead; the air was cool and tinted with a slight sea breeze. Oakley was covered in old redbrick buildings and burnished little wood-paneled buildings, its winding pathways decorated with planted gardening things like grass, trees, flower-bushes, and painted park benches.

"This is an expensive school," Ruby commented at last.

"Hm," said Five noncommittally. Not much of a talker, this one, was he?

"Are your parents paying?" Ruby finally asked more pointedly, trying to avoid another grunt.

"No," said Five shortly, so he had at least graduated to monosyllables.

"Ah, you're going the other route," said Ruby wisely. "Students technically don't have to pay to attend Oakley. Oakley will take them with no money, and they will get a very special high school degree that also doubles as an art school degree. The only catch is that they have to start paying back Oakley with global art performances as they get older and graduate through the years and the ranks of this very famous art school. People whose parents pay get to keep the money from those teenage performances. People who aren't paying Oakley give that in exchange as their tuition instead.

"That's the route I'm taking, too. I don't have the money to be here, either," said Ruby, in an effort to keep Five from feeling awkward about the fact that he had just admitted to being strapped for cash.

Five gave both no expression and no response. Ruby was starting to realize slightly nervously that she had never thought to specify her partner had to be a good conversationalist — and Ruby herself was rather chatty, she thought uneasily.

Into a building and up a set of stairs, she walked into the on-campus coffee shop and bistro behind Five. It had vivid red walls and was decorated in a wide assortment of very strange art. Most of it seemed to be blown-up microscopic photographs of different types of cells and even fetuses captured in different arrays and stages of development. There was a main dining area, and then an attached smaller room almost reminiscent of a common room, filled with armchairs and sofas. The smell of coffee and baked goods filled everything, which was explained by the barista's station behind the counter and the glass case of pastries next to the cash register. Some of the baked goods were quite elaborate, high-end, and expensive — an actual Nutella cheesecake cut into slices and decorated with chopped up hazelnut brittle caught Ruby's eye.

They walked up to the counter and Five said neutrally, "One black coffee. Medium. Name is Five — yes, like the number." He sounded slightly impatient at this last part.

Each Oakley student had an art school pension, so Five paid with his and then Ruby walked up to the counter with hers. She smiled — the woman at the cash register looked a bit uncertain after Five, and this seemed to relax her. "One salted caramel macchiato. Also medium. And my name is Ruby."

"Whipped cream?"

"Sure — who would deny that extra bit of fun?" Ruby smiled and her eyes danced teasingly, and Five watched the woman at the cash register become totally at ease and smile gratefully back. Sophie Whiteclear hadn't been lying — Ruby seemed to possess an ease with people and talking that Five strongly suspected he himself would never possess.

As they were waiting for their coffees, Ruby made another brave stab at casual conversation. "It's a good thing the Oakley student art school pensions are so generous. I can't imagine downtown Seattle will be any less expensive than the school itself."

"Hm," said Five again.

Ruby wondered in the back of her mind how this was going to go when Five was actually required to elaborate and explain things during the interview.

They got their coffees and Ruby took the lead this time, walking curiously into the common room area. Not as many people were in here. Ruby and Five found a cozy corner table. On the wall across from them was — all across the coffee place and into the main dining area — a full wall of windows showing a spectacular, glittering view of downtown Seattle laid out fairly far below them.

"I like this place," Ruby decided. "Makes me feel like I'm in a very avant-garde coffee shop in the Space Needle." She reached into her bag, took out the sheets of interview questions, and laid them out across the table between them. "So — shall we get started?"

"Sure," said Five, faux casually but with some inner trepidation. As a pragmatist at heart, he knew from the beginning that he would have been absurd to give up an opportunity like Oakley, coming from the background he did.

But he had also known from the beginning that there were a good few parts of Oakley he wasn't looking forward to. Everything about this qualified.

"Okay," said Ruby. "First question. If you'd like, I can go first."

This was surprisingly kind of her, and indeed her eyes were gentle and even knowing.

"That would be great," said Five immediately, in what he tried to pass off as low-key relief.

"All right," said Ruby, flipping her hair over her shoulder, lifting herself up, and faking confidence — "fake it till you make it" was Ruby's basic philosophy in life. "I'll go first. If you'd like, you can ask me questions to get me to elaborate or clarify on points you find interesting. I'll do the same.

"Let's get started. First question.

"So this is just a general sort of opener. It asks you to explain your favorite hobbies, your style of dress, your favorite books, music, movies, food… It's fairly extensive, it covers a lot of different areas, and you can pick and choose what you'd like to just give a basic first introduction of yourself. So here I go.

"There are a lot of elements of my style of dress that you can probably already tell. I wear red lipstick — always cherry flavored — and I love a good smokey eye. My scents tend to be on the spicy side. I adore overalls — I wear a lot of them. Most of them need to be dry cleaned, but I am willing to make that sacrifice," she joked. "I also love the sort of casual hipster look. I have an obsession with the vintage and antique — that doesn't just apply to clothes, but it does include clothes, and my favorite fashion looks are from the 1940's and the 1950's. I love quirky heels, which I am wearing today — they make me feel powerful and confident. But I also love scarves, which I am not wearing today. Decorative scarves are often a part of my basic daily look.

"Probably my weirdest hobby and interest is in sex academia. I like studying sex, like it's a science, from an academic perspective — and I grew up with an aunt, uncle, and cousin who were totally disconnected from me and my sister. We were neglected, but we were also allowed to run wild and do basically whatever we wanted, because as whiny as it sounds, they just really didn't give that much of a shit." Ruby laughed nervously. "So I was always allowed to be interested in some pretty questionable things for a preteen girl — so was my sister — and sex academia is definitely one of those things.

"Because I love vintage, I also love vinyl, and this in turn means I love record shops. They are always full of quirky little items and random bits of art, and I love that about them. It's actually in a record shop that I first got into Frida Kahlo's artwork, and she ended up being one of my favorite artists.

"I am a writer. I always write on a typewriter, and I do everything from scripts and plays to short stories to journalism pieces… Those are probably my three favorite things to write at this point in my life."

"I'm a writer," said Five suddenly, and Ruby perked up. "I work more in the area of tabletop gaming — fantasy and sci-fi. I create a lot of characters, backgrounds, and storylines for my tabletop gaming."

"Is that one of the things you like reading, too?" Ruby asked.

"Yeah," Five admitted with a slight shrug. "What do you read? You're a writer; you have to read something. It's part of the job description."

"It is," Ruby admitted ruefully. "I read a lot of different things. I have a love for the classics, and a weakness for Jane Austen. I read a lot of women's empowerment books, a lot of political books. Self-help is my guilty pleasure favorite genre. But then I also read mysteries, and I also love horror."

"I read mysteries," said Five immediately. "The best plot twist you've ever read."

"It's a cliche, but Agatha Christie's _Murder on the Orient Express,"_ Ruby admitted. "When you find out at the end —,"

"That they all did it," said Five. "Yeah. That had great characters, too. I'm also into horror. You like horror?"

"All kinds, even the stuff I shouldn't be watching," said Ruby cheerfully. "I find slasher hilarious."

"So do I, I've… never had that in common with someone before," Five admitted dryly, and Ruby laughed. "Next you'll be telling me you like video games."

"I'm not much of a gamer, but not for lack of interest," Ruby admitted. "I get unhealthily invested in games. I just end up screaming at the board, the screen, or the controller — especially when I start losing. Even my aunt and uncle banned me from doing it. That's when you know it's bad — when they noticed."

"Thanks for the warning," said Five dryly.

"You're welcome!" said Ruby brightly. "The final thing I read a lot of is sad, tragic love stories. It's refreshingly feminine of me. I like that in movies, too. One thing our aunt did do was make sure me and my sister knew our way around the kitchen. She doesn't get full points, because she didn't demand her son learn the same thing, but it is a useful thing to know. She was a very good baker, especially of elaborate desserts, but very quintessentially British ones — and she taught me and my sister how to make these custard tarts. One of my favorite things to do on a Saturday afternoon, to this day, is bake a batch of cappuccino-flavored custard tarts and have a good cry over a sad, tragic love story." She sounded proud of herself.

"I like coffee. You like coffee?" Five confirmed.

"I… like espresso," she corrected sheepishly. "It makes me feel classy and it's the best-tasting energy drink there is."

Five smirked, slightly amused despite himself. "Fair enough."

"I watch a lot of sports," Ruby continued, "and I get really invested in that, too. I shout at the screen a lot, cheer at all the best plays. My favorite is baseball. But… I don't know, I don't really read anything about sports."

"Do you do any?" said Five.

"Erm — well, funnily enough, I was in a karate and kickboxing team at my last school," Ruby admitted. Five's eyes immediately lit up. "My uncle originally wasn't going to let me do it — until I showed him what I could already do on the mat. I think he always wished his son would take more interest, to be honest. Women's empowerment wasn't my uncle's favorite thing."

"I've been trained in karate and kickboxing," said Five immediately. "Are you any good?"

"We should spar sometime and I can show you," said Ruby slyly.

Five smirked. "That would be a hilariously bad idea. For _you,"_ he clarified.

"Arrogant," said Ruby.

"Realistic in my abilities," Five corrected.

"Well then we have to spar," said Ruby proudly. "I love fighting confident people. Either I get to knock them down a peg… or I learn something. It's a win-win.

"When I work out, I work out to a lot of loud punk music. I've always loved the idea of going to concerts, and I definitely will start going now that I'm here at Oakley."

"I've always wanted to go to concerts," Five said out of the blue, surprising Ruby.

"Do you like punk?" she asked.

"No. I listen to a lot of… very old, classic blues and rock music. Some bluegrass. Some steel string. Some folk music," said Five.

"Interesting," said Ruby. "I can separate people who listen to that into three basic types: Hipsters. Cowboys. And classy, old-fashioned people. Which one are you?"

"Probably the third one," Five admitted with a slight smirk.

"Good answer," said Ruby with a grin. "Okay, well that's something we can definitely do together. I'll listen to your music if you'll listen to mine.

"I love spicy food. I especially love spicy food when I'm watching horror. I like the full sensory overload experience. It makes me feel alive.

"My favorite flowers are lilies and orchids. My favorite color of rose is yellow.

"What do I watch…? Well, my favorite series is _Pushing Up Daisies._ It's like a… cutesy macabre sort of show. It's about a pie-maker with a secret ability. He can touch anything dead and bring it back to life. He touches it again, and it dies permanently. He ends up in a situation where he starts taking on unsolved murders, and he wakes up this dead girl. Then he falls in love with her. But now he can't touch her again, because she'd die permanently. It… sounds like a morbid premise, but it's actually a really cute, feel-good show and I always watch it as a pick-me-up when I need to feel better. Or when I'm trying to avoid cleaning my room. Expert procrastinator, right here.

"I think that's me sorted. What about you?" she added curiously.

"Well, I don't have any special style of dress that I know of," Five admitted. "Clothes for me are utilitarian — they have to look basically classy and cover your body. A little Scrooge-like, maybe, but it's always worked for me. Any scents I wear tend to be gender neutral, quiet. So… I am careful with the way I look, neat, but there's not much to it.

"You already know some of the things I'm interested in. Aside from what I've already told you… I read a lot of nonfiction."

"In what areas?" said Ruby immediately.

"Coffee roasting — I'm obsessed. Inventing, woodworking, metalworking, boat-building — a lot of physical, handy activities that are heavy in math and science, which is what I'm best at. And… classic film."

"Your favorite classic film piece," said Ruby.

 _"The Twilight Zone,"_ said Five. "I've seen every episode at least three times. But I watch a lot of classic film. Most recently I've been getting into black and white and noir.

"Aside from what I've already told you I listen to, one of my favorite classic bands is also Depeche Mode. They're one of the only artists I can think of who can not only do social commentary, for example, but who can then go on to do something like a love song and have me actually… not hate it.

"And I'm into a lot of dark academia aesthetics and subjects," said Five. "If I had to pick one cliche online aesthetic, that would be mine.

"I can't think of any kind of food or drink I'm inspiringly, deeply attached to besides black coffee. I can tell you that my favorite snack as a kid growing up was peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches — sickly sweet and completely awesome."

It was surprisingly easy to talk to Ruby. Five could admit privately to himself that he hadn't expected that.

"Okay," said Ruby excitedly, looking down at the sheets of paper. "Next question…"

-

The dormitory entrance hall was mahogany wood paneled and gold gilded. Twelve-year-old Klaus was led across the entrance hall — past the elevators, past the student help desk — and up to the headmistress, Sophie Whiteclear, a plump blonde woman in expensive sweaters. Standing beside her was a girl Klaus's age.

"Klaus," said Sophie Whiteclear when the school official stopped him in front of the two, "as you know, this week we are introducing partners to each other. Every incoming student at Oakley School for the Arts in downtown Seattle is assigned a partner. This partner will practice the arts with and against them for the next several years, until roughly the age of eighteen and graduation. This is, of course, the only student you are barred against having an official, established, romantic relationship with at the school. After you are assigned a partner, the two of you have an opening interview and then a whole opening list of activities to do together, to get to know one another, which is why at least for this first summer, every incoming preteen student at Oakley is required to spend the entire summer on campus — with their partner. We have just reached the beginning of the summer, and this is your assigned partner.

"Klaus, this is Iris. Iris, this is Klaus. We ask each incoming student to fill out a series of questions to test for partner compatibility, and we have an open space at the end of the test for students to free-write — tell us what they are hoping to find in a potential partner. Klaus, you specifically asked for someone quieter than you are, and four of your other important qualities were kindness, patience, calm, and compassion. Iris tested out as being unusually capable of providing those things for you. Iris, you asked for someone who possessed traits like bravery, boldness, fearlessness, extroversion — maybe even recklessness. Your other important qualifier was someone capable of artistic innovation and avant-garde forward-thinking — this is something you have, but you also thought it was very important to find in your partner. Klaus tested out as possessing all those qualities in abundance. Your basic compatibility questions matched each other's, and that's why you were paired together.

"Unless either of you has any questions, comments, protests, or concerns… you are now released to do your opening interview somewhere — it doesn't have to be on campus, as we're in downtown Seattle, but usually students like to interview in an environment that's already familiar to them. Any questions?"

Klaus took in Iris — apparently his new partner. She was small, slim, delicate, and willowy, with a round little bottom and very fine, delicate bone structure. Her skin was a striking olive tone, but there was a very small, very old lightning bolt shaped scar slashed across the skin of her forehead, underneath her bangs. She had long, straight, sleek pale blonde hair — waist length with a slight wave to it — and almond-shaped bright green eyes. Her cheeks were decorated in a warm pink blush and her lips were a glossy pink. Wide, colorful earrings dangled from her ears. She had a natural tender, shy, closed-off expression about her and was wearing a beautiful off-white sweater and a long, colorful bohemian skirt. The faint scent of a soft, quiet, sweet, warm, floral and sugary gourmand perfume wafted over from her general direction.

And in turn, Iris took in Klaus — apparently her new partner. He was tall for their age, slim and lithely muscular with a taut, pale, toned stomach and rangy hips like a dancer. He had long, pale, awkwardly elegant limbs. His skin was pale, and his face was very pretty — Iris had always had a thing for the pretty ones. His hair was wild and brown, his features were broad and striking, and his eyes were a vivid, tender blue-green. He had an open, curious expression and he dressed like a hippie thrift store Goth David Bowie, complete with the dark, glittery eye makeup to match, currently wearing Converse sneakers, colorful striped trousers that exposed the ankle line, a girl's black tank top, and a dark poor Victorian era workman's jacket with patches at the elbows. Should he have been able to pull it off? No. Did he? Yes. The faintest colorful, absinthe and brandy based scent could be detected coming off of his form, a scent that couldn't decide whether it was decidedly a man's or decidedly a woman's.

"I don't have any problems," Iris finally admitted honestly in surprise; her accent was English, unusual in the city of Seattle and in sharp contrast to Klaus's more standard American accent.

"All signs are go, let's do this!" said Klaus excitedly.

"Very well," said Sophie Whiteclear. "Enjoy your interview and your opening activities, and I hope it all adds up to a very interesting summer for both of you." She and the Oakley school official walked away.

Klaus took out his phone. "Your number?" he said hopefully.

"Sure, that makes sense," Iris admitted, and they switched phones.

As the typed in their information and saved themselves as contacts, Klaus half-laughed softly. "I've just been asking that from everyone I meet," he admitted. "I have like a hundred new numbers. Don't think I'm lame or anything, but I'd never exactly done anything normal before this."

"I… wish I had that kind of social courage," Iris admitted cheerfully, and Klaus felt surprisingly good about himself as they handed their phones back to each other.

They pocketed their phones and Iris — polite by nature — said, "Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to go for the interview?"

"Oh, anywhere is good for me," Klaus admitted in surprise.

"Very well, then," said Iris neatly, still in her soft, measured tones. "There's a bagel shop on campus that I've been going to a lot. We could interview there."

"Bagels will work." Klaus shrugged and smiled, and he followed Iris out of the dormitory entrance hall.

They began the walk across the Oakley campus. Seattle was a very hilly city, and the Oakley campus was no exception; all sorts of weird slants led to all sorts of strange places. The sky was a pearly grey overhead; the air was cool and tinted with a slight sea breeze. Oakley was covered in old redbrick buildings and burnished little wood-paneled buildings, its winding pathways decorated with planted gardening things like grass, trees, flower-bushes, and painted park benches.

"So can you afford to be here?" Klaus immediately asked eagerly.

"Are you always this blunt?" said Iris in amusement.

"That sounds like an avoidance tactic."

Iris laughed despite herself. "Okay, erm… well, I do know what you mean. Oakley is an expensive school, and not everyone's parents are paying to send them. Students technically don't have to pay to attend Oakley. Oakley will take them with no money, and they will get a very special high school degree that also doubles as an art school degree. The only catch is that they have to start paying back Oakley with global art performances as they get older and graduate through the years and the ranks of this very famous art school. People whose parents pay get to keep the money from those teenage performances. People who aren't paying Oakley give that in exchange as their tuition instead.

"And that's the route I'm taking," she admitted freely. "I can guarantee you no one is paying to send me anywhere."

"Yeah, same. I couldn't even afford entrance into the parking lot," Klaus admitted cheerfully, and Iris laughed softly. It was surprisingly easy to be open around Klaus. That wasn't typical for Iris, and it was nice.

Into a building and up a set of stairs, Klaus walked into the on-campus bagel shop behind Iris. It was a low-key but classy place, wood-paneled with lots of little tables set with bistro chairs. Soft music played overhead and there were a lot of big, sunny, open windows letting in fresh air. The doors stood open and led out onto a kind of patio where more students were sitting outside underneath umbrella tables. A lot of students seemed to like studying here, and Klaus could see why.

They walked up to the counter and Iris gave a soft, shy, warm smile. "A cinnamon dolce latte for me," she said softly. "Medium. My name is Iris." A lot of quiet people made others ill at ease — Klaus's brother Five could easily qualify — but Iris didn't seem to be one of them.

Each Oakley student had an art school pension, so Iris paid with hers and then Klaus walked up to the counter with his. He beamed at the woman behind the counter and — since Iris had only ordered a drink — he said, "A black English breakfast tea, medium, my name is Klaus, good lady."

As they were waiting for their drinks, Klaus commented, "I nearly went nuts when I found out how generous the Oakley art school pensions were. I had kind of resigned myself to never being able to afford anything nice in downtown Seattle for my entire tenure here. Then I found out how much money I was getting and I had to hold myself back from going on a huge shopping spree. Took reserves of willpower I didn't even know I had."

Iris laughed quietly, warm, but she didn't say anything. She stared and blushed and smiled down at her feet. So she was shy. Well, Klaus would work with that. The fact that she was nice and she found him funny at all was already pretty cool.

They got their drinks and took seats at a table by one of the big, sunny windows leading open onto the outdoors. Iris reached into her bag, took out the sheets of interview questions, and laid them out across the table between them. "So — shall we get started?"

"Sure," said Klaus casually, shrugging. "I'm an open book." He made a wide hand gesture and beamed, and Iris laughed softly, half-reaching up her hand as if to try and hide it. Klaus decided his partner was cute. This was not a minus for him.

"Okay," said Iris. "First question. Can I go first? Opening up to people makes me nervous, and I'd like to just push myself into it and get it out of the way right at the onset."

"Sure," said Klaus, slapping the table. "Face your fears."

"All right," said Iris. "If you'd like, you can ask me questions to get me to elaborate or clarify on points you find interesting. I'll do the same.

"Let's get started. First question.

"So this is just a general sort of opener. It asks you to explain your favorite hobbies, your style of dress, your favorite books, music, movies, food… It's fairly extensive, it covers a lot of different areas, and you can pick and choose what you'd like to just give a basic first introduction of yourself. So here I go.

"There are a lot of elements of my style that you can probably already tell. I wear a lot of warm, soft, glossy pink makeup. I love wide, colorful, dangling, eccentric earrings; I wear them all the time. My scents tend to be on the softer, more sugary and floral, gourmand kind of side. I wear a lot of bohemian styles of dress; I believe that's the one part of fashion we actually seem to have in common," said Iris. "I have a love for big, soft sweaters in quiet shades. But then I also have a more secret love, that I do not always get to wear in my daily life; one of my fascinations has always been with fairies, fairy mythology, and fairy art, and I love fantasy kinds of dresses — the colorful, wispy, ballgown style that a fairy would use. It's a bit of a difficult thing to incorporate into your daily life, but whenever I imagine dressing up for something like a fancy gala event, that's always the first thing that comes to mind.

"Aside from fairies, I also have an interest in witchcraft and the occult itself. I grew up with an aunt, uncle, and cousin who were totally disconnected from me and my sister. We were neglected, but we were also allowed to run wild and do basically whatever we wanted, because as whiny as it sounds, they just really didn't give that much of a shit." Iris laughed nervously. "So I was always allowed to be interested in some pretty questionable things for a preteen girl — so was my sister — and magic was definitely one of those things.

"I'm also fascinated by avant-garde art. Three of my all-time favorite artists are Yoko Ono, Tilda Swinton, and Björk. I went through a paint balloon phase. Once I went to school, knelt in the school hallway, and didn't move for three hours. When teachers, staff members, and students all ran to get me, I said with great dignity that I was going to dare them all to try and kill me in the name of art." She half-laughed, and Klaus laughed along with her. "They had to carry me to the headmistress because I wouldn't move."

"Oh, that is priceless," Klaus said with a smile and a laugh. "If only I could have been there. This is going work out great; you are just as weird as I am."

Iris laughed freely. "No, for real, though, Björk isn't even my most controversial musical interest. I have this famous avant-garde piece called Berlin Mix on my mp3 player. It was done a number of years ago, when a German composer took about a hundred different musicians and put them all together. Each played a different instrument and specialized in a different genre and knew different kinds of songs. And instead of teaching them all to play one piece, he brought an audience together, had them each try to play their own individual song all at once, and pretended to compose for the benefit of the watching audience. He recorded the whole thing and put it on disc, and I have it on my mp3 player."

"So you're really into this," said Klaus, impressed despite himself.

"I'm obsessed," Iris laughed self-deprecatingly. "I also love nature. Sometimes I go to dog parks just to pet the dogs; I don't even own a dog. I use nature a lot in what I create, too — I do a lot of flower and leaf pressing, for example, a lot of stone collecting. In general, I craft a lot. I do baking, I make herbal remedies, I make my own jewelry, I make my own ornaments. I quilt. I basically taught myself everything I know. One of my pipe dreams as a kid was actually of opening up a little Apothecary-style shop, someplace like San Francisco. I wanted to be that lady with the feather earrings who gave you exactly what you needed one day in San Francisco, and then you could just _never find her shop again."_

They both laughed.

"Yeah, I had a pipe dream like that as a kid," said Klaus, and Iris actually listened; she seemed kind and interested. Spurred on to further heights, Klaus said enthusiastically, "Growing up, I was always looking to drown a lot out, and one of my favorite ways to do that was by playing the piano. And I was always a little uncertain about that, because I had this sister named Vanya and let's just say she didn't exactly have a lot going for her at home. But she loved classical music. That was her thing. She was a classical violinist in the making. And I didn't want to infringe on her territory, because she already had so little with our Dad and some of our siblings. So I never explored classical music as much as I might have, but I always liked playing classical music on the piano. I like all music, actually, one of the careers I'd be best in that would horrify my Dad is deejay. But I had this vision as a kid of growing up to be like an artsy, menthol-cigarette smoking piano player at some scenic bar somewhere. My Dad wanted us to aspire to _so much better,_ but it was this vision I always had in my head."

"Who was your favorite classical musician to play on the piano?" said Iris curiously.

"Bach," said Klaus. "Mozart was supposed to be the genius of all geniuses, but I always preferred Bach. There was so much passion loaded into the sound of his work, even after he lost his hearing. I used to put on YouTube videos in the background while practicing, because all the noise helped me concentrate. I could get through ten video walk-throughs of abandoned state penitentiaries just to get down the basics of a single Bach piece."

"Urban exploration!" said Iris immediately. "I love that."

"Really?" said Klaus. "Have you ever been?"

"No, but I'd love to," said Iris regretfully, shaking her head. "I've never done anything. I'd like to remedy that at boarding school."

"Oddly enough, I know the feeling," Klaus admitted.

"And... let's see... ASMR videos," Iris said.

"Tick," said Klaus excitedly. "I love blissing out."

"Tattoo art," said Iris.

"I've always wanted a tattoo!" said Klaus immediately. "I had this dream of tattooing a bunch of cut wires to my wrists, like I was some broken cyborg. I always wanted that to be my first real tattoo as a kid."

"I always had a vision of doll joints along my arms and legs," said Iris with a smile. "I wanted that, and I wanted rainbow tints in my hair, and I wanted some tiny little antique top-down car in a color like lime green or candy apple red. That was my dream adult life. And I love makeup and fashion. I got it from my love for glam rock. I love glam rock."

"That's where I first got interested in makeup and fashion, too," Klaus admitted with a grin. "Your favorite glam rock artist."

"It's a classic, but David Bowie," said Iris sheepishly.

"Do not be remotely ashamed of loving David Bowie. He was an icon," said Klaus fervently.

"I was obsessed with the movie _Labyrinth_ as a little girl, and I could only watch it without my aunt and uncle around, because they despised fantasy movies," said Iris. "But as a little girl I definitely had a crush on Goblin King David Bowie."

"So did I!" said Klaus with a laugh. "Yeah, Goblin King David Bowie and Sarah. That was my dream childhood three-way."

Iris laughed.

"My other dream childhood three-way was Jack and Sally from _The Nightmare Before Christmas,"_ said Klaus slightly ruefully. "I love that movie. I cry at the end every time — and, like, it's not even a tragic movie."

Iris laughed a little, but it was with him instead of at him, and Klaus decided that just felt nice. "I love Tim Burton," she admitted ruefully. "I snuck out of my house at night just to see _The Corpse Bride_ in theaters when it first came out."

"So did I!" said Klaus excitedly. "I've never had anyone to share that with before."

"What was your most controversial childhood interest?" Iris challenged. "Was that it?"

"No, that would be comics and weird sci-fi and vintage art," Klaus admitted ruefully. "To say my Dad didn't get it would be a _vast_ understatement. That went over about as well as my admitting I wanted to be a deejay would have gone over."

"Let's see, what else…" Iris smiled as she reached back into her mind. "I love dark psychology suspense stories, movies, and novels. I love true crime. I listen to a lot of pop punk. I used to take in hurt animals and nurse them back to health.

"And I love dancing. It's one of the things I'm looking forward to learning most at Oakley. I have loved ballet, and been obsessed with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, since I was a little girl. So you could play the piano while I dance, and theoretically that could be really awesome for both of us.

"I love a lot of warm, savory, flavorful foods — soups and sandwiches. Cozy things like that. One thing our aunt did do was make sure me and my sister knew our way around the kitchen. She doesn't get full points, because she didn't demand her son learn the same thing, but it is a useful thing to know. She was a very good baker, especially of elaborate desserts, but very quintessentially British ones — but she occasionally did cross the line over into French cuisine, because she was very into French novels and ballet and things that made her feel classy. One of my favorite desserts that she would make was called ile flottante — little spoonfuls of poached lemon meringue custard in a sea of creme anglaise."

"That does sound good," Klaus admitted.

"It is delicious," said Iris fervently, and it was endearing, the way her face flushed and her eyes lit up when she was excited about something. "My favorite flowers are wildflowers and dandelions — because I don't think they get enough love as flowers. My favorite color of rose is white. I love scented candles, and my favorite scent is cinnamon.

"What do I watch…? A lot of moody, slightly angsty film pieces. Think _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,_ or… _Lost in Translation,_ or… oh, I liked _Begin Again,_ on the more optimistic side of things!

"I think that's me sorted. What about you?" she added curiously.

"Well, like I said, I'm obsessed with fashion," Klaus admitted with no shame. "I love trying on different looks, putting things together that maybe shouldn't go together. I like thrift store Goth. I like bohemian hippie. Those are my two big looks. I love gender ambiguous fashion and scents — a lot of them addiction themed. I like dark eye makeup. Most of it, you can already tell from looking at me. I definitely advertise who I am.

"You already know some of the things I'm interested in. I'm obsessed with the novel _Frankenstein_ — I haven't told you that yet. I listen to a lot of German industrial rock, because I can speak German."

"You can speak German?" said Iris excitedly, brightening.

Klaus grinned. "I can. I was adopted from Germany as a baby and brought to New York City. It was a closed adoption — I've never met my birth mother — and I've never been to Germany. But my adopted Dad decided not only that I could have a German name, but that I could learn German so that I was fluent in the language I was supposed to have spoken in. So I tend to swear a lot in German when I get excited."

Iris grinned.

"I'll have to do it around you sometime, clearly," said Klaus dryly. "What else… I'm into a lot of cottagecore and hippie aesthetics and subjects. If I had to pick one cliche online aesthetic, that would be mine.

"I mostly drink tea; I don't do a lot of coffee. And I cause a lot of trouble when I get bored, so staying active, getting out, and exercising is really important to me if I don't want to become… obnoxious," he finally finished slowly.

"I like hiking," Iris suggested with a smile.

"Sure," said Klaus, shrugging. "Hiking's fine. I guess that's something we could do together."

It was surprisingly easy to talk to Iris. Klaus could admit privately to himself that he hadn't expected such open… friendliness, or… connection.

"Okay," said Iris excitedly, looking down at the sheets of paper. "Next question…"


	2. Two Kinds of People

Chapter Two: Two Kinds of People

"Six things you could never do without," said Ruby.

"That I haven't already mentioned?" said Five. "Clean open space. Clutter drives me nuts. A radio to listen to at night — I listen to it in bed and it sends me off to sleep, because I have problems with racing thoughts. A journal full of math calculations — I think in numbers, that's the closest thing I have to a diary. Anything that reminds me of my siblings. Independence, which I don't think I got enough of growing up. And… my own intellect. For me, it's the most important part of me."

"When you say you don't think you got enough independence growing up, what do you mean?" said Ruby curiously. "If you don't mind me asking."

"I had a very controlled, sheltered childhood. I wasn't allowed out among people much," said Five. "But that's actually not what I meant. My Dad was… very much all about telling me all the things I _couldn't_ do," he muttered darkly, thinking of time travel.

"And he didn't tell you why you couldn't do them," Ruby guessed. Five looked up to stare at her. "Lucky guess," she admitted with a quirk of her lips and a shrug. "You seem like you'd have been the kind of kid who needed to know the reasons behind things. Was it something he thought was dangerous?"

"Yeah," Five admitted. "But he didn't trust me. I could _handle_ it."

"Well, I don't know about that," said Ruby slowly. "If he was a lot older than you… I mean, think of it this way. Say you have a toddler who likes high places. If he decides he wants to climb up on the roof, you're going to keep him from doing that and you're going to tell him it's a bad idea. It's not because you don't trust him. It's because you're older and you can assess risk better.

"But… I mean, to go with the analogy, you might take him to the highest floor of a really tall local building. Let him explore higher places in a much smaller and safer, less risky way. It's all about moderation."

"Moderation…" Five said thoughtfully, thinking of time travel. "Like a few seconds," he muttered softly to himself.

"What?" said Ruby.

"Nothing," said Five. "That… actually helps, thanks. So what about you? Six things you could never do without."

"Well," said Ruby, "I'm very into cozy aesthetics. I decorate my room in a very warm and cozy way. I love a good, earthy glass of red wine, and I know that from dinner parties growing up in England. I love deep sea photography; it's hung up all over my room and I've always wanted to go scuba diving. My aunt used to let me help her with her garden growing up, and to this day I have a love of gardening. I love food — I could never live without being a foodie. And… my sister. I don't know what I'd do without my sister.

"I'll go first next. If you could only eat one food for the rest of time it would be, and your favorite ice cream flavor is.

"If I could only eat one food for the rest of time, it would be hot wings. Hands down. And my favorite ice cream flavor is mud pie. I love that caffeinated, indulgent explosion of flavor in my mouth. Your turn."

"If I could only eat one food for the rest of time — and this is going to sound completely bizarre — it would be tofu. I'm not even vegan; I just like it. My siblings thought it was _disgusting_ growing up, but then they didn't get black coffee either, so. My favorite ice cream flavors are key lime and lemon meringue pie. It's a toss-up which one comes first. I like that sharpness coming from the lemon and the lime.

"I'll go first next," said Five. "This item makes you feel at home. Heating pad. A general rule is that I enjoy feeling so warm it would make other people uncomfortable."

"My sister quilts, and she makes a new quilt for each of us every wintertime," said Ruby. "I love curling up with a quilt and a steaming mug of tea.

"You couldn't function without this app. Easy. I love taking selfies and then putting crazy, stupid filters on them."

"A classic film app," said Five. "You like to take pictures of, your social media is about, and the last video you watched online was.

"I… don't like admitting I'm this sentimental, but most of my pictures are candid, close-up pictures of people in my daily life. My social media is mostly dedicated to classic film, classic horror and Goth, and a lot of engineering and machinist accounts. Maybe some coffee roasting and some old-fashioned blues somewhere in there. The last video I watched online was probably a tutorial teaching me how to do something for myself."

"I take lots of social pictures — myself out with friends, for example," said Ruby. "My social media is mostly dedicated to gardening and the cottagecore, classical novel loving section of the Internet. The last video I watched online was probably a makeup art video, because I love fantastical makeup art — making someone up to look an alien, or a mermaid. Special effects kind of makeup art. I also like watching people bake and cook. I find it relaxing, and I get to learn things in the process.

"Most people that know you would say you're.

"Spirited. Brave. Funny. Optimistic. Social. And… a little much for people sometimes," Ruby finished.

"Intelligent. A fighter. Pragmatic. Logical. Sarcastic. And kind of an asshole," Five finished with a smirk. "I am an old man yelling from his front porch before my time."

"That's sexy," Ruby congratulated him frankly. "Favorite thing about the place you live. Let's make it easy and talk about where we just came from."

"New York City?" said Five. "Well, when I did get to go out in the city, there was this hot dog stand on the corner of Eighth and Eleventh. I swear — best food in the city."

"A random little thing I miss is tea culture," Ruby admitted. "I miss afternoon tea, in a way I… wasn't expecting to.

"Favorite memory from your childhood.

"I used to get into fights in school as a little kid. And… afterward, my sister would always patch me up and make me feel cared for. No one else in my life really did that, so it's a surprisingly important memory for me. What about you?"

"I had a sister named Vanya I was really close to," said Five. "She loved classical music and she played the violin. I used to sit in on her practice sessions and give her pointers even though I knew nothing about music." Five smiled softly. "I wanted to feel included. She always let me. I can't imagine I was much help. A lot of my favorite memories involve Vanya. I used to love scaring her with scary stories, too.

"Things you are not.

"Patient and even-tempered are two big ones for me," Five admitted.

"That's what I was going to say. Look at us. Aren't we a pair," said Ruby, smiling cheerfully. "Do you take arguments or sarcasm very seriously?"

"No," Five admitted, shrugging.

"No, I don't, either. Good auguries, all things considered," said Ruby frankly. "Current goals, and/or what you're doing with your life. I've always wanted to be a singer. I'd love to have a really successful solo piece — here at Oakley."

"The goal I'm thinking of is a little more abstract. I'd like to explore Seattle and teenage life and become my own independent person — outside of my father and my family," said Five thoughtfully. "One day, you would like to.

"I always dreamed of getting old and retiring to a little house out in the country, maybe by a lake somewhere. Take up boat-building. Have a quiet life for a change," Five admitted.

"I've always wanted to learn horseback riding. I loved horses as a little girl," Ruby admitted with a sheepish smile. "You'd like to be known for your.

"Passion," said Ruby.

"Logic," said Five.

Ruby smiled. "Two kinds of people. If money or social position were no concern, this is how you'd be living your life." She looked up at Five expectantly.

"I'd get more into the sciences and academia," Five admitted. "Not teaching. Maybe field study and research."

"I've always loved the idea of opening up a kind of social consulting firm," said Ruby. "Helping people find friends and dates. That kind of a service.

"You could probably beat someone at, and/or you're really good at.

"Nail art. That's really random, but I love Japanese nail art. Kawaii is right up my alley," said Ruby. "You?"

"Complete, unrelenting sass — saying just the right thing to piss any given person off," Five admitted. "My brother Klaus is a close contender when he wants to be… but it's more of my daily life state, so I'd probably win.

"You like to make.

"We've kind of already covered that. I like inventing and building things," said Five.

"And I like writing," said Ruby in turn, smiling slightly. "You want to be better at, and/or your worst qualities are.

"Okay, well, in the name of honesty, I always seem fearless — but when it comes to looking in the face of danger, or even opening up and getting close to someone, my much shyer sister is usually braver than I am," said Ruby. "I hesitate. I don't like the part of me that hesitates."

"… Okay, that's honest. Sometimes I wish I was less _me._ Better at attracting friendships. Better at getting close to people and having them actually like me," Five admitted in return. "I have to admit, if you hadn't already been so brutally honest with me, I'd _never_ have told you that, though.

"You value.

"People who aren't judgmental," Five decided at last. "Good listeners."

"Self-honesty," said Ruby in return. "I don't think enough people have it.

"You spend a lot of time thinking about.

"Looking for where the next good time is, honestly."

"Lots of esoteric subjects," said Five in return. "Complicated mathematics. History. Philosophy. I'm not exactly on the ground very much, but… I don't know, I don't really mean that in a daydreamy way, either. I just don't find the real world to be terribly interesting.

"You should spend less time.

"Losing my temper and saying shit I don't mean," said Five honestly.

"Joking with people as a way to keep them at a distance," said Ruby. "A perfect vacation for you would be.

"Okay, I love shopping. I would adore going to the galleries and boutiques in Paris."

"I've always wanted to visit a vineyard," said Five unexpectedly. "Maybe in Italy.

"On a typical Friday night you are.

"Reading alone. Not terribly interesting," said Five, shrugging.

"Going out swing dancing." Ruby grinned. "I love that. I love swing dancing, and I love old black and white silent film theaters. That's why you picked me, after all — to get you out of your own head." She sounded proud of herself.

"True," Five admitted wryly. "The best day of your life so far." He looked up expectantly at Ruby.

"The day I left home. Maybe that's not a great answer, but… it is true," Ruby admitted.

"I didn't feel normal very often, so… any day where I did could qualify for me," Five admitted in return. "Ideal weekend routine.

"Spending most of the weekend at home in the quiet, working on a building project."

"Spending most of the weekend on the phone, chatting with friends." Ruby grinned sheepishly.

"Two kinds of people," Five echoed, smirking.

"Two kinds of people," Ruby agreed with a laugh. "And… yes, we are on the final home stretch of questions. The last set is the deepest.

"So I guess we should get started."

-

"Six things you could never do without," said Iris.

"That I haven't already mentioned?" said Klaus. "Okay… A place to express myself. I used to have this huge chalkboard in my bedroom at home. I used to paint on my bedroom walls. I still keep a journal. Self-expression is important to me. I'm what you would probably consider an empath, so I'll have nights where I'll lock myself in my room and just pamper myself and give myself a spa day, with no one else around. Low-stimulation environment. Those nights are really important to me.

"I love pranks and I have a good sense of humor. I always seem easygoing, but it's because I deal with the hard things by laughing at them. If I _couldn't_ laugh at something… I don't really know what I'd do. To go a little less philosophical, I love silk kimono — sometimes I wear them as pajamas. I have a weird obsession with dress pictures on Pinterest, but then I also love how girls smell. I don't really know what that means. And… anything I can use to drown out what's around me. That would be my sixth."

"You've talked about that before," said Iris thoughtfully. "Drowning things out. What do you mean by that? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Uh, no, it's okay," said Klaus. "So… I guess this would have come out eventually. I see spirits. Ghosts. Dead people."

Iris nodded thoughtfully. "You're lucky you got a partner as credulous as me," she said at last, "because I believe in that sort of thing already. All right. Continue."

"I've always found the dead… scary," said Klaus slowly. "Sometimes, when I channel them really clearly, I can see how they died and it gets… disturbing. Creepy. Especially when one wanders through when I wasn't expecting it. But also, the dead have always been really loud? I can always hear them in the back of my head — chattering and shouting at me. I'm sorry, I know I sound nuts," he sighed, shaking his head. "I promise, I clinically, officially don't… have anything."

Iris nodded. "That's interesting to me — the loud part," she said thoughtfully. "The dead always struck me as rather quiet. So did death itself. I wonder…"

"What?" said Klaus.

"Well — work with me here for a minute," said Iris. "Let's say you can see the dead. Your purview would then be the soul. Wouldn't it?"

"I guess…" said Klaus slowly.

"Well, the whole point of the soul is caring. So people with a lot of it would care — and feel — unusually deeply," Iris pointed out. "That could explain why seeing the dead is so particularly disturbing to you. Ironically, because of what you can see, you also care more about what you're seeing. Do you follow me?"

"Sure," said Klaus. "But what's your point?"

"I wonder if — in caring so deeply about the dead — some part of you is unconsciously calling to them," said Iris. "What if you're making the noise first, without knowing you're doing it? What if they're just shouting at you… because you're always shouting at them? Being woken up like that would put almost anyone in a bad mood."

"It… makes a kind of sense. But in that case, what would I do about it?" said Klaus.

"You could try meditating, using meditative techniques," said Iris. "Meditating is not about shutting off the flow of thought and emotion, but instead about distancing yourself from it so those thoughts and feelings calm down. If you'd like, I can walk you through what I'm talking about. It'll take maybe twenty minutes, and we can do it right here."

"… Okay," Klaus decided. "Honestly, I'll try anything. This shit has been bugging me for years."

"Okay," said Iris. "Don't close your eyes yet. Just let your gaze loosen. Nice, soft focus. Take in everything around you without forcing yourself to focus on one particular thing. Just take some deep, silent breaths and look at what's around you, very loosely."

Klaus did so. This part wasn't so bad.

"Okay," said Iris. "Now close your eyes."

Klaus did so.

"But still focus on your surrounding environment," said Iris. "When your eyes close, your other senses become sharper. So what do you smell, hear... feel, maybe…? Just take in other sensory sensations."

Klaus spent a couple of minutes cataloguing these.

"Okay," said Iris. "Now turn to your body and do a full body scan. Focus on each part of your body in turn. How does that body part feel? How does your body feel? Don't try to repress anything; no in-depth analysis. Just notice without judgment or worry. You don't have to do anything about how your body is feeling. Just notice how your body is feeling. Start with each body part, and end with the whole."

Klaus spent what must have been a few minutes doing this.

"Okay. Now, we're not going to linger here — which might surprise some people — but take maybe a minute to notice your breaths coming in and out, and how they feel, maybe even how one is different from the next."

Klaus did this, but Iris did not linger here for very long.

"Okay," said Iris. "Now. There are probably a lot of thoughts and feelings running around in the back of your mind. That's pretty normal. Minds are usually busy places. But your job is not to try to get rid of these thoughts and feelings, or repress them. The phrase 'empty mind' is not meant to be taken literally.

"What you do is separate yourself from your thoughts and feelings. You are not your thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts and feeling are not you. There is a part of you that is separate from them. So separate yourself from your thoughts and feelings, and just watch them pass back and forth across your brain. Notice each one, and then just let it pass — let it go — and let the next one come, and then do the same thing. No evaluation. No criticism. No judgment. No problem-solving or trying to fix it. Just watch your thoughts and feelings pass back and forth without judgment.

"Think of it like sitting by the side of a road. You're just watching the cars pass, noticing each one that seems interesting. Your job is not to stand in the middle of the road and try to stop all the cars. Nor is your job to try to chase after one or two specific cars, and get caught up in one specific rumination or thought process. Your job is just to sit by the side of the road, and watch the cars. Let them come and go."

Klaus was not sure how long or how deeply he fell into himself after Iris slowly stopped talking. But he came back to himself when she said, with a smile in her voice, "Congratulations, Klaus. You have now been meditating for twenty minutes."

"Wow," said Klaus, blinking his eyes open. "You're... really good."

"Thank you," she said wryly.

"So I was in that last state for twenty minutes?" he said disbelievingly.

"From the time your gaze loosened, it was twenty minutes," Iris corrected him.

At first Klaus felt disappointed. "But it was all meditation. The minute you let your focus on the world loosen, you've begun the process," she explained with a slight frown. "There is no part of that process that doesn't count as meditation. There is no part of the process that's superior to all the others. That's not how meditation works.

"How loud is it now?" She sounded genuinely curious.

Klaus reached into the back of his mind — and paused, his eyes widening. "I don't hear… anything…" he said softly in a tone of awe.

"You see?" Iris smiled. "I do believe you, but whether you're mentally ill or you can really see the dead… the technique should help in either case. If your problem is a loud mind, meditative techniques should make it quieter."

Klaus looked up at her. "Thank you," he suddenly said distinctly, and he looked both surprised and unusually serious.

"You're welcome." She smiled. "I believe we were at the part where I named my six things I could never live without?"

"I think we were," said Klaus, still trying to overcome his own surprise at how… simple and painless that had been.

"Okay," she said gamely. "Let's see… I love a good glass of a very dry white wine, and I know that from dinner parties growing up in England. I'm obsessed with dream pop music aesthetics — the more morbid and cutesy, the better. Blue and purple are my favorite colors. Halloween is my favorite holiday; I love making strange costumes and dressing up in fantastical ways. I'm the sentimentalist of the family, so I love making photo albums and scrapbooking. And I have a fascination with insects — I was most definitely a bug kid, and my favorites are bumblebees and ladybugs." She smiled. "I'll go first next. If you could only eat one food for the rest of time it would be, and your favorite ice cream flavor is.

"If I could only eat one food for the rest of time, it would be French onion soup and rueben sandwiches. One of my all-time favorite dinners. My favorite ice cream flavor is bubblegum — colorful, but full of soft flavors. Your turn."

"If I could only eat one food for the rest of time, it would have to be something indulgent, like a molten chocolate lava cake covered in whipped cream," said Klaus. "My favorite ice cream flavor is wild berry — I love that explosion of taste in your mouth, but I also love fruity and citrusy flavors.

"My turn. This item makes you feel at home.

"I actually already talked about this. If I don't have a chalkboard, or I can't write on my bedroom walls, it's not really my room yet," Klaus confirmed.

Iris smiled. "I've already talked about mine, too. I love scents. It doesn't even have to be from candles. Sometimes I light incense. Sometimes I use air fresheners.

"You couldn't function without this app. It's an art organization app. It helps me organize all my crafty projects and keep lists of what I need to do next."

"Journaling app. I don't always use a physical journal to get my thoughts down, and having an app means that if I have a thought in public — and I have a lot of those, because I study weird shit from poetry to quantum mechanics — I can just pull out my phone and type it down while it's still there," Klaus explained. "You like to take pictures of, your social media is about, and the last video you watched online was.

"Every time I have a new look that I'm proud of, I take a picture. My phone is full of photos like that. On a related note, on social media I follow a lot of art galleries and fashion influencers," said Klaus. "And we've already covered videos pretty extensively."

"Because we watch all the same stuff," Iris agreed with a smile. "I take a lot of pictures of little things I find in daily life that make me smile — a sunrise, or a flower poking up out of the concrete, or a dog. My social media is very artsy, with a side-interest in occult issues.

"Most people that know you would say you're.

"Quiet. Kind. Compassionate. Patient. Even-tempered. Gentle. Shy and hard to get close to," Iris finished.

"Talkative. Funny. Reckless. Temperamental. Gorgeous. Easygoing. Doesn't think things through," Klaus said in turn. "Favorite thing about the place you live. Let's make it easy and talk about where we just came from.

"I grew up in New York City, and my Dad was really controlling and he didn't really let us go out a lot. One thing we did get to go to, that I did enjoy, was theater performances and art galleries. I mean, obviously, New York is legendary for them. I always enjoyed that part of living in New York City," said Klaus.

"I loved studying the really rich history of Pagan lore back in Britain," said Iris. "It has one of the strongest ancient cultures of magic in the world, and I loved reading about that part of it.

"Favorite memory from your childhood.

"Sleepover nights with my sister. We would stay up, doing each other's nails, talking and laughing late into the night. That's a nice memory."

"I would have nights like that with my sister Allison," Klaus agreed. "But… if I had to pick a favorite memory… it would be the time that, during a prank, I managed to successfully short out every bit of electricity in the house all at once. Everyone was furious with me, and that is impressive. There were ten people in that house."

 _"Ten?"_ said Iris disbelievingly.

"Six siblings," said Klaus wryly. "Three parental figures. It's too many kids. It is. The good thing is that nobody ever notices anything. The bad thing is that nobody ever notices anything.

"Things you are not.

"Ugly. Boring. Good at doing that whole thing some people do where they think things through before they try them," Klaus finished.

Iris laughed despite herself. "Okay… Cruel. Selfish. Good at opening up to people — you're surprisingly easy to talk to for me, so good for you.

"Current goals, and/or what you're doing with your life. I'd love to be a really good dancer — here at Oakley."

"I want to try all the things I never got to do before," said Klaus immediately. "Really, actually experience life. Taste everything it has to offer. I hate feeling self-conscious and inexperienced — bugs the ever-loving shit out of me.

"One day, you would like to.

"Go to that bone church in the Czech Republic."

"Find a real fairy circle out in nature," said Iris. "A fairy circle is a place in a clearing that is made in a rough circle. Think, a patch of dirt where there's usually grass, or a patch of grass where there's usually dirt, or a circle of mushrooms. It has to be in the general shape of a circle, and it has to seem like it would have been pretty coincidental to just _happen_ in that spot of the forestry."

"So like a crop circle, but for magic," said Klaus. "That's cool."

"Yeah, kind of. And it is!" she said enthusiastically. "That, supposedly, is a fairy circle, a place where the fairies live. Since fairies are beings of nature, like dryads, they tend to live in those kinds of places. There are tons of ancient stories of some human man accidentally stepping foot inside a fairy circle. He'll spend a raucous night with the fairies, drinking and fucking to his heart's content. Then he'll stumble back out of the fairy circle hungover the next morning, and he'll realize a hundred years have passed and all his loved ones are dead."

She just said it so matter of factly.

"That is awesome," Klaus admitted. "I'd take that trade anytime. But... what is your goal here? Are you... _hoping_ to step foot inside a fairy circle?" he asked tentatively.

"Of course. If I see a fairy circle, I'm taking that chance," said Iris.

"Won't your aunt, uncle, and cousin be upset?"

"Not in the slightest. My sister will be, but she'll understand," said Iris.

 _"... Okay!"_ said Klaus excitedly. "Hey. What if we eat the mushrooms? Will the fairies curse us?"

"Maybe, but it would be much more likely you'd die first," said Iris.

"But we might not. We could die. Or we could be cursed. Or we could just get really, really high," said Klaus excitedly. "I study a lot of weird science — this is like Schrödinger's Cat! All possibilities will exist until we try it!"

Iris chuckled. "Let's just focus on finding a fairy circle first," she said, sounding amused. "You'd like to be known for your.

"Good heart," Iris finished.

"Sexy body," said Klaus equally immediately.

Iris smiled. "Two kinds of people," she said teasingly, and Klaus laughed in surprise softly. "If money or social position were no concern, this is how you'd be living your life." She looked up at Klaus expectantly.

"I'd be a cultural anthropology teacher slash techno club deejay in Berlin," said Klaus.

"I'd have an urban vegan business empire," said Iris with a smile. "You could probably beat someone at, and/or you're really good at.

"Taking care of other people's pets. Students at my old school used to call me veterinary lady because I could always diagnose accurately what was going on with their animals," said Iris with a wry smile.

"Talking about the science and chemical composition behind different makeup, perfume, and cologne selections," said Klaus. "You like to make. Weird sci-fi charcoal and ink drawings."

"Glitter paintings. I'm obsessed with glitter," said Iris matter of factly. "You want to be better at, and/or your worst qualities are.

"I wish I was better at opening up to people."

"I wish my default defensive state wasn't to become obnoxious," Klaus admitted wryly in return. "You value.

"Kindness, so — you qualify."

Iris smiled. "Creativity and imagination. They were two buzz words my aunt and uncle never liked, but I think they're really important.

"You spend a lot of time thinking about.

"Wondering why people do the things that they do. I'm fascinated by psychology."

"I think about a lot of weird concepts," said Klaus in return. "I wasn't kidding when I said I read a lot of weird shit. Whenever I read a new concept, I toss it around in my mind a lot before I decide what I think about it. There's a lot of chaos up here.

"You should spend less time.

"Acting off of only my feelings, and never my thoughts."

"Closing myself off as a way to avoid getting hurt," Iris said freely in return. "A perfect vacation for you would be.

"I go somewhere new and foreign and I get to explore all the little hole in the wall places and back alleys only the locals know about. I get to try all the food. And I get to do some charity work while I'm there. Because I'm so focused on healing, Doctors Without Borders, for example, has always really interested me. One of the things I think I'd be good at is nursing."

"I love snow," said Klaus unexpectedly. "So I like the idea of going skiing, somewhere like the Swiss Alps, and traveling every day down to a local little artsy village and walking around down there.

"On a typical Friday night you are.

"Well I'd like to be out doing something social — exciting."

"I like the idea of having a casual Friday night," said Iris. "Going to a movie and then having a drink with friends. I've always wanted to see _Rocky Horror,_ for example."

"Yeah, that's a must-see," said Klaus immediately. "The best day of your life so far."

"Once my school took a trip to beekeeping sanctuary when I was a kid. It was a little thing, but it made me happy," said Iris with a smile.

"I didn't felt very connected in a compassionate way to my other siblings very often, so… any memory where I did could qualify as a good memory for me," Klaus admitted honestly. "Ideal weekend routine.

"Sleeping in. Having brunch. Watching TV and reading magazines while doing my nails over tea or coffee."

"Sleeping in. Having brunch. Going out for an afternoon nature walk," said Iris with a smile.

"Two kinds of people," Klaus echoed.

"Two kinds of people," Iris agreed with a laugh. "And… yes, we are on the final home stretch of questions. The last set is the deepest.

"So I guess we should get started."


	3. Never Told Anyone That Before

Chapter Three: Never Told Anyone That Before

"Say you can fill a single dinner table," said Ruby. "Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your very small selection of dinner guests?"

"Are we allowed to choose dead people?" asked Five.

"It doesn't specify." Ruby shrugged and smiled. "I say go for it."

"Okay," said Five, smirking. "Because I was going to say that I would invite a lot of the greatest mathematical and scientific minds throughout the ages — maybe even a few authors and filmmakers who were particularly famous for fantasy and sci-fi stories. If I could make room, having a couple of the really famous historical blues musicians would be a must, too.

"What about you?"

"My dinner table," said Ruby slowly, "would definitely have Jane Austen in it. On the living side, a lot the greatest female punk rockers is a must. And… some of the most badass, famous and successful historical women throughout history. They would be there, too. It would be a very 'women's only' dinner table.

"Would you like to be famous? In what way?

"I… would love being a power woman. I don't know if being traditional celebrity famous, and having cameras constantly going off in my face, would necessarily be a part of that image, though," said Ruby slowly. "What about you?"

"I'm too quiet, reserved, self-contained, private. I'd never want to be famous. I like being successful, but that's different from being famous, and I also like being left alone," said Five. "Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

"Rehearse is a strong word," said Five. "But I know what I'm going to say before I say it."

"I never rehearse anything," said Ruby with a sheepish smile. "Not even the things I probably should have. I blurt things out without thinking and I'm a bit of motor-mouth.

"When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

"I love singing — for other people, in the shower. I sing all the time," Ruby declared. "Sometimes I don't even know I'm doing it."

"I don't sing and I don't dance," said Five flatly. "That was one of the reasons I decided I needed your help."

"Fair enough. It will be a bit of a liability at an art school," Ruby laughed. "If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?"

"I'm torn between both answers," Five admitted, thinking about it. "Because on the one hand, my mind is really important to me and something like senile dementia, for example, scares the shit out of me. On the other hand, having a young body and an old mind wouldn't really be much different from the way I am now. I've always been old for my age."

"I would want the young body," said Ruby. "I'd want to be able to keep physically active. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?"

"Oh, pick one. In the middle of an experiment gone horribly wrong. By pissing the wrong person off. Take your pick," said Five reasonably.

"I'm going to lose my temper and do something dumb," said Ruby matter of factly. "That's how I'm going to go. If I don't win a Darwin Award, that will be an entire death wasted."

Five laughed softly before he could stop himself.

"Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common," said Ruby. "And this has to be mutual — we have to figure it out together.

"So, for example, we're both temperamental and sassy, but neither of us takes things like that too seriously."

"We both like horror," said Five. "And we both like mysteries."

"We both know how to fight," said Ruby, "but we both also enjoy the idea of certain quiet, rural aspects of life.

"It's my turn to go first next. For what in your life do you feel most grateful? My sister. Hands down. The rest of my relatives can go fuck themselves, but I'm very close to my sister. She's my fraternal twin, and the only original member of my immediate family I grew up with."

"What happened to your parents?" said Five. "You don't have to answer."

"No, it's all right," said Ruby. "Car wreck. My sister and I were toddlers. That's why we each have a lightning bolt shaped scar on our forehead. It's like — this is really brutal, but like a piece of glass or something just slashed across both our foreheads in one blow. Otherwise, we were uninjured. But our parents died. I don't remember them. Neither does my sister."

"I'm sorry," said Five.

"Thanks," said Ruby, shrugging. "What about you? What are you grateful for?"

"My siblings. I'm kind of a dick a lot, but I'd do anything for my siblings," said Five honestly. "If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

"I've mentioned being tightly controlled a lot — never feeling normal, or being allowed to go out among people or do normal kid things, or even being able to do what I really wanted to. That's the part I'd change."

"My aunt and uncle would actually have acted like close, loving, functional parents," said Ruby with brutal honesty. "If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

"I'd be able to control fire." She smiled whimsically.

"I would…" Five thought about this. He already had an ability — space-time jumps — and he had no problems with his. What ability or quality could he talk about… that wasn't a power…? "I'd be able to know the answer to any given question I had," he decided at last. "If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

"I'd want to see all the possibilities for each of my given life choices — all the things that could have happened."

"You'd want a road map," said Ruby.

"I'd want to be prepared," said Five. "You?"

"I'd love to know more about my parents," Ruby admitted. "They were never really talked about growing up.

"Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

"Making it this far was my biggest dream. I've achieved that," said Ruby.

"Yeah, that's… my answer," Five admitted. "What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? I guess some of my mathematic and scientific breakthroughs could qualify — or some of the things I achieved training as a fighter."

"It's a little thing, but making class president at my last school," said Ruby. "It's not a major life thing, but it made me happy.

"What do you value most in a friendship?

"A perfect combination of brutal honesty but unconditional support."

"Lack of judgment," said Five. "Kindness. And loyalty.

"What is your most treasured memory?

"Two am nights sneaking out to the kitchen with Vanya, snacking and talking late into the night."

"The first time I let myself cry over anything," said Ruby. "I always seem really open, extroverted, and friendly, but I've already talked about the fact that vulnerability isn't my favorite thing — especially the sad, soft kind.

"What is your most terrible memory?

"Having to just sit there and swallow it when my aunt and uncle would get cruel or cutting with their words. My pride hated that."

"Some of my fights with Dad," said Five. "I gave him a lot of hell, just in a more argumentative and less troublemaking way than my brother Klaus.

"If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

"I was trained to see an ability for violence as important. I honestly think I'd channel that a lot less."

Ruby smiled. "I might write apology letters to all the people I've lost my temper at over the years," she half-joked. "What roles do love and affection play in your life?

"Mostly I get it from my sister. She and I banded together against outside forces. Probably one of the reasons we turned out as well as we did, to be honest."

"My siblings and I definitely never did that," said Five honestly. "Love and affection don't play very big roles in my life. I don't suppose that's a healthy answer.

"Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic or aspect of your partner. Between the two of you, a total of ten items should be shared.

"Okay… You're very fierce and you have a lot of spirit."

Ruby smiled. "You're a lot more logical and empirical than I am, which is probably going to be a really good thing when we start working together, because that's something I don't have a lot of myself."

"You're better with people than I am. I can already tell."

"You may be a bit closed off, but you're also surprisingly honest — both with yourself and with others. I can respect that," said Ruby.

"You have a good sense of humor," said Five.

"You don't seem to possess a lot of the crippling self-consciousness most boys our age do. You don't seem afraid or hesitant to admit who and what you and your true interests are," said Ruby. "It's refreshingly self-assured of you."

"You have some masculine interests, but you're also not afraid to be feminine," said Five. "I think a lot of girls our age think they have to choose one or the other. You're already aware you can do both."

"You're an old soul, with dark and classy vibes. It's very elegant of you," said Ruby, and Five smirked despite himself.

"You're easy even for me to talk to. That's saying something," Five finished honestly.

"I was worried at the beginning of all this that you wouldn't be able to open up. You're obviously putting in the effort to try to, which not everyone would have done," said Ruby. "I believe it's your turn to go first."

"How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?" Five read off. "Not close and warm in the slightest, and my childhood was one of the least happy moderately functional childhoods I have ever heard of." He sounded remarkably matter of fact about the whole thing.

"My answer depends on whether you're talking about my family, or my sister," said Ruby thoughtful. "There is so much love and happiness between me and my sister. But, on a larger family level, I don't think my family and my childhood were much closer or happier than yours.

"How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

"Well, as I said, I wish I had gotten to know my mother. As it is, I suppose I'll have to talk about my aunt. She and I had a… difficult relationship. We engaged in a lot of power struggles."

"I have a healthy respect for my Mom," said Five, shrugging. "She was a much better Mom than our Dad was a Dad. She tried really hard to mitigate a lot of his damage, I think.

"Make three true _we_ statements. For instance, _We are both in this room feeling…_ But it doesn't have to be feeling. It can be anything.

"We both had shitty childhoods. There's an easy one."

"We both value things like power and success," said Ruby. "We're both big readers, which also makes us at least moderately intelligent. I guess that could all sort of be one fact."

"We both feel more loyalty to a sibling than to our parental figures," said Five. "Complete this sentence: _I wish I had someone with whom I could share…"_

Five sat back in thought.

"The little things," he decided at last, surprising even himself.

"My more vulnerable side — not many people get to see it," said Ruby in turn. "If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

"I'm not nearly as self-confident as I sometimes act or seem," she admitted.

"I'm not always good at emoting — but I do listen, and at the end of the day I'm undyingly loyal," said Five in turn. "Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

"… You're a lot brighter and happier than me. The world seems less gloomy around you. Which is impressive, considering the kind of childhood you apparently had," said Five honestly.

Ruby — characteristically — brightened and beamed. "Thank you!" she said, sounding pleased. "Let's see… So far you seem to be a calming influence. That's good for me. I'm not always calm very often.

"Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

"The first time I tried to flirt with a boy at school, he mocked me loudly in the school corridor and everybody laughed," said Ruby.

"… One time, when I was about seven or eight, I was hit really hard in the wrong area during a spar and I hit the ground really hard," said Five at last. "And I started crying. And I hate crying in front of people. My Dad stormed over and made a long, self-righteous speech that can be essentially summarized as, _stop being such a baby and get back up to finish the spar."_

"Real charmer, your father," said Ruby in distaste.

"Yeah, he had his moments," said Five dryly. "When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

"I never cry in front of other people," said Five slowly. "As a kid, when I had a fight with one of my siblings, I used to go up to my bedroom to cry. But I'd throw stuff all around my room so that people would think I was losing my temper instead. I've… never told anybody that," he realized in surprise.

"Well, your secret's safe with me," said Ruby, shrugging. "I don't like crying in front of people, either. I save my crying for sad-happy moments — my favorite love stories, my favorite movies. I try to channel crying in a positive way. When I get upset, I deal with it in other ways instead."

This, Five thought privately, was surprisingly wise.

"Tell your partner what you like about them already," Ruby read off. "It's obvious you're really invested in the people you come to care about — the people who get past your reserve. And you're good at actually listening, not just pretending to listen."

"You're… full of life," Five finally managed to put into words, flushing and feeling absurdly poetic. "And… you don't judge or laugh when it really matters. Which I can't say of a lot of people with a sense of humor.

"What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

"A lot of things, in my opinion. But so far you seem to be pretty good at making me redraw those boundary lines," Five admitted.

"Some political and social issues," said Ruby thoughtfully. "I may be an extrovert with a good sense of humor, but I'm also politically aware.

"If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

"I say everything that's on my mind," said Ruby honestly. "I can't think of anything I haven't said. If anything, I regret not holding a few things back."

"That's… admirable," Five admitted frankly. "There are a few private things I'd regret not telling my siblings." Like what had happened to him. "Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

"My math journal — the one full of calculations."

"My typewriter — and my folder full of articles and stories," said Ruby. "Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why? This the final interview question.

"This… is a predictable answer, but my sister's death would disturb me. And even for some not as obvious reasons. I'm very protective of my sister. I would feel like I had failed her."

"I'd feel the same way about my siblings," Five admitted. "But if I had to pick someone… I'm torn between Klaus and my Dad. My Dad, no matter how much of a dick he was, was like this immortal pillar of my childhood. The idea of him dying is weird to me. Klaus… is one of my brothers, and the fact that I would find his death disturbing actually surprises me. Klaus is kind of a goofball, definitely a dork, but at the same time… he's always, imitably, _himself._ He's the only sibling who came here with me, and the idea of him not being around anymore is… a surprisingly creepy one for me.

"And… that's it? We're done?" Five looked up in surprise. That… hadn't been as bad as he'd thought it would be. He suspected Ruby had something to do with that.

"We are," said Ruby in satisfaction, pulling all the interview question sheets back together with a great and triumphant flourish. "I believe that tonight we have to send over a few paragraphs via school email, talking about a few things we learned. We also have to do that with each subsequent activity, so that the school officials can tell we actually did what we were supposed to do this summer as partners.

"But… that aside, yes, we're done with the opening interview!" She smiled up at him cheerfully. Ruby had been a bit worried about trying to interview someone as taciturn as Five, but he had done surprisingly and impressively well. "I'm done with my drink. You done with yours?"

"I am," said Five, and they both stood as Ruby grabbed her bag.

They stood and looked at each other. Then Ruby grinned and stuck out her hand.

"It was genuinely nice to meet you, Five," she said warmly. "And I look forward to doing our list of activities together this summer."

"Yeah, this… surprises me a little, but I'm actually looking forward to it, too," said Five thoughtfully. He grasped the hand and shook it. "It was nice to meet you… Ruby."

-

"Say you can fill a single dinner table," said Iris. "Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your very small selection of dinner guests?"

"Are we allowed to choose dead people?" asked Klaus.

"It doesn't specify." Iris shrugged and smiled. "I say go for it."

"Okay. Because Bach would definitely be at the table," said Klaus. "Along with several of those old glam rock stars, and a few quantum scientists. What about you?"

"I've always really respected Natalie Portman — not just for her role in _Black Swan,_ or in other movies, but because she seems really intelligent. She has a degree, and she teaches Masterclasses, and... I don't know. I've just always thought she would be really interesting to talk to," said Iris thoughtfully. "Björk. I love her music so much and I'd love a chance to be able to talk to her about the avant-garde, and about the masterpiece that was _Utopia._ My other favorite avant-garde artists would also make the list. And… I love the idea of talking to some of the most famous ancient Celtic witches of old.

"Would you like to be famous? In what way?

"Being famous for something very creative would be very interesting. But a lot of my interests, like antique cars, don't have anything to do with fame or acclaim. I don't think I'd want to be famous." She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "I'm too shy. Being put in the spotlight all the time would just make me uncomfortable."

Klaus snorted and gave her a skeptical look. "I have a feeling you'd get used to it."

"No, I'm serious!" said Iris, shrugging. "My ultimate dream is to own some obscure vegan shop or oddities and curiosities store in a big city somewhere. How am I ever going to achieve that level of obscurity as a famous person?

"What about you? Would you want to be famous?"

"Yes, but not for a great reason," said Klaus slowly, wincing.

"What do you mean?" said Iris, tilting her head thoughtfully. Klaus looked into her eyes... and ended up telling the truth, because for the first time he wanted to.

"I was the ignored one in my family. Even my sister Vanya, who everyone looked down on, still had close friends among our siblings. I never really had anyone like that. I was always overlooked, and it was sort of just... always only me. So I like the idea of having... attention," said Klaus slowly. "Even if maybe that's not... healthy."

"That's honest," said Iris thoughtfully. "I would think, though, that a few close friendships would fill that hole a lot better than the distant adoration of hundreds would."

"Yeah, but where am I going to find something like that?" said Klaus skeptically.

"I consider you a friend," Iris pointed out honestly.

Klaus stared at her — and then the biggest, stupidest, happiest smile grew over his features. "Oh," he said in a tiny voice, and squirmed in his seat. "... Thanks."

"You're welcome. So what kind of celebrity would you like to be?" said Iris thoughtfully. "Picture someone — not for what they did, but for what kind of person they seemed to be. The ideal. What comes to mind?"

"An actress — like one of the old, classy ones, Audrey Hepburn or Greta Garbo," said Klaus slowly. "Is that... shallow?"

"That's not necessarily shallow," said Iris slowly, "as long as you're interested in becoming Audrey Hepburn for the right reasons. She did a lot politically and for charity, had an incredibly inventive career, had a very private personal life. It's a matter of perspective.

"Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?"

"I do my best thinking on my feet," said Klaus dismissively. "I never rehearse. You?"

"Always," Iris admitted. "I hate phone calls. They make me nervous. Cold calls are the worst. I didn't even like ordering food at restaurants as a little kid.

"When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

"I sing to myself a lot. I like music. I think the only other person I've ever sang for is my sister. She's my fraternal twin, and the only original member of my immediate family I actually grew up with. She and I are very close."

"Oh, I sing all the time. Obnoxiously. People hate it," said Klaus brightly, and Iris started laughing. "My default state is singing. When I'm listening to music. When I'm playing music. All the time! Forever! You can't shut me up!

"By the way… you don't have to answer this, but… you said you and your sister grew up with an aunt, uncle, and cousin. What happened to your parents?"

"No, it's all right," said Iris. "Car wreck. My sister and I were toddlers. That's why we each have a lightning bolt shaped scar on our forehead. It's like — this is really brutal, but like a piece of glass or something just slashed across both our foreheads in one blow. Otherwise, we were uninjured. But our parents died. I don't remember them. Neither does my sister."

"I'm sorry," said Klaus.

"Thanks," said Iris. "If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?"

"The body, definitely, and for totally vain reasons," said Klaus honestly and shamelessly.

"I think I'd choose the body, too, but it's because I like the idea of having an old mind," said Iris thoughtfully. "I'm a big proponent of the old-fashioned idea that age confers wisdom.

"Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?"

"Definitely something stupid, reckless, and totally avoidable," said Klaus.

Iris laughed despite herself. "I've always thought I'll probably die because one of the wild animals I take in finally turns on me," Iris admitted sheepishly, and it was Klaus's turn to laugh despite himself. "Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. And this has to be mutual — we have to figure it out together.

"So, for example, we have a lot of the same interests — a lot of the things we each like, we actually have in common."

"We both sometimes felt distant from other people growing up, just for different reasons," said Klaus.

"We both had an artsy pipe dream that was maybe a little eccentric as a kid. I wanted that San Francisco Apothecary and vegan shop. You had that artsy, menthol cigarette smoking piano player at a scenic bar fantasy," said Iris with a playful smile. "It's my turn to go first next. For what in your life do you feel most grateful? My sister. Hands down. The rest of the people I grew up with left something to be desired, but I love my sister and we're very close."

"That I was able to deal with things by laughing at them. It was a really important survival mechanism when I was a kid. I think I'd be a lot worse off without it," said Klaus honestly. "If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

"I'd have felt some sense of close, loving, respectful, accepting connection. Probably from my siblings, at least."

"I would have been able to understand why my aunt and uncle did the things that they did. Would that have made it better? Not in the slightest. But I'd have liked to understand," said Iris honestly. "If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

"I'd be able to talk to animals." She smiled whimsically.

"I would…" Klaus thought about this. He already had an ability — over the dead, the spirits, and the soul — and he may at times have hated his ability, but it was still an essential part of him. What ability or quality could he talk about… that wasn't a power…? "A lot of the things I don't feel like I am very often — brave, maybe, with some sense of fighting spirit — I'd have those qualities," he decided at last. "If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

"I've always wondered what my life would have been like if I'd actually been raised by my birth mother in Germany," Klaus admitted. "I've never told anyone that before. But it is true."

"I've always wondered what my parents were like," Iris admitted in return. "They were never really talked about growing up."

"Is that what you'd want to know?" said Klaus.

"… Yeah," said Iris. "I guess it is.

"Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

"Making it this far was my biggest dream. I've achieved that," said Iris.

"Yeah, that's… my answer," Klaus admitted. "What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? I'm trying to think of something I'm proud of where I didn't just piss everybody off, but… I'm really reaching. I guess I'm still searching for the greatest accomplishment of my life."

"The first time I successfully cared for an injured animal and sent it back off into the wild. I felt really proud of myself then," Iris declared. "What do you value most in a friendship?

"Unconditional support, and a certain level of gentleness."

"Unconditional acceptance, and a certain level of kindness," said Klaus in return. "So… similar. What is your most treasured memory?

"The nights I spent alone — pampering myself and taking care of myself, low stimulation environment. Those would qualify for me. They were peaceful. I may have been alone, but… peace was still a rare quality in my house growing up."

"Talks with my sister, where I would actually be vulnerable with her, and she would listen and offer support," said Iris in return. "Just that little act of listening to something I would usually never tell anyone, and supporting me through it… that is a treasured memory for me.

"What is your most terrible memory?

"My aunt and uncle were very heavy on the chores. They made me and my sister do everything from cooking, to cleaning, to gardening and working on the car… Their justification was that my sister and I were living off of their charity, so we had to earn our keep. That meant we did most of the grunt work."

"Ugh," said Klaus, making a face.

"Exactly," said Iris. "It was useful, I suppose. It's why we're both so self-sufficient. Between that, and the way they just neglected us and let us run wild, taking the bus into the city and having strange hobbies and things… I mean, we have most basic adult stuff covered already. And I guess that is invaluable. Doesn't mean I had to like any of it, though. I'd have loved actually feeling like a kid."

"That's fair," said Klaus. "In all my most terrible memories... in all my worst memories, there's this big scary ghost manifesting in front of me on one side, and Dad belittling me about how weak I am for being afraid of it on the other side."

Iris thought about this for a while. "That seems counterproductive," she said at last. "Lecturing someone during a moment of fear just adds more stress to the situation. Anyone would form a bit of a complex. It's not weakness — and it has nothing to do with you. You probably just got scared for a minute as a little kid, and then your Dad blew it up into some great thing."

"So you don't even think I'm inherently afraid of ghosts," Klaus realized.

"No, I'm not convinced," said Iris thoughtfully. "I think that he defined how hard you were on yourself about the way you could see the dead. I think if you stopped paying attention to how your father would have handled things, you'll get on a lot better without him."

Klaus sat back and thought about this.

"If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?" said Iris.

"I can't think of anything I'd change," Klaus admitted. "Dad was really big on teaching his kids the importance of violence, but I was always rubbish at that, so. I can't think of anything. I get the feeling that if I'd stayed at home, my answer might have changed in a few years, though."

"I'd make more of an effort to open up to more people — try to find close, enduring ties and relationships," said Iris. "What roles do love and affection play in your life?

"Mostly I get it from my sister. She and I banded together against outside forces. Probably one of the reasons we turned out as well as we did, to be honest."

"My siblings and I definitely never did that," said Klaus honestly. "Love and affection don't play very big roles in my life. I don't suppose that's a healthy answer.

"Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic or aspect of your partner. Between the two of you, a total of ten items should be shared.

"Okay. You're very kind, sweet, and gentle."

"You're very social and you have a good sense of humor about things," said Iris. "You can actually get me to laugh and open up. It's a rare quality."

"You have a lot of compassion — even for living things besides people," said Klaus.

"You strike me as very artistic and unique," said Iris.

"You have awesome taste. You just run down my entire checklist of cool things I've always wished I had a friend who was into," said Klaus with a grin.

Iris smiled. "You were taught violence, but you were never good at it. I actually consider that a strength, not a weakness."

"You're trying to open up to me — which is brave, since that is self-admittedly the thing that scares you the most," said Klaus.

"Unless I'm much mistaken, you probably have more of an investment in where you came from than a lot of your siblings," said Iris. "Also a strength, not a weakness."

"You taught yourself how to make pretty much everything you make. And considering how many different ways you're creative, that's pretty incredible," said Klaus.

"You advertise who you are — you said so yourself. Not all people our age are that self-assured," Iris pointed out. "I believe it's your turn to go first."

"How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?" Klaus read off. "Not close and warm in the slightest, and my childhood was one of the least happy moderately functional childhoods I have ever heard of." He sounded remarkably matter of fact about the whole thing.

"My answer depends on whether you're talking about my family, or my sister," said Iris thoughtful. "There is so much love and happiness between me and my sister. But, on a larger family level, I don't think my family and my childhood were much closer or happier than yours.

"How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

"Well, as I said, I wish I had gotten to know my mother. As it is, I suppose I'll have to talk about my aunt. She and I had a… difficult relationship. She enjoyed my sense of sophistication, but hated my sense of whimsy. For me, unfortunately, those two things go together."

"I have a healthy respect for my Mom," said Klaus, shrugging. "She was a much better Mom than our Dad was a Dad. She tried really hard to mitigate a lot of his damage, I think.

"Make three true _we_ statements. For instance, _We are both in this room feeling…_ But it doesn't have to be feeling. It can be anything.

"We both had shitty childhoods. There's an easy one."

"We both have a very defiant sense of our artistry," said Iris. "We both love art, in spite of our parents, I think. And we both love pieces of art I suspect both our parents would especially hate."

"We both value kindness, even though our childhoods didn't," Klaus finished. "Complete this sentence: _I wish I had someone with whom I could share…"_

Klaus sat back in thought.

"My more eccentric hobbies and interests," he decided at last. "Without judgment."

"My private feelings," said Iris. "The things I'm not always good at expressing to most people.

"If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

"I try to speak up for myself, but I'm not always good at it. I can get kind of passive-aggressive. Sometimes nonverbal cues are important with me."

"Humor is my defense mechanism," said Klaus. "And my self-confidence isn't always as flawless as sometimes I act like it is.

"Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

"I don't ever feel defensive around you. You're just very sweet and cute and nonjudgmental and kind. I don't encounter that very often," Klaus admitted honestly.

"I don't usually laugh as often as I do around you," Iris admitted equally as honestly. "So from my perspective, you definitely bring a lot of unexpected joy into the conversation."

Klaus brightened, almost despite himself.

"Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life," Iris read off. "I can get kind of daydreamy and spacey. Once in class, I was daydreaming out the window, and I guess the teacher had called on me and I didn't hear her. She walked right up to me, slapped her ruler right on the desk in front of me, and said, _Iris, I know your head is completely empty, but could we pretend for a few seconds that it isn't?_ And everybody laughed."

"The first time I ever experimented with a new, kind of bold fashion look," Klaus shared in return, "I walked into the dining room for breakfast, and my entire family just burst out laughing. Everyone immediately tore into me. And I had to laugh and joke it off, and go along with it, and pretend I'd been kidding. And then I had to find the will inside me to keep experimenting with fashion anyway. My family was great at stuff like that.

"When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

"I cry at the ends of sad movies a lot. My brothers call me a sentimental sap. In general, I'm… surprisingly free with my emotions for a guy. That said, I don't cry over intense stuff too often. That would be a sign of weakness in my family. So I guess I have to be… strategic about it."

"I cry a lot — when I'm sad, when I'm angry, when it's embarrassing, when people are picking on me, in front of other people, when I'm not supposed to." Iris shook her head. "I _hate_ it," she said fervently. "Tell your partner what you like about them already," she read off next. "You're… very open with people. I think it encourages them to be open in return."

"You're very… sunshiny," said Klaus awkwardly. "I'm trying to figure out how to explain what I mean by that. Everything about you — the way you smile, or laugh, or talk — I think it makes people feel better. It makes _me_ feel better, anyway," he shrugged, and Iris beamed. Yeah, Klaus thought. He'd said the right thing. "What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

"… Not much. I don't have much of a filter," he admitted.

"I can't think of too many things I find offensive," Iris admitted curiously. "I guess animals and environmental issues are off-limits for me. I can't think of too much else. Good auguries, I suppose.

"If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

"I'd regret never having stood up to my family. My sister stood up to them a lot, but I never did," said Iris honestly.

"I never had that problem. I was always defiant. I was always causing trouble for my Dad," said Klaus honestly. "I can't honestly think of too much I haven't told someone that I'd want to.

"Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

"I guess this sounds vain, but I think I'd pick one of my favorite fashion pieces, honestly."

"My scrapbooks and photo albums. Sentimentalist, right here," said Iris sheepishly.

"No, that's… better than my answer," said Klaus frankly.

"Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why? This is the final interview question," said Iris. "This… may be a surprising answer, but my aunt and uncle. Not in a positive way. But they were just these imitable, horrifying pillars of my childhood, and the idea of them being gone is… weird."

"… I'm thinking of one of my brothers. Diego," said Klaus thoughtfully. "Diego is the only sibling I can think of who maybe, might have, sometimes, kind of had his shit together. He was strong — and in willpower, too. Yeah. He'd love this, but… the idea of Diego being gone genuinely freaks me out.

"And… that's it? We're done?" Klaus looked up in surprise.

"We are," said Iris in satisfaction, pulling all the interview question sheets back together with a great and triumphant flourish. "I believe that tonight we have to send over a few paragraphs via school email, talking about a few things we learned. We also have to do that with each subsequent activity, so that the school officials can tell we actually did what we were supposed to do this summer as partners.

"But… that aside, yes, we're done with the opening interview!" She smiled up at him cheerfully. "I'm done with my drink. You done with yours?"

"I am," said Klaus, and they both stood as Iris grabbed her bag.

They stood and looked at each other. Then Iris smiled warmly and stuck out her hand.

"It was genuinely nice to meet you, Klaus," she said warmly. "And I look forward to doing our list of activities together this summer."

"Yeah, this… surprises me a little, but I'm actually looking forward to it, too," said Klaus thoughtfully. He grasped the hand and shook it. "It was nice to meet you… Iris."

-

When Dot walked into the Handler's office that day at the Commission, she already looked nervous. And that wasn't a good sign.

"Yes, Dot, what is it?" said the Handler slightly impatiently from behind her desk. "Come on, spit it out."

"As you know, I'm supposed to keep track of the Hargreeves family, ma'am, because they're so vital in the Apocalypse," Dot began, shifting uneasily on her feet. "Well, the two boys who separated..."

"Yes, I remember," said the Handler thoughtfully. "Klaus and Five. They were supposed to stay living with their father, and in about six months, at the age of thirteen, they were each due to have their pivotal moment. Klaus was going to start spending every night locked in a mausoleum by order of his lovely father, severely traumatizing him for life and leading to a longterm life of addiction. Five was going to try time traveling, and run away from home inadvertently before his father was due to lock him away to 'help' his powers in a similar manner. Five was supposed to be stuck alone for the rest of his life in a post-Apocalyptic future — the last person on Earth.

"Then a change happened. Klaus and Five got into an argument one afternoon at twelve years old that they weren't supposed to get into. The two of them ended up alone outside their father's office, accidentally overhearing him tell Pogo about his plans for the two of them. They realized they had to escape, so they faked being murdered in their beds and then they ran away from home. The farthest away their collected money over the years could get them by bus was Seattle, Washington

"Clever, creative, and resourceful, I'll give them that. We were considering sending someone out after them — they may not be Vanya, but the Hargreeves are important if the world is to end. Still, a man stuck in the future post-Apocalypse and a drug addict no one took seriously weren't supposed to change anything vital.

"Why? What happened?"

"Well, that's the thing, ma'am," said Dot. "The Apocalypse is still on. As far as we can tell, Klaus and Five haven't changed their minds in their decision never to return to their original family. Not even at the age of thirty, when the Apocalypse is set to happen."

"As far as we can tell?" The Handler straightened seriously. "What does that mean?" she demanded.

"Well, first…" Dot shifted uneasily. "Five has disappeared from the post-Apocalyptic future. There is no scenario we can see where he appears there. And Klaus, as far as we can tell, is now set never to become an addict at all. This, as you know, is strange, because theoretically the same thing was still set to happen to both of them. Five would have been tempted by the idea of long-term time travel whether or not he grew up with Sir Reginald Hargreeves. Klaus would have learned he could drown out the dead with alcohol and drugs whether or not he was locked in the mausoleum. Something has happened to both of them — some occurrence that has effectively taken care of all those problems and changed both their minds about something. But we can't tell what it is, because…

"They've... they've disappeared, ma'am. Off of our radars. Not only is their father never due to second-guess their supposed murders, but... we can't find them. In any period of history. Anywhere.

"It's like they've vanished. But they're obviously still alive. Their basic signatures are still spouting out new statistics. I just… we don't understand why we can't find them. No one important has ever done this before."

The Handler sat back, looking pale. Her jaw clenched and there was silence. "... But the Apocalypse is still on," she confirmed in a hard voice.

"Yes, ma'am."

"... Fine. I don't know what their disappearance means, but I'll keep it under advisement. Keep a closer watch on the Hargreeves than you did before. Dismissed." Dot nodded her head in half a bow and scurried out of the office, clearly relieved the reaction hadn't been worse.

The Handler sat back alone in her office. It had been a bald-faced lie. She knew exactly what Klaus and Five's disappearance meant.

"... They've now come into regular contact with magical people," she said aloud to herself in the office. "Which means not only can we not _see_ them... we can't touch them.

_"... Shit._

"Who the _hell_ could they have met who changed the entire course of their futures in the space of a single afternoon? Who the _hell_ could have been born that important and world changing?"

-

_There I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles, same old tired lonely place. Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy vanished when I saw your face. All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you. Your eyes whispered, “Have we met?” Cross the room, your silhouette starts to make its way to me. The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy. All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you. All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you._

_— Enchanted, Taylor Swift_

_I was reminiscing just the other day while having coffee all alone and Lord it took me away, back to a first glance feeling on New York time, back when you fit my poems like a perfect rhyme. Took off faster than a green light, go, yeah you skip the conversation when you already know. I left a note on the door with a joke we’d made, and that was the first day. And darling, it was good never looking down. And right there where we stood was holy ground._

_— Holy Ground, Taylor Swift_


	4. Firsts

Chapter Four: Firsts

For their first afternoon together, Klaus met Iris by the waterfront. He beamed and waved, and she smiled warmly and gave a tiny wave back from the spot where she had agreed to wait for him. So. Not tired of him. Good sign.

They began walking together down towards the waterfront. "Hey, not to make things awkward — because I'm not suggesting we do this," said Klaus quickly. "But I was wondering if you had been hearing the same weird rumor about partners at Oakley that I have."

"What is it?" said Iris, puzzled.

"Well, I overheard older students gossiping in a common room the other day, in the dorms?" said Klaus. "They were just having casual conversation. And apparently there's something students call 'the partner clause.' While official partner relationships are forbidden, I've heard that a lot of partners do a 'friends with benefits' kind of thing because they think it furthers their chemistry in artistic performances. The student theory is that the school knows about it, but doesn't do anything — which is why people call it a clause. It's like a clause to the 'don't have a relationship rule' in the eyes of a lot of the older students.

"I'm mentioning it because I wanted to get the awkward rumor out of the way right now, and also because I thought it was weird."

"It is strange," Iris agreed thoughtfully, frowning, puzzled. She didn't seem offended, Klaus noted in relief. "I doubt we'll ever need it. But it might provide some… interesting insight into some of our classmates," she said, her tone clearly dubious.

"Yeah, I'm going to be looking at every partner pair wondering if they're fucking on the side now," said Klaus. They shared a slight laugh and the air cleared into something warmer and more casual again.

They got to the waterfront — the ocean was a steely grayish-blue with choppy white foam under the silvery skies — and they walked through the bustling outdoor section of Pike's Place Market, a series of stalls and tents that sold everything from glittering sea glass jewelry to fish hissing on grills and fryers. Through the bustling and shouting crowds of people, they finally found a staircase leading underground and they followed it down to —

"The first activity," said Iris proudly. "Seattle's underground shopping mall. Home to some of the most famous concept stores in the world."

"Wow…" Klaus whispered, his eyes wide, glittering, and awed.

The underground shopping mall was a long, dark underground stone tunnel, wide enough to encompass a walkway and shops on either side. The air was cool and damp, the scent of the sea breeze strong, and the tunnel was lit solely with artificial lighting and the gleam of neon shop lights from seemingly hundreds of sprawling, glass-fronted boutique-like stores. Crowds of people bustled through the underground shopping mall, going both ways all in one great mass. Tiny stands off to the sides sold newspapers for cheap.

"Shall we get started?" said Iris, sounding pleased.

They descended the steps and began passing through the underground shopping mall. "I wanted to go here," said Iris, pausing at their first stop. "This is Colette."

Klaus followed Iris inside.

Colette turned out to be a three level store. The top level showed a view of the more sunshiny aboveground Seattle city street just adjacent to the underground shopping mall. Colette specialized in tech, fashion, and art, and it included a book and magazine library, a candle bar, a gallery and beauty department, and a water-bar restaurant that sold over 90 different brands of water. It was both the strangest and the coolest place Klaus had ever been to.

Klaus fiddled around with the tech, and Iris insisted on stopping to look at the art on display in the gallery. They both loved the fashion section and beauty department, lingering over different products, showing them off to each other and talking coloring, design, fashion, and just overall shop. Iris was like Allison, but weirder. Klaus decided he liked that.

They each checked out a book at the library, and Iris bought two different scented candles at the candle bar. Then they sat in the water-bar restaurant, dedicating themselves to trying as many different weird kinds of designer brands of flavored waters as they could.

When they were suitably hydrated, they got up and left Colette to move further down the mall strip.

Their next stop was at Opening Ceremony. Opening Ceremony had four floors selling womenswear — which wasn't a problem for Klaus, because he loved womenswear. It also had a children's area, a bookshop, a shoe gallery, and a section for local artsy Seattle zines. Installations littered the store, not for sale but simply to add to the aesthetic effect.

Klaus and Iris spent most of their time examining and walking through the installations, and flipping through different local zines to see what they were like. They went to the shoe gallery and shamelessly tried on shoes they were never going to buy — Klaus made Iris laugh by trying to strut around in a pair of heels even though he'd never worn heels before.

Finally, they made it to the actual womenswear section.

Iris flipped through a few pieces of interest. Finally, she looked around to find Klaus standing back uncharacteristically hesitantly, staring around himself in hopeful terror at the women's clothing. She was reminded suddenly and strongly that Klaus was, whatever else he was, still very much a twelve-year-old boy.

"You really like this kind of thing, don't you?" she said thoughtfully.

"Yeah," said Klaus. "Is that… okay?"

"It's fine," she said, smiling and shrugging, surprised that her opinion mattered so much. "Do you like dressing like a guy, too?"

"Well… yeah."

"Do you get crushes on guys?"

"… Yeah."

"Do you get crushes on girls?"

"… Yeah."

Iris nodded. "Okay," she said. "Well, feel free to look around. I don't mind." She went purposefully back to flipping through her possible selections. She smiled when she felt Klaus finally venture his way into the womenswear section behind her.

Iris was really nice that day. Klaus knew not all preteen girls would have been so supportive. She let him try on different skirts and dresses in the dressing rooms, insisted he come out to model them for her, and was very supportive and cheerful, telling him each time that he looked very nice no matter how loud or absurd the dress was.

By the end, Klaus felt a fierce kind of attachment and fondness for Iris he hadn't had before.

Normann was their final stop, and it was part store, part art installation (with a flair for all things minimalist). It had different art exhibitions and displays littered throughout its clothing sections, and it also included a water distillery, a theatre, sound studio, and a cinema.

Iris and Klaus walked through the water distillery. People got to watch the vast mechanical process up close and personal, and it actually was kind of interesting. They spend the rest of the afternoon alternating between the theatre, the sound studio, and the cinema, appreciating all the entertainment each section had to offer, sitting or standing together and watching different performances unfold in front of them, whispering to each other excitedly.

It was their first activity, and it was unexpectedly unique and fascinating.

-

For their first afternoon together, Five met Ruby by the waterfront. She immediately grinned and waved so wide half the street stopped to stare at the two of them. Five smirked, shook his head, amused despite himself, and finally lifted his hand up just once in a single wave, other hand casually in his pocket.

They began walking together down towards the waterfront. "Hey, not to make things awkward — because I'm not suggesting we do this," said Ruby quickly. "But I was wondering if you had been hearing the same weird rumor about partners at Oakley that I have."

"What is it?" said Five, puzzled.

"Well, I overheard older students gossiping in a common room the other day, in the dorms?" said Ruby. "They were just having casual conversation. And apparently there's something students call 'the partner clause.' While official partner relationships are forbidden, I've heard that a lot of partners do a 'friends with benefits' kind of thing because they think it furthers their chemistry in artistic performances. The student theory is that the school knows about it, but doesn't do anything — which is why people call it a clause. It's like a clause to the 'don't have a relationship rule' in the eyes of a lot of the older students.

"I'm mentioning it because I wanted to get the awkward rumor out of the way right now, and also because I thought it was weird."

"It is strange," Five agreed, staring. "I doubt we'll ever need it. But it might provide some… interesting insight into some of our classmates," he added, his tone clearly dubious.

"Yeah, I'm going to be looking at every partner pair wondering if they're fucking on the side now," joked Ruby. They shared a slight laugh and the air cleared into something warmer and more casual again.

They got to the waterfront — the ocean was a steely grayish-blue with choppy white foam under the silvery skies — and they walked through the bustling outdoor section of Pike's Place Market, a series of stalls and tents that sold everything from glittering sea glass jewelry to fish hissing on grills and fryers. Through the bustling and shouting crowds of people, they finally found a staircase leading underground and they followed it down to —

"The first activity," said Ruby proudly. "Seattle's underground shopping mall. Home to some of the most famous concept stores in the world."

"Whoa…" said Five, impressed despite himself.

The underground shopping mall was a long, dark underground stone tunnel, wide enough to encompass a walkway and shops on either side. The air was cool and damp, the scent of the sea breeze strong, and the tunnel was lit solely with artificial lighting and the gleam of neon shop lights from seemingly hundreds of sprawling, glass-fronted boutique-like stores. Crowds of people bustled through the underground shopping mall, going both ways all in one great mass. Tiny stands off to the sides sold newspapers for cheap.

"Shall we get started?" said Ruby, sounding pleased.

They descended the steps and began passing through the underground shopping mall. "Let's go in here," said Ruby randomly, feeling whimsical, and Five followed her into a store chosen at random called Chez Moi.

At first glance Chez Moi looked like the kind of cool apartment an urban twenty-something who played the guitar would live in. And that, Five realized, was exactly the point. Chez Moi was, of all things, a high-end furniture store. But it had an actual bathroom, bedroom, and living room where each piece with a price tag was set in its natural environment, like someone actually lived here.

Ruby walked up to a nearby salesclerk. _"Does_ someone actually live here?" she asked at last, bolder and more openly interested than Five would have been. He listened curiously.

"Yes," said the clerk. "The owner." She walked away to help another customer.

Ruby turned in delight back to Five. _"He lives in his furniture store,"_ she hissed excitedly, and Five grinned despite himself.

"That is dedication," he admitted.

They spent a long time sitting in different rooms of Chez Moi, pretending to do everything from making dinner in the kitchen to having a conversation in the living room over the television. When they got to the bathroom, Ruby grinned and then whispered in Five's ear, her breath hot and tickling and sweetly scented, "We should mime shower sex."

Five immediately went beet-red, and cursed himself for every second of it.

Ruby laughed in delight, which strangely was just kind of arousing. "Easily embarrassed," she said in delight. "Oh, this is going to be _fun."_

"Great," said Five, deadpan, but he was amused despite himself.

After Chez Moi, their next stop was at a place called Avoca. Technically, Avoca was a mini department store, but a busy one bursting with color. It carried a great deal of vintage and antique items crowded on little shelves, and Ruby spent an inordinately long time delighting over those. Five waited patiently. But Avoca also had a kid toy and clothes section, a fashion section, a homewares section that Ruby also browsed a great deal through, and then a food hall and cafe where Five and Ruby sat at a little table and had lunch. Ruby waved her hands expressively and chatted about all the fascinating things she'd seen, and Five listened. Ruby filled the space around her with warmth and sound in a way that somehow never felt abrasive. Five's private life was usually silent and solitary, so shopping with Ruby felt… nice, he realized in surprise.

Their final stop was an import chain from Tokyo called Daikanyama T-site. A neon-light lit hipster mecca, it was an expansive, world-famous bookstore with a great music selection and a service for monogramming gifts. Here, not only Ruby but Five were finally in their element. They both spent a solid hour and a half wandering through the books section, paging through books and making selections and purchases. Then Ruby went off to the hipster section while Five flipped through the music selection.

They bought what they wanted, and then sat in the attached Anjin lounge. They couldn't have any of the cocktails, but they could sit and talk. Since it was their main point of interest, mostly they talked about books. Here for the first time Five contributed to the conversation, and Ruby was a fascinating, intelligent conversationalist. Five got so caught up he wouldn't even realize he'd done it until much later on when he was alone again.

It was their first activity, and it was unexpectedly unique and fascinating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not usually make author's notes, but this clarification deserved one. Despite loving Harry Potter, I refuse to stand by J.K. Rowling's transphobia. Just as in canon, my Klaus will be a gender-fluid, pansexual he/them. Iris will be supportive of him, partly because it's in her nature and partly because that is exactly what I would expect from one of my female heroines.
> 
> It would be strange to lose any readers over this. (If you have issues with gay rights, why are you watching The Umbrella Academy?) So I do this not as a point of bravery, or because I expect praise, but as a point of principle. I felt the statement had to be made.


	5. Feelings

Chapter Five: Feelings

"Activity two," said Iris in satisfaction, standing in the shop doorway beside Klaus. "An old-fashioned sweets and ice cream shop."

The place around them was covered in pink and blue, from the pink and blue speckled floor to the pink tables and cups and the blue countertops. There was a long ice cream bar, complete with a station behind it where old-fashioned, hand-mixed milkshakes were made. Then there was an entire second section of the shop devoted just to sweets and candy, everything in round glass jars cram-jammed full of different kinds of sweets, a dispenser below each kind of sweet. There were little bags off to the side and people could fill their bags with any sweet they liked. In the center, near the windows, were little tables with chairs to sit at.

Iris and Klaus made for the candy first, filling their bags with whatever they liked. Klaus picked out black jacks, fizzy bubblegum bottles, and jelly buttons. The jelly buttons were technically called "spogs," and he couldn't stop snickering for a good five minutes afterward, periodically droning, _"Spog,"_ and making Iris giggle.

Iris picked out rhubarb and custard, snowies, and sherbet pips. Then they made for the ice cream. The ice cream was available in cones and cups — "but honestly," said Iris, "why go to an old-fashioned sweets shop if you're not going to have a hand-mixed milkshake?"

So they each chose a milkshake in their favorite flavor — Iris of the bubblegum variety, Klaus of the wild berry flavor. They sat at a little table, snacking on candy and sipping at their hand-mixed milkshakes, and Klaus — who had never really gotten to go anywhere or do anything before — just felt _good._

Pretty soon they were so sugar high that they went from "good" to "great." After they left the shop, Klaus kind of assumed he would be the wilder one high on sugar. He was dead wrong. Iris ran the streets screaming like a _maniac._ It was _awesome._ Klaus found himself laughing and running after her, chasing her down the Seattle city streets that he was in too much of a hazy blur to really register.

They made it back to the dormitory entrance hall at Oakley right before they crashed. They ended up heaped together on a sofa in the entrance hall, and they slept against each other pretty soundly for a good couple of hours.

Klaus woke up at some point, feeling a bit groggy, and he realized Iris's head was against his shoulder and his chest, her body curled contentedly into his. His cheek had been curled into the top of her head. She was very warm. He could smell her skin, her hair, her perfume. He just sat like that and looked down at her for a while. She was sound asleep, and her nose kept wrinkling as she slept, like she was a little rabbit. It was fucking adorable. Nothing and no one had any God-given right to be that cute.

Klaus just sat there and watched her, a peculiar feeling filling him.

Finally, she slowly came awake, giving a little stretch, yawning, blinking her eyes open sleepily. She looked up at him — and gave a soft, sweet, sleepy smile. A peculiar vice wound its way around Klaus's heart and all of a sudden he couldn't breathe, but it felt good and that was very confusing.

Suddenly, Iris realized what she was doing and she sat up quickly, beet-red, flushing and staring down at her lap. "Sorry," she squeaked.

Klaus smiled; he couldn't help himself. "It's okay," he joked gently. "You don't snore. I might have a different answer if you snored."

Iris smiled despite herself.

-

"Activity two," said Ruby in satisfaction, standing in the shop doorway beside Five. "An old-fashioned sweets and ice cream shop."

The place around them was covered in pink and gleaming gold, from the gleaming gold accents of the counters to the pink tables and chairs. There was a long ice cream bar, complete with a station behind it where old-fashioned, hand-mixed milkshakes were made. Then there was an entire second section of the shop devoted just to sweets and candy, everything in round glass jars cram-jammed full of different kinds of sweets, a dispenser below each kind of sweet. There were little bags off to the side and people could fill their bags with any sweet they liked. In the center, near the windows, were little tables with chairs to sit at.

Ruby and Five made for the candy first, filling their bags with whatever they liked. Five chose white chocolate fish and chips, pineapple cubes, and black licorice sticks.

"You weren't kidding," said Ruby cheerfully. "You have bizarre taste in food."

"Thank you," said Five dryly.

Ruby chose fizzy cherry cola bottles, fizz wiz strawberry popping candy, and sweet peanuts. "I love that fruity little party going on in my mouth," she said matter of factly. "But I also like sweet and salty things." Five felt a burst of fondness that came from nowhere and he wasn't sure what to do with it.

Then they made for the ice cream. "I don't know about you, but I'm getting a cone," said Ruby enthusiastically. "It's the riskiest option. I love that little thrill of wondering whether the ice cream is going to fall off the cone."

"In that case, I'm having a cup," said Five.

"What, you're not going to live a little?" she demanded.

"No," said Five flatly. "I'm dead." Ruby laughed, despite herself.

They each chose their favorite flavor — Ruby of the chocolate espresso variety, Five a scoop of each, one lemon meringue and one key lime flavor. They sat at a little table, snacking on candy and eating their ice cream, and Five — who had never really gotten to go anywhere or do anything before — was still surprised by how _good_ this felt.

"Are we going to stop eating before we get sugar high?" Ruby asked him at one point.

His eyes narrowed; he might already be a little sugar high. "I have eaten sweets until I've _puked,"_ he said daringly and playfully.

Ruby grinned. "All right!" she laughed. "You're on!"

It was a mark of how closeted Five was about his powers that as he chased Ruby around the Seattle city streets that he was in too much of a hazy blur to really register in the aftermath, she shrieking and laughing in equal measure ahead of him the whole way, he still didn't use his powers to catch up with her. Finally, back in the dormitory entrance hall, he caught her around the waist and, shrieking, they both collapsed into a nearby armchair.

Then they crashed and, after a few minutes of squirming and play-wrestling, that was pretty much how they fell asleep.

Five woke up at one point, feeling a bit groggy, and he slowly realized that Ruby was basically curled up in his lap. It was an extremely "hit over the head with preteen hormones" kind of position, because one wide, luscious hip and thigh were curled into his groin area, her soft, sleeping breaths and cherry lips were pressed to his neck, and he could feel her breathing in and out against his skin, could smell her skin, her hair, her perfume, feel the warmth of her body against his.

Five was pretty good at emotional and hormonal self-denial, but that part of his brain seemed to have shut down, as had most of the other parts. Save for one. The part of his brain documenting how fucking _good_ this made his body feel was definitely very present.

He tried to move — and she curled her arms tighter around his waist in her sleep, in a deceptively strong grip, and held him there. Shit.

Then, suddenly: "I don't want to give the cheeseburgers to the truck driver."

Five blinked. He stared down at Ruby — and then slowly, despite himself, he smiled, an actually warm, soft smile that had no place being on his face. But he couldn't help himself.

Ruby talked in her sleep.

Five sat there and listened to her for a while, much as he had at the mall the other day when they were both awake. There seemed to be ten cheeseburgers, a monster truck driver, and a massive pit of lava involved in whatever she was dreaming about.

Finally, she slowly came awake, eyelids and dark lashes fluttering against the skin of his neck. She blinked — and then jumped awake, staring at him with big, owlish eyes.

Five was apparently more of a sap than he'd thought he was, because a vice wound its way around his heart and his first thought was how cute that was. He'd die before he admitted it out loud, but her big, owl-eyed look had some instinctive appeal he was trying not to examine too closely. He decided he would try to make it happen again.

This, he told himself, was a completely platonic and not sexual at all decision.

Finally, Ruby grinned, still a bit sleepy. "Gave you a nice show, did I?" she said slyly.

Five let nothing show on his face. "You know, you talk in your sleep?"

"Aww, two shows," she said. "You're welcome."

Despite himself, Five gave a smirk that was a little bit too much like a smile.

-

"Do you know, I've never actually studied Shakespeare?" said Iris, as she and Klaus stood in the crowds in front of the erected wooden stage. They were at a beautiful green park, fulfilling their next activity — watching an outdoor concert, show, or performance at a local park.

"I did," said Klaus wryly, "but not by choice. We were homeschooled. Our Dad made us study it growing up."

"How intensive was it?" said Iris curiously.

"I can recite whole passages," said Klaus dryly. "It's incredibly nerdy of me. Luckily for you, I know enough to have picked a performance of Macbeth. Out of all the really popular plays — and not the obscure ones — Macbeth and Hamlet are probably the best."

Iris was delighted. "Can you recite passages to me while they're performing?"

"It would be rude," said Klaus with a wide smile.

"Well then keep quiet about it."

Klaus laughed despite himself. "You really want me to do this?" he said, amused.

"Yeah!" she insisted, smiling.

So when the play started up on the outdoor stage before them, as they were standing in the crowds watching Klaus leaned over and began whispering lines in Iris's ear. Iris, young and naive, was surprised by how sexual the act felt. He would lean over and begin whispering, his breath on her ear, his lilting lines in low, measured, even tones, and there was a hint of playfulness to his voice that left Iris slightly flushed and breathless.

She pretended to focus on the stage and thought about telling him to stop. She didn't.

And it was, of course, because she didn't _really_ want to.

-

"Why do I _have_ to dance with you again?" said Five.

"Two reasons," said Ruby proudly. They were standing in the crowds in front of an erected wooden stage. They were at a beautiful green park, fulfilling their next activity — watching an outdoor concert, show, or performance at a local park. "First, it will be good practice for when you're required to dance with me during classes at Oakley. But second and more importantly.

"You're the one who decided we go to a local folk music concert. Since you made that decision, I get to make a decision. And I want you to dance with me." She grinned. "Come on, it's a concert, no one will be looking. Other people will probably be doing the same thing. It'll be _fine."_

Five looked into her smiling, open face — and sighed. "Okay," he admitted reluctantly, smiling slightly despite himself.

The minute the music started, Ruby took fierce hold of her opportunity, grabbing Five's hands and beginning to dance with him in the crowds standing around the stage. She expected him — with some amount of hidden glee — not to be very good.

And she was surprised. He was great.

Her surprise must have shown on her face, because Five was smirking as he spun her around for the first time and then pulled her in close to him. She could feel his hard muscles, the warmth of his body, and he smirked down into her face, smug and wholly infuriating. Ruby was filled with so many different things, she couldn't even tell what most of them were.

"How do you know how to do this?" she demanded in a murmur, and then he had spun her back out to dance with her again.

He spun her again and when he pulled her back around and in close to him, he murmured in her ear, in a low voice that gave her a slight, embarrassing thrill, "Our Dad made us take dance lessons when we were kids. Thought it might be useful. I know how to dance. I just don't like doing it."

He spun her back out to dance with him again, and Ruby watched him dance in — for once, and rare for her — impressed, respectful, surprised silence.


	6. Sort of About the Food

Chapter Six: Sort of About the Food

Klaus and Iris smiled, slightly shy and nervous, at each other over the dinner table in the restaurant. There were green coke bottles tucked away in catacomb configurations in the restaurant around them, the carpeting below them was deep red, and the lighting overhead was a dim golden glow. On the table between them, there were lit candles. Both were slightly dressed up for the occasion.

Klaus was wearing a complex, old-fashioned military jacket and skintight laced jeans. Iris was wearing a clingy little green dress. Each thought that the other looked very nice, but was still just that little bit too shy and inexperienced to say so.

"Welcome to Mama Rosa's," said the waitress as they sat down. "Do you need some time with the menu?"

"Uh, we're actually here for an assignment," Klaus admitted. "We had to go to an Italian restaurant and eat just for the desserts — as many different kinds as we wanted."

"Well, I can think of worse assignments!" said the waitress, her eyebrows rising, and they smiled and nodded. "All right. The dessert menu is tucked in between you. I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

They each took out a menu and started browsing. "Would you be okay with the cannoli?" said Klaus unexpectedly.

"That'd be great," said Iris, nodding. "I'd heard of cannoli before. This is one I haven't heard of, though — it's called Zuppa Inglese, a dessert from central Italy consisting of sponge, liqueur, lemon egg custard, and a fruit compote."

"Yeah, I see it," said Klaus slowly, looking through the menu. He brightened, smiled, and looked up at her. Iris's breath caught and then she cursed herself. "Sure. You want to start with those?" He closed the menu.

"That sounds good," said Iris with an effort of a smile.

A few minutes later, they were sitting eating with the desserts between them.

"So," Iris said, "my sister and I both attend Oakley, and we both knew we would have long restaurant-style meal types of activities. We looked up some questions together to keep from there being any awkward silences during dinner."

"Sure," said Klaus, shrugging as he ate. "Go for it. I'll answer, then you will."

"The first question is kind of broad," said Iris thoughtfully. "I was wondering if we could talk about where we each were from in more detail."

Klaus chewed as he considered this. "Well," he said at last, "you already know a lot of it. I had a very sheltered, controlled, dysfunctional childhood with a big emphasis on fighting. I had a Dad who was shitty, a Mom who was not, and several siblings. I grew up in New York City.

"I guess I could tell you this," he decided at last. And then he faithfully repeated the story he and Five had come up with, in case anybody asked. "Our Dad was this eccentric rich guy — former world traveler. He owned this big mansion in New York City. And he got this weird idea in his head that he wanted to adopt a bunch of kids so that they could ape this very famous adopted family who also lived in New York City.

"So the famous adopted family is called the Umbrella Academy. The year we were born, 43 ordinary women around the world gave birth. This was strange only in that none of them had been pregnant when the day first began. All those kids grew up to have weird abilities. I know it sounds strange, so I swear, later you can Google it. Well this eccentric millionaire named Sir Reginald Hargreeves decided to adopt as many of these kids as he could and make this child crimefighting team out of them, The Umbrella Academy. They also grew up in New York City. And our Dad was _obsessed_ with them — to the point where we have all the same names.

"And that's why fighting was such a big emphasis while I was growing up. It was because Dad was trying to ape the Umbrella Academy."

"That's so weird," said Iris, mystified and fascinated. "It must be so strange, spending your entire childhood trying to be someone else."

"My childhood was a unique experience," said Klaus dryly, and truthfully. "Anyway, because of all that, each of my siblings was a child adopted from a different part of the world. As I said, I came from Germany. And there were seven of us in all, just like in the original Umbrella Academy, and caring for us was made somewhat easier by the fact that our Dad was filthy fucking rich. Our Mom was our maid and our nanny. We had a butler we considered an uncle. Raising seven kids is admittedly easier when you live in a mansion."

"I can imagine," said Iris, her eyebrows rising. "Well, I don't have anything near as exciting as that. You already know that my parents died in a car crash, so me and my fraternal twin sister were raised by an aunt, uncle, and cousin in England.

"We lived in this well to do little corporate suburb on the outskirts of Surrey. My aunt was very into anything that made her feel feminine and classy, from French opera music to ballet to elaborate baked puddings and classical novels. She loved her garden. My uncle was a businessman, the director of a firm that sold shipments of drills to hardware stores. He loved very old jazz, and he loved action-adventure movies and TV shows; he was very attached to his car and he had very decided opinions on everything, from politics and finances to the finer points of fancy dress. My cousin was obsessed with video games and television shows, and he was also on the school wrestling team. They were a kind of family, I suppose — but not the very loving kind. Most of my love growing up, I got from my sister.

"My next question had to do with what might be called 'the ideal life.' What I mean is this. When you picture an ideal life, for you — what do you think of?" She sat back.

Klaus thought about this. "Excitement, adventure," he said, "but also love and kindness. Some fine intermixing of the two. A way to express my intellectual thoughts, but also a way to get out energy physically. And feeling close to other people — that would be a big one for me.

"What about you?"

"I would love to live somewhere that has elements of nature," said Iris first. "I would love to be creative in some part of my life. I would love to be healing in some part of my life. And I would want to feel close to people who supported me — people who loved me unconditionally, just for who I was.

"Next we get to a big, general philosophical and religious question: What do you believe?" she asked.

Klaus considered this. "What do I believe…?" he said slowly. "Well, first, I'm agnostic. I don't really know what I believe. I read about different belief systems all the time, and they all rattle around in my head, but because I'm so obsessed I've never been able to decide on one. Obviously I believe in life after death. I have to. I don't know what I believe beyond that."

"I believe," said Iris slowly, "in the presence of benevolence — of a higher power, and a karma-based belief system where not only your bad actions but your good actions always find a way back to you in the end.

"How do you like to spend your mornings? How do you spend your mornings?"

"I get up pretty early, but I'm completely insensate to the world until I've had coffee or tea," Klaus admitted. "I like having sedate mornings. I read a lot in the mornings, when I have free time; it wakes my brain up. That said, no matter how early I get up I somehow always manage to be late, so more typically my mornings get kind of chaotic when I have something to do."

"I get up early, and when I have a free morning I love cooking and baking," said Iris. "I love making elaborate brunches and breakfasts — in part because I always get to eat what I make at the end. On a morning when I have to get going really quick, I keep a supply of blueberry muffins and I usually just grab one on the way out the door.

"This is a much deeper and more complicated one — potentially, because I guess you could just list a phobia. What are you most afraid of?"

Klaus sat back and thought about this. "Not being able to escape," he decided at last. "I know that's general, but…"

"No, it's honest," said Iris, shrugging, and Klaus felt a burst of fondness because that was blissfully nonjudgmental of her. "I most fear… dying alone. That's really deep and kind of morbid. But it's also true."

"I can't see that happening," Klaus argued. "I don't understand a person who wouldn't want to be around you."

Slowly, despite herself, Iris smiled.

-

Ruby and Five shifted, slightly shy and nervous, over the dinner restaurant table across from each other. They were on an outside restaurant terrace looking out over the glittering lights of nighttime Seattle. Ivy, gardens, and flowering plants bloomed along the terrace around the tables. On the table between them, there were lit candles. Both were slightly dressed up for the occasion.

Five wore a casual dress black dinner jacket over a T-shirt, and black slacks. Iris thought privately that he looked very classy, rather sophisticated for someone their age — not a minus for her. Ruby wore a cozy little deep-red sweater dress that hugged her luscious curves. Five knew his eyes were spending more time on Ruby's body than they should, and he was half-afraid she would notice, but his eyes just kept passing over all those wonderful, dimpled curves in high-definition. What was wrong with him?

"Welcome to Anthony's," said the waitress as they sat down. "Do you need some time with the menu?"

"Uh, we're actually here for an assignment," Ruby admitted. "We had to go to an Italian restaurant and eat just for the desserts — as many different kinds as we wanted."

"Well, I can think of worse assignments!" said the waitress, her eyebrows rising, and they smiled and nodded. "All right. The dessert menu is tucked in between you. I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

They each took out a menu and started browsing. "Tiramisu is always good," said Five unexpectedly. "I used to get that when we went out to dinner at classy restaurants with Dad."

"Sure," said Ruby curiously, "I'm open to tiramisu. Here's one I've never heard of, look: Bonet, cocoa, spirit, and hazelnuts made into an amaretto biscuit."

"That'll work," said Five decisively, closing the menu. "Should we start with those?"

"Sure," Ruby said.

A few minutes later, they were sitting eating with the desserts between them.

"So," Ruby said, "my sister and I both attend Oakley, and we both knew we would have long restaurant-style meal types of activities. We looked up some questions together to keep from there being any awkward silences during dinner."

"Sure," said Five, shrugging as he ate. "Go for it. I'll answer, then you will."

"The first question is kind of broad," said Ruby thoughtfully. "I was wondering if we could talk about where we each were from in more detail."

Five chewed as he considered this. "Well," he said at last, "you already know a lot of it. I had a very sheltered, controlled, dysfunctional childhood with a big emphasis on fighting. I had a Dad who was shitty, a Mom who was not, and several siblings. I grew up in New York City.

"I guess I could tell you this," he decided at last. And then he faithfully repeated the story he and Klaus had come up with, in case anybody asked. "Our Dad was this eccentric rich guy — former world traveler. He owned this big mansion in New York City. And he got this weird idea in his head that he wanted to adopt a bunch of kids so that they could ape this very famous adopted family who also lived in New York City.

"So the famous adopted family is called the Umbrella Academy. The year we were born, 43 ordinary women around the world gave birth. This was strange only in that none of them had been pregnant when the day first began. All those kids grew up to have weird abilities. I know it sounds strange, so I swear, later you can Google it. Well this eccentric millionaire named Sir Reginald Hargreeves decided to adopt as many of these kids as he could and make this child crimefighting team out of them, The Umbrella Academy. They also grew up in New York City. And our Dad was _obsessed_ with them — to the point where we have all the same names.

"And that's why fighting was such a big emphasis while I was growing up. It was because Dad was trying to ape the Umbrella Academy."

"That's so weird," said Ruby, mystified and fascinated. "It must be so strange, spending your entire childhood trying to be someone else."

"My childhood was a unique experience," said Five dryly, and truthfully. "Anyway, because of all that, each of my siblings was a child adopted from a different part of the world. I came from a mixed Indian-Romanian family in Romania — which is why my skin is so tanned and my features are kind of dark and broad. And there were seven of us in all, just like in the original Umbrella Academy, and caring for us was made somewhat easier by the fact that our Dad was filthy fucking rich. Our Mom was our maid and our nanny. We had a butler we considered an uncle. Raising seven kids is admittedly easier when you live in a mansion."

"I can imagine," said Ruby, her eyebrows rising. "Well, I don't have anything near as exciting as that. You already know that my parents died in a car crash, so me and my fraternal twin sister were raised by an aunt, uncle, and cousin in England.

"We lived in this well to do little corporate suburb on the outskirts of Surrey. My aunt was very into anything that made her feel feminine and classy, from French opera music to ballet to elaborate baked puddings and classical novels. She loved her garden. My uncle was a businessman, the director of a firm that sold shipments of drills to hardware stores. He loved very old jazz, and he loved action-adventure movies and TV shows; he was very attached to his car and he had very decided opinions on everything, from politics and finances to the finer points of fancy dress. My cousin was obsessed with video games and television shows, and he was also on the school wrestling team. They were a kind of family, I suppose — but not the very loving kind. Most of my love growing up, I got from my sister.

"My next question had to do with what might be called 'the ideal life.' What I mean is this. When you picture an ideal life, for you — what do you think of?" She sat back.

"Something where I get to do research in isolation — something involving math or science," said Five slowly. "A quiet home in a place with very few neighbors, maybe by a lake. And at least one person I'm very close to, to keep things from getting lonely. Maybe a woodworking shop in the basement."

"I would need a wide selection of friends," said Ruby, "and somewhere I could go dancing. I don't know if I actually have too many wishes beyond that. I know that sounds odd, but I'm pretty adaptable — I can fit myself into almost anyplace and anywhere, thrive there, and still end up being myself at the end of the day. I would guess ambition is important to me. I would want to do something with my life.

"Next we get to a big, general philosophical and religious question: What do you believe?" she asked.

"I… believe in life after death," said Five slowly. He had to — Klaus's power had made sure of that. "I don't know if I believe in much else, though. I don't believe in a benevolent higher power, or in any deeper order to the chaos of the universe. I read a lot of philosophy, but I'm a hardened cynic — and probably an atheist."

"I know I believe in something," said Ruby. "I don't know what it is — maybe I'll figure that out as I get older. But I think I believe in some kind of structure and order. And in _something_ being beyond this. I don't know if I've ever looked up at the night sky and thought, 'Well, I guess nothing made this.' You know?

"How do you like to spend your mornings? How do you spend your mornings?"

"I'm up at sunrise. Coffee and contemplation," said Five immediately. "Simple and easy."

"I'm an early riser, too," said Ruby with a grin. "And according to my sister I have a truly obnoxious amount of energy in the morning. I like watching the morning news. I don't know why, exactly. It's just a comforting bit of human contact and routine.

"This is a much deeper and more complicated one — potentially, because I guess you could just list a phobia. What are you most afraid of?"

"Really going for the jugular, aren't you," said Five dryly.

"Always," said Ruby with a grin.

"I am afraid of… failure," Five decided at last. "Of any kind. It's why I'm an overachiever. It's also why I don't put myself out there."

"That's a good answer," said Ruby, impressed. "I am afraid of… rejection. It's why, in spite of the fact that I'm so cheerful, my defenses are usually so high.

"And I haven't gotten any of that from you." She gave a softer, warmer, shyer smile, and Five's heart gave a sort of polka dance it had never done before. "So thank you."

-

The next activity was an outdoor picnic. It was a very general prompt, and after that everything was up to them.

Klaus and Iris had their picnic over a blanket beside a rushing river. They had chosen an around-the-world theme, and brought with them a picnic hamper full of taco salad, German potato salad, Polish sausage, and Italian cookies.

They had chosen a river that had a petting zoo nearby, so after they finished eating they got to walk over to the petting zoo and pet things like miniature horses and sheep.

"You know, this is a normal kid activity, but I've never even been to the zoo before," Klaus mused, smiling as he petted the animals; it felt oddly innocent and childlike.

Iris smiled over at him. "Neither had I," she admitted in return.

-

The next activity was an outdoor picnic. It was a very general prompt, and after that everything was up to them.

Five and Ruby had their picnic at a little table under a gazebo by a local lake. They had chosen a Mediterranean theme, and brought with them a picnic hamper full of chicken souvlaki, Greek salad, grilled salmon, and red pepper hummus.

They had chosen a gazebo that had a particularly well-recommended walking path nearby, so after they finished eating they began a slow and sedate, winding walk by the lake. Ruby insisted on a lot of things Five would never have done otherwise — from feeding the ducks at the lake, to stopping to look at particular bushes full of beautiful wild flowers along the walking path so that she could delight in awe over what rare type of gardening flower they were looking at.

Five stopped, participated, and listened willingly enough, but they also went through long, peaceful, sedate spaces where neither of them said anything. This was the first time Five realized that Ruby could sit in peaceful silence when she wanted to.

"This is nice," she said warmly at one point, smiling softly.

"It is," Five admitted in mild surprise.

He was feeling himself doing something he had once thought he would never do with anyone outside Vanya. He was feeling himself settling in, getting fond and comfortable. That should have felt dangerous.

But Five looked over once at Ruby and her warm soft smile, and it really didn't.


	7. Art Talk, and Other Kinds

Chapter Seven: Art Talk, and Other Kinds

When Klaus and Iris entered one of the huge, crisp white art galleries Seattle was famous for, Iris already had a schedule set out for them.

"Since our next activity was an art gallery," she said, sounding pleased, "I decided we should probably do something more exciting than just walk around, studying paintings. We'll do plenty of that at Oakley, I imagine. This summer is about having fun and getting to know one another. So I looked up some major interactive, installation-style art gallery pieces going on right now across Seattle.

"Our first stop is _Yard_ by Alan Kaprow."

Yard actually took place in an outside courtyard adjacent to the gallery. Klaus and Iris walked out there, and found it covered in hundreds of used tires. They were scattered along across the ground, piled in strange ways in odd corners. Klaus could see people trying to step their way through the yard full of tires.

"We have to… get across?" he said hesitantly, curious.

"Yes," said Iris, beaming. "That's one of the points of the exhibit."

It ended up being strangely fun. They had a good time laughing, grabbing hands as they tripped over themselves trying to get across the constant mounds of used tires, at times climbing or crawling.

"This is a good workout," Klaus puffed out at one point as he climbed.

"He complains and yet he's enjoying himself," said Iris with a grin in her voice, and Klaus laughed breathlessly.

"Our next stop," Iris puffed out, flushed pink and grinning at the end — Klaus felt an odd well-up of teenage attraction and had to do his best to quash it — "is _the event of a thread_ by Ann Hamilton."

The event of a thread took place in a huge, vast room in the art gallery itself. There were countless people on huge adult swings littered across the room, stretching out their feet and swinging back and forth. A billowing white curtain separated these people neatly in half, and yet more people were lying underneath the curtain with their eyes closed, the curtain billowing back and forth from the wind and movement of the swingers on either side of them.

"You can swing, and you can meditate," Iris explained. "I thought we'd do a little of both."

Klaus had a strange little smile on his face. "When I imagined having fun as a teenager, I never thought of this," he admitted. "And it's… kind of amazing?"

They sat and swung together on twin swings, pushing themselves back and forth across the huge, open, airy space of the art gallery, hearing the curtain billow behind them. It was a strangely exultant feeling. Then they laid underneath the curtain to meditate — which, luckily, Iris had already taught Klaus how to do.

As he lay beside Iris, eyes closed, hearing the curtain billow above him, everything went quiet for Klaus and he was lulled into a strange sort of calm… feeling Iris's warmth, feeling her breathe beside him…

-

When Five and Ruby entered one of the huge, crisp white art galleries Seattle was famous for, Ruby already had a schedule set out for them.

"Since our next activity was an art gallery," she said, sounding pleased, "I decided we should probably do something more exciting than just walk around, studying paintings. We'll do plenty of that at Oakley, I imagine. This summer is about having fun and getting to know one another. So I looked up some major interactive, installation-style art gallery pieces going on right now across Seattle.

"Our first stop is _Pixel_ by Jamie Zigelbaum."

Pixel ended up being a vast digital wall full of electric cubes. People walked up, using human touch to activate different cubes and watching the touched cubes glow in different colors, patterns, and designs.

"The point was to make the world of digital screens and pixels a tangible object," Ruby explained in a whisper, because art galleries, Five was beginning to realize, were strangely quiet, almost holy places.

They had a good time with Pixel, walking up and trying to make different colors, patterns and designs by pressing their hands to the cubes. Five took the assignment in a methodical way — memorizing where different colors and patterns were through experimentation, then working on making vast, intricate designs.

Ruby had a different method. She plastered her hands to as many different wild colors as she could, grinning like a maniac the entire time.

At the end, when they had stood back and had their fun with Pixel, Ruby said, "Our next stop is _In Orbit_ by Tomas Saraceno."

In Orbit took place in a vast room of the art gallery. And it was, Five could admit to himself, visually pretty amazing.

Different layers of string fishnet netting were hung across the entirety of the room, above the floor. There were not only different layers of netting, but sometimes entire balls scattered across the space, a bit like a spider's web. These were also made of netting and people could sit on top of them. People were, in fact, walking across the entirety of all the different layers of netting, up above the floor. That seemed to be the point.

"Hope you like heights," said Ruby with a grin, and then she ran up the stairs to jump out onto the first layer of netting with a grin on her face. Five smirked, shook his head, followed.

They ended up playing a strange game of tag, chasing each other around laughing over the different layers of netting, tripping periodically. Then they sat on top of one of the massive bubbles, cross-legged across from each other, and Ruby taught him a hand-clapping game she had learned in school, one of those little things Five had missed as a kid.

It was, to his eternal surprise, the most fun he had had in a long time.

-

"Just trust me," said Klaus, as he and Five flicked through the racks of the downtown Seattle boutique filled with suits and tuxes, _"nobody_ looks good in a tux. That stupid little bow-tie is sexy on no one. Do a suit."

"Well, I would say you're a definitive opinion on very few subjects, Klaus. But I would suppose fashion is one of them," Five mused.

"All I heard was a compliment," Klaus declared. "Man, look at all this black. Why do women get to be all colorful when they dress up, and men are always stuck with _black?"_

"What about this one?" said Five, pulling something off the rack. Klaus turned around, a scathing retort ready on his tongue, and —

"… That's… actually good," he said in a tone of endless surprise. Five was showing him an all-white suit. "Yeah, there's blue in my eyes, so maybe if I pair it with this tie…" Klaus pulled a sky blue tie off of a nearby suit and put it against the white suit. "That could work!" he said brightly.

"Well, unlike you, I'm extremely boring, so I'm going with black," said Five dryly. "It's sophisticated. It'll work." He handed the white suit to Klaus, picked a black suit off the rack — and paused. He glanced over at Klaus's tie — which was a different color than his suit. He thought of Ruby — her cherry red lips, the beautiful deep-red sweater dress that had shown off all her curves in perfect definition. "… How do you think a red tie would go against this?" he asked unexpectedly, hard to read, still holding the black suit in his hands.

"Oh, a deep, ruby red would look great on that," said Klaus enthusiastically.

For some reason, Five's lips quirked into a smirk. "All right," he said. "Help me pick one out."

As they were standing on footstools surrounded by mirrors, the suits being fitted and pinned to the right length by attendants, Five asked, "So what are you and your partner doing? The assignment was something at a theater or an opera house."

"Ballet at an opera house," Klaus declared. "Iris is obsessed with the stuff. What about you?"

"Ruby and I decided a play at a theater would probably be the most painless option," Five said wryly.

"You know, that Ruby's really good for you," said Klaus unexpectedly.

"How can you tell?" said Five incredulously. "You've never met her! She's not, but she could have been a horrible person."

"Nah," said Klaus. "Not only is she getting you to add color to your wardrobe, but you're actually offering me ideas and initiating conversations with me now. You'd never have done that before."

Five paused in surprise — because, admittedly, for once Klaus was right.

"What's she like?" said Klaus. "Ruby."

Five wondered what to say, casting around in his mind. "She… is a mix of feminine and masculine. She has fight training and loves sports, but she also loves sad love stories, baking, and all things vintage. She's a reader and a writer, like me. She's fun, and lively, and friendly, and social, and fierce — all the things I'm not with other people. She has all of them. She's very… warm," he finished explaining, feeling strangely awkward.

"Aww. She's tons of fun and you're no fun at all," said Klaus with a grin. "She completes you."

"Stop quoting animated movies at me," Five quipped, and Klaus laughed.

"Oh, yeah," he said. _"Definitely_ a good influence."

"So what about you?" said Five. "What's Iris like?"

Klaus's face softened. "She's very… sweet, and soft, and shy, and patient, and kind. I feel like I have to be nicer around her — you know, because I want to be."

Five nodded. "She's good for you, too, then," he said.

"Yeah, I guess she is," Klaus mused. "She's very artsy and bohemian. She loves nature and animals. She just… makes you feel good. I always feel better when I'm around her.

"And she's interesting. She loves avant-garde art and moody, psychological film pieces."

"Yeah, Ruby has her interesting quirks, too," Five said thoughtfully. "She studies sex academia as a preteen just because she finds it interesting, and she's a chronic flirt." He shook his head fondly. "And… her favorite artist is Frida Kahlo. Which is impressive at any age, but especially as a preteen."

"Iris has also given me some good ideas about my powers. Don't worry, I haven't told her anything," Klaus added quickly at Five's look. "But — well, the one thing I could admit to was that I could see dead people, because that doesn't technically have to be a power. And… she was actually really helpful. She talked me through my fear of the dead in a way that made sense, and she taught me a meditative technique that I can use to make everything… quiet, again. The dead have stopped bothering me since I met Iris."

"Funny enough, Ruby helped, too, and without knowing anything about what she was helping me with," Five admitted. "I said I used to get into fights with Dad all the time, because he wouldn't allow me to do something. And without even knowing what it was, she managed to help. She said that it was all about trying to do the unsafe thing in a smaller, safer, more controlled environment, to get the will and the energy out of me in a safe, productive way. It occurred to me — with time traveling, I could just try a few seconds at a time. Build up from there. Moderation, you know?"

"That's nice," Klaus admitted. "Iris and I can relate on a lot of things, too. She didn't have a much better childhood than I did."

"Neither did Ruby," said Five. "You know, I expected this partner project to suck, but we actually ended up getting really good partners. Maybe that stupid questionnaire thing actually worked."

"Yeah," Klaus admitted in surprise. "I'm… having the time of my life this summer, making up for all those years of things I never got to do growing up. I actually feel like my age. And I know Iris has a lot to do with that."

"I know the feeling," Five mused. "She puts up with the fact that I'm a bit of a dick. She thinks I'm funny, which is generous."

"And, you know what?" said Klaus excitedly. "I admitted to Iris that I like both men's and women's clothes, and I get crushes on both men and women — and she was totally accepting! She even had me try on some dresses and model them for her, and she always told me how nice I looked, no matter how crazy the dress was."

"Considering your standards for what crazy is and isn't, that's generous," said Five frankly, his eyebrows rising. "So… we got good partners."

"We got good partners," Klaus agreed. "Yeah. First time in my entire damn life I've felt lucky."

-

In a different boutique downtown, Ruby and Iris were out shopping together, flicking through racks of dresses. "It's nice of him to agree to go to the ballet with you," said Ruby in amusement, "but you should tell him he only gets full points if he actually looks interested the entire time."

"Oh, I'm not you, I'm not going to tell him that," Iris scolded gently as Ruby snickered. "It was nice of him to agree to go. Let's just leave it at that. Anyway, Klaus is pretty artsy himself, and sophisticated when he wants to be. He's not too bad with stuff like this."

"Klaus, huh?" Ruby mused. "The name sounds familiar. Maybe I've heard it on campus or something. So he's artsy like you?"

"He's… one of the artsiest, most unique people I've ever met," said Iris in surprise. "And he has little things he can do that always manage to surprise me. Do you know, he quoted Shakespeare at me the other day? _Correctly?"_

"My partner's name is Five — I haven't asked why because apparently he doesn't like to talk about it — and he has his surprising moments, too," Ruby admitted with a funny little smile. "He's not very extroverted, but he's more cutting about it than you are, and he doesn't particularly enjoy dancing. I assumed he'd be awful at it. I finally got him to dance with me the other day, and do you know what? He's great!

"It's funny, because he's everything I'd have expected myself not to like in a partner. He's reserved, taciturn, sarcastic, and he'd be the first to insist he has a blackened little shriveled up heart. But he doesn't. He's very loyal, very warm once you get him to open up. He can really be quite lovely when he wants to be."

"Yeah, Klaus surprises me, too," Iris admitted. "He's very playful, troublemaking, extroverted, talkative, wild, crazy, funny, occasionally obnoxious. He's chaotic good, definitely. And I expected him to be a little much for me. He's not. I actually really like him. We're becoming quite good friends. He opens me up very easily; conversation is never a problem around him."

"To unexpected connections," said Ruby, grinning, raising an invisible toast.

"To unexpected connections," said Iris in amusement, clinking an imaginary glass. "Now. Dresses."

"Right," said Ruby, turning back to the racks. "What do I like, what do I like…? Ooh, I love _this,"_ she said suddenly, pulling a deep green mermaid dress off the rack and beaming as she held it up against her body.

"It's very you," Iris agreed. "The cut will hug your curves and the deep, jewel-like emerald shade will suit your coloring, which is very stark. Now, what about me…? This one. What do you think?"

She held up a soft lemonade pink long satin V neckline dress and held it up against her body.

"The soft pink shades will go really nicely with your coloring," said Ruby immediately. "And the sort of delicate V-neckline look will go really well with your body type, seeing as you're so pretty and delicate yourself. With your hair long and loose around you? Yeah. A-plus."

"Excellent," said Iris, pleased. "Let's go get these fitted."

-

Klaus met Iris at a street spot just outside of campus, and in the pool of street lamp light he was standing under, he looked quite dashing. He certainly stood out. Iris smiled and blushed, and when she appeared in the same pool of street-light, Klaus's eyes inadvertently flicked up and down her form. The dress she had chosen displayed mounds of soft, perky, olive-toned breasts and slipped over a tiny, delicate form to rest gracefully on willowy hips and a round little bottom, all running down to slight hints of legs like a dancer's. Her long, soft waves of straight sleek blonde hair fell softly past her shoulders and around her breasts, and she had nothing else but a simple gold chain, a clutch purse, and just a hint of makeup.

"… Wow," said Klaus, whose brain seemed to have stalled. He should probably have said something more sophisticated or even flirtatious, but that was about all he could get out.

Iris smiled, genuinely shy and nervous. "In a good way?" she said hopefully.

"In a… very good way," Klaus insisted, trying to put the bits of his conscious mind back together.

"Thanks." She smiled, ducked her chin, blushed. "You look great, too," she added warmly.

"Thanks," said Klaus dryly. "Dad wasn't good for much, but I've at least done this before." Iris laughed softly. Klaus beamed and held out his arm. "My lady."

She took it, wrinkling her little nose playfully like a rabbit, and that strange vice squeezed its way around Klaus's heart again. He watched her warm, delicate little hand on his arm; it was an odd point of focus as they started walking the streets to the opera house together.

Seattle in the brilliant lights of city night life was even more magnificent than in the daytime. Vast old redbrick buildings squeezed themselves up sloping hills. There were coffee shops and colorful artsy venues on seemingly every street corner. Countless local clubs advertised grunge music — which had started in Seattle — and Seattle was a peculiar city because there were no clearly demarcated "safe" and "unsafe" areas. A sketchy place calling itself a massage parlor and a sex toy shop could exist on the same stretch of roadway as a children's park, a famous venue, and an ice cream parlor.

There were also countless bookshops. Rainy seaside Seattle was known almost as much for its literacy as for its coffee. Starbucks had started in Seattle, and one of the most famous bookshops in the United States was set right in its downtown area.

Oakley was set so firmly in the downtown area that their walk to the opera house was brief. On a main stretch of roadway famous for its massive theaters — both literal and cinematic — they found an arching building, inside of which housed plush red carpets and gold trimming. A stop at the cloakroom and inside the main hall they found countless levels of seats all arching in a semi-circle around a humongous main stage, with distant ceiling rafters arching in brilliant arrays.

They found their seats and settled themselves in. The ballet that Iris had chosen was her absolute favorite — Swan Lake — and from the moment the lights went down, she was in silent raptures. Klaus supposed he could see what she saw. There was a strange kind of beauty to ballet, to watching the graceful dancers twirl around in their intricate, colorful costumes.

But mostly, he watched Iris, a little smile on his face. She was so rarely open with her feelings. It was endearing, watching her fall totally and openly in love with something.

-

Five met Ruby at a street spot just outside of campus, and in the pool of street lamp light he was standing under, he immediately cut a sophisticated James Bond sort of figure. The cut of the black suit suited him; the red tie was surprising and intriguing. "You did well," admitted Ruby with a grin as she walked up to him.

Five shrugged and smirked. "Dad was big on anything that made us look rich," he admitted in return. "It helps that I've done this before."

Then Ruby stepped up under the street lamp light in front of him, a playful smile on her face, her eyes dancing, and the words died in Five's mouth. Ruby always looked nice — the smokey eye look suited her hooded, dancing blue eyes perfectly; her cherry red lips were always pristine and sharp, perfect for her playful, slightly dangerous smile. But dressed up she looked… amazing.

The deep green dress she had chosen looked striking against her deep, jet-black curls of hair, and it hugged every curve in sharp definition, the mermaid cut of the dress sitting perfectly against wide, pale, creamy mounds of breasts. Five had a split second, totally unprompted, where he imagined her breasts naked, areolae wide and dark and full, nipples perked and — shit. Where the hell did that come from? And he was now uncomfortably hard.

He realized he had been staring at her rack for maybe half a minute.

Swallowing, he looked up slowly to meet her eyes. He was reminded anew of how much more flirtatious and sexually literate Ruby was when he saw her smirking mischievously, and yes, she was _teasing_ him, maybe even making _fun_ of him, and _God he wanted her so bad_ that the feeling stunned him.

He swallowed, flushed, opened his mouth, closed it again. He couldn't find anything to say and he felt humiliated and it was incredibly, strangely erotic. Five had never lost all control in a public place and he was amazed by how fucking good it felt.

Ruby smiled, bent his arm up, placed her hand on it, and said, "Let's go. It's nice to be appreciated." She began walking with him, and mechanically, on instinct, Five walked with her.

Five swallowed, did not look at her, and after maybe half a minute he found his voice. "… I will give this to you," he said in a low tone. "I have _never_ been lost for words before." His tone was fervent.

Ruby smiled, and she was far more pleased with herself than she was comfortable admitting to. Ruby _was_ insecure, somewhere deep down inside, and his obvious admiration just felt… nice.

Five saw the slightly shyer smile she graced him with as she looked at the ground, obviously pleased, and that strange little vice wound its way around his heart again.

Seattle in the brilliant lights of city night life was even more magnificent than in the daytime. Vast old redbrick buildings squeezed themselves up sloping hills. There were coffee shops and colorful artsy venues on seemingly every street corner. Countless local clubs advertised grunge music — which had started in Seattle — and Seattle was a peculiar city because there were no clearly demarcated "safe" and "unsafe" areas. A sketchy place calling itself a massage parlor and a sex toy shop could exist on the same stretch of roadway as a children's park, a famous venue, and an ice cream parlor.

There were also countless bookshops. Rainy seaside Seattle was known almost as much for its literacy as for its coffee. Starbucks had started in Seattle, and one of the most famous bookshops in the United States was set right in its downtown area.

Oakley was set so firmly in the downtown area that their walk to the theater was brief. On a main stretch of roadway famous for its massive theaters — both literal and cinematic — they found an arching building, inside of which housed plush red carpets and gold trimming. A stop at the cloakroom and inside the main hall they found countless levels of seats all arching in a semi-circle around a humongous main stage, with distant ceiling rafters arching in brilliant arrays.

They found their seats and settled themselves in. They had chosen Death of a Salesman, the book version of which they had both actually read. They had generally agreed that a play would probably be more interesting if they had both read it beforehand.

The lights dimmed, the show started, and they sat beside each other in quiet, contented silence. The air between them was peaceful… but Five kept jumping back in his head to earlier — to the moment of strange, almost visceral attraction he had felt.

He couldn't be forming a crush on Ruby. He couldn't have her and it would just be too damnably inconvenient. But he did think back in his mind to the partner clause. Was it possible… the previously absurd idea that he was interested in Ruby _sexually…?_

He told himself it wasn't like that. He had just had a weird teenage moment.

But the thought remained, floating around in the back of his brain.


	8. First Tears

Chapter Eight: First Tears

"I'm glad you had an idea of what you wanted to do for a volunteer work prompt," Klaus admitted as he walked the Seattle city streets with Iris in the daylight. "Dad was big on saving people, big on fighting people — not so big on _helping_ them. I've never actually done this before."

"I thought," said Iris, "that we would spend a week volunteering at a local animal shelter. They're trying to adopt out animals to keep them out of kill shelters."

"What's a kill shelter?" said Klaus, frowning.

Iris looked sad. "So many animals are abandoned that shelters don't have room for them all," she said, "which is why adopting and rescuing animals is so important. When an animal is left without a home for too long, a kill shelter puts them down to make room for more animals."

 _"Christ,"_ said Klaus, his eyes widening.

"Yeah," said Iris, nodding solemnly. "This is going to be tough work. Some of these animals were taken from abusive homes. They're not going to understand a human who's trying to be nice to them."

The rest of the walk was made in a heavy silence as Klaus thought about this. For once, his own problems suddenly seemed very insignificant.

They walked into the animal shelter, which in the front seemed very ordinary — just a waiting area, a desk, and a cash register. "Klaus and Iris," said Iris. "We're your new volunteers for this week."

"Of course, come right this way," said the woman at the front desk with a smile. She led them through a door into the back. "This is where you'll be working."

Long lines of bars like in a prison housed countless dogs and cats. Some of the cats were actually in cages. Many of them were mewling, barking, or crying. The smell of animal shit was heavy.

Klaus took a deep breath. He suddenly understood what Iris had meant when she said this was going to be a tough week's work.

They spent a week with the animals — bathing them, feeding and watering them, cleaning up after them, getting to know them so they could pitch different animals to different potential owners who came through the shelter. Klaus found he was a naturally good salesman. He got a good few animals adopted who might never have been otherwise, and that was actually a really gratifying feeling.

But when it came to nurturing and caring for the animals, Iris was in her element. She had this incredible gentle compassion in the healing way she approached each animal, and they turned to her like a flower to the sunlight; they _loved_ her.

Klaus would never forget one specific moment. Iris volunteered to clean a pit bull who had spent its entire life before this as a fighting dog, being abused for the benefit of watching viewers, being trained to try to kill other pit bulls. Klaus stood off to the side nearby, watching carefully in case he needed to pull Iris out of the way, because the idea of her getting this close made him nervous.

He was blown away by what he actually witnessed.

The pit bull crouched in the sink, trembling and skinny, looking up at Iris with big, afraid, damp eyes. She was very gentle and soothing, very calm and methodical, as she washed each part of his body in turn, cooing soft words the entire time. It was clear, in that moment, that no one had ever done anything like that for this animal before. It was actually one of the most emotional scenes Klaus thought he had ever witnessed.

Afterward, in another part of the shelter, Iris's mask fell and her face worked as she began tearing up. "I'm sorry," she said, trying to wipe her eyes. "I'm _sorry."_

"Hey, hey," Klaus began with a big soft smile. Then he realized there was no way even he could make this funny. So he just hugged her, and held her in his arms, and rubbed her back as she sobbed with his chin on her soft hair. "It's okay," he whispered. "It's okay."

"I hate this," she sobbed. "I can't do _anything_ for them!" Her hands fisted his shirt in frustration and he felt his shirt becoming damp.

"You're doing more than you think," he said in a soothing, sad voice. "And you're helping me, too. I'd never have gotten to do this without you.

"Thank you, Iris."

-

"I'm glad you had an idea of what you wanted to do for a volunteer work prompt," Five admitted as he walked the Seattle city streets with Ruby in the daylight. "Dad was big on saving people, big on fighting people — not so big on _helping_ them. I've never actually done this before."

"I thought," said Ruby, "that we would spend a week volunteering at a local shelter for women trying to escape gender-based domestic violence."

"They don't have any family or friends to go to?" said Five, frowning slightly.

"Some of them have no family, or at least no family they're talking to," said Ruby. "And one of the hallmarks of being in an abusive relationship is having extreme difficulty making healthy outside friendships.

"So, especially if they didn't have a job before this, no. They don't have anywhere else to go. These shelters take them in so they can escape their abusers. We'll be teaching some of them English, and trying to help others with job resumes and with finding appropriate jobs and apartments. They're all going to be a little gun-shy of people, so try to be a little more gentle and understanding than usual, yeah?"

"Yeah," said Five slowly, considering this. "Okay."

When they walked into the place, the entrance looked rather like a homeless shelter — a wide floor where people were lying or sleeping, a long lunch counter line that gave out things like soup and bread. There were hallways branching off from the main entrance hall. Bunk beds were stacked in these rooms, a few escapees to a single room. Everyone who lived in the shelter had the hard, worn look that Five usually associated with someone who had given up on certain aspects of life.

"Well," said Ruby. "Ready, begin. We'll do all our work together, okay?"

Ruby was in her element all week.

Her natural ease with people really shone here. She always started out every meeting by making conversation, and at first Five didn't understand why. It took him a few meetings to realize that by the end of a conversation with Ruby, most people were more relaxed, smiling, willing to open up. She was friendly, at ease, and social with a good sense of humor, and never abrasive. People opened up to Ruby in a way they might never have opened up to Five.

And she had genuine fire and passion for what she did. She fought for these people, untiring both in her English lessons and in her help writing resumes and looking up apartment complexes and prices. Without Five's help it might have been even worse, but Ruby still overworked herself fairly hard that week. The kind of intensity and the amount of hours she put into the work were obviously exhausting her by the end of their time at the shelter.

She was on a shelter computer, typing and researching away in silence late one evening when Five came over and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Ruby," he said, and it was so gently any of his siblings would have gawked. "It's time to stop now."

Ruby looked up, intense and emotional. "But I haven't finished —!"

"I know. But you're never going to finish. And you're exhausted," said Five patiently. "You're no use to anyone if you're tired. It's time to stop now. You need to go home and get some rest."

Ruby relaxed, sighed, put her face in her hands. Five slowly rubbed her back in the strangely poignant silence that followed. Bit by bit, she relaxed underneath his touch.

It was one of the most personal, emotionally meaningful moments Five had ever had with anyone. This, he realized, his father had never taught him — and he knew he would be better because Ruby had.

-

"Come on, Iris," said Klaus, pulling Iris out toward the wooden dance floor with the jukebox. "We've been taking local swing dancing classes now for three days. It's a three-step. You have to venture out eventually."

"Easy for you to say. You're better at this than I am," Iris protested.

"Come on." Klaus grinned as he stopped her on the dance floor. "No one's going to notice. Everyone's focused on themselves. Just let your body start moving."

That was definitely what Klaus started doing. What he was doing wasn't even technically pure swing — there were weird samba and ballroom dancing undertones in there — but Klaus was having the time of his life and he truly didn't seem to care. He moved wildly, he moved for fun, he moved to make people laugh — and the more people turned to look at them, the wilder he got, grinning wide.

Iris, who was of course dancing with him, just got shyer and more timid, and more and more upset. When the laughter started, she turned bright red and fled the dance floor.

Klaus chased after her and found her hiding in a little hall by the bathrooms, breathing deep. "What's wrong?" he asked, his smile fading, and then to his horror he saw her eyes fill with tears.

"I looked ridiculous out there — especially against you. And you knew perfectly well I didn't want anyone watching me," she said in a choked up voice.

"Well…" Klaus sighed, exasperated. "I was just having _fun._ Come on, it wasn't a huge deal. What, I'm not allowed to have fun?"

"Of course you were having fun. You already had lessons and you're great at this. So is my sister. _I'm_ the one who can't dance and _I'm_ the only one who really wants to!" She whirled around to face him. "People were _laughing,_ Klaus. Do you have any idea how often people did that to me in school?"

It was the first time Klaus had heard that part of Iris's background, and he felt vaguely guilty. "Well — no one was laughing at _you,"_ he sighed impatiently. "People were laughing at me. Like they always are. That was tame, compared to the way my family used to be. You've just got to learn to relax and enjoy it —,"

"I can't do that," Iris said, face red, tears in her eyes. "I'm not _you."_

"Iris — this is stupid!" Klaus called after her as she made to leave.

She whirled around, her eyes narrowed in a glare. "I'm sure it is," she said frostily. "So you can stay here and have plenty of fun without me." She stormed away. Klaus didn't quite believe she was really leaving… until several seconds passed and she hadn't come back.

Frantic, wide-eyed, he sprinted back around the corner to find himself quite without a partner on the dance floor. Iris wasn't anywhere. Several people were giving him curious looks.

A sinking dread filled the pit of Klaus's stomach.

-

Five and Ruby's local swing dancing lessons came with their own set of problems.

The problem came to a head when Ruby stood in front of Five, hands on her hips. He was seated on a bench at the edge of the wooden dance floor, the jukebox playing beyond them.

"You have to get up and dance," she said bossily.

Five glared. "I don't _have_ to do anything," he said in a low voice. "I put up with the lessons. I'm not doing the dance, too. And don't even get started about Oakley," he said when she opened her mouth, "because all I'll be required to do is lessons."

"But you're so good," she said, puzzled and frustrated. "Why don't you like this?"

"I just don't."

Ruby sighed and rolled her eyes. "Okay, _fine,"_ she said, and flounced away. Five experienced the unpleasant old secret sensation of feeling boring — the bane of his childhood — and he watched moodily as Ruby walked up to another teenage boy, beamed, and asked him to dance.

He sat in the corner, stubborn, with his arms crossed, getting more and more surly as he watched Ruby approach boy after boy, flirtatious and beaming wide, dancing very close to them. A strange anger he didn't know how to define or understand filled him. Finally, his eyes narrowed when he saw one boy's hand inching down her back, closer to her ass —

Before he could think twice about it, Five had gotten up, stormed over, ripped the hand away, and snapped, "Don't touch her like that!"

The whole floor stopped. Everyone turned to stare at them.

Ruby smiled with effort, but her jaw was clenched and there was anger in her eyes and her voice. "Five," she said. "A moment." And she pulled him away, off of the dance floor and into the hallway that separated the dance studio from the staircase down to the next floor. "What the hell was that?!"

"He was going to grab you ass!"

"And if I wanted him to stop, I could have removed the hand myself," Ruby snapped.

"You're angry with me for saving you from sexual assault?" said Five incredulously.

"Stop exaggerating. And no, I'm not. I'm _annoyed_ with you for sitting in the corner, glaring moodily while I danced with everyone besides you. Do you know, two different people I danced with asked about you? You don't get to have it both ways, Five. If you don't want to see me dancing with other boys — which, by the way, I get to do anyway — then you should stand up and ask me to dance yourself."

"You're ridiculous," Five sneered. "And attention-seeking. I'm not sure which is worse."

Ruby's eyes widened — and then narrowed as tears filled them. "And you're —,"

"Boring?"

"Technically. Because you're a _prick,_ Five. And there's nothing interesting about that," Ruby hissed. "Why don't I save us both the trouble, do what you always wanted in the first place, and just leave. _Without you!"_ she snapped, whirling back around when he made to follow her.

Five's eyes widened, startled.

"Congratulations," she said in a choked-up voice, unshed tears in her eyes. "You just ruined one of the first activities I was really looking forward to."

Five watched as she stormed down the stairs and away.

-

Late that night, Iris opened up her dorm room door and sighed. Klaus was sitting there, big-eyed, like he hadn't moved in hours. "My sister told me you were out here," she said. "How did you even find my dorm room?"

Klaus stood up. "Iris," he said in a fast, high, scared voice. "Iris, I'm sorry." 

"Klaus —," Iris began, because by now she had calmed down.

"I'm sorry." And Klaus actually sounded like he was on the verge of tears. "I... I promise I'll never do it again. I'll... I'll be gentle with you, and careful, and I won't ever get anybody to laugh at us again, and please... please don't stop being my friend." He was shaking and crying. "Please don't stop talking to me. Please. You're — you're the first good thing that's ever happened to me and it would be just like me to fuck it up and please don't go _I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry —,"_

Iris reached out and hugged him, hard. Klaus paused through his tears — and then he started breathing again. He hugged her back, trying to memorize everything, her delicate little body and her scent and she was so precious and so perfect and so —

"I… you're not the way you see yourself at all. You're not anything to laugh at, and you're not a bad dancer, and you're not a bad anything." He clutched her closer and breathed. "You're perfect. I'm just mouthy and reckless and funny and dumb and _I'm sorry I'm sorry —,"_

Iris at last stood back and smiled. Her eyes were a bit damp, but she looked... happy?

"You just seemed so much… more than I was," she whispered. "I mean, I know I can be kind of shy, and scared, and strange, and —,"

Klaus reached out and hugged her again, pulled her closer in a desperate way, like he'd never let her go. "I like you." His hands were all over her, not even in a sexual way but in an emotional one, like he needed as much contact as he could get. "I like you," he said in an intense, unsteady voice. "You're... you're not strange, you're... you're beautiful," he whispered softly into her hair, bowing his head down and burying his face in it.

Iris took deep breaths, feeling so many things — physical, emotional, sexual. She clung to him. "Okay," she whispered. "Okay, I... I like you, too. And you're not stupid. You're not dumb."

"... Really?" said Klaus into her hair.

"Really," said Iris. She stood back to look at him. Then she smiled into his tearful face and put a warm hand to his cheek. He nuzzled shamelessly into it, touch-starved and turned on. "Oh, Klaus," Iris whispered. "Don't let this go to your head, but I could never stay angry with you."

They both half-laughed, softly.

"And just because we fight, that doesn't mean I don't want to see you anymore. Fights happen. And I'm sorry for freaking out earlier," she said. "Would you like to come in and have some tea?"

"... Okay," Klaus whispered, big-eyed, and then a vast balloon swelled inside him because it was like everything was all right again.

He followed her quietly into the dorm room and shut the door.

-

It took a couple of days of angry silence for Five and Ruby to admit privately to themselves how badly they missed each other.

Five had expected it to be like amputating a limb — appendage gone, try to continue on as before.

But without Ruby in it, before just didn't seem that exciting. Five was alarmed to find himself slowly losing interest in everything. Books. TV. Games. Working out. He started looking through the photos of her on her social media pages. And then he would look up, and two hours had passed.

Five did not have a problem. He told himself that. Five did not have a problem.

Then one night in the shower, the water suddenly turned colder and he swore as he tried to dial it back to warm and it wasn't working and then he kicked a bathroom wall and he started crying. Right there in the shower. He curled up in a corner and started sobbing and he was full of it, with Ruby and her smile and the way it never seemed directed at him and the way he never seemed to get to her and the way he had ruined everything and she'd probably never speak to him again —

Klaus, who had been worried about his brother for a couple of days now, walked up to the bathroom door and frowned in concern. Each person at Oakley got their own individual room, a roommate in a mirroring room, and then a bathroom, kitchenette, and living area in between the two dorm rooms. Just as Iris did with her sister, Five and Klaus, of course, roomed together, so Klaus was in the living room when Five started crying in the bathroom. And the sobs just sounded so... full, so broken, so... not Five.

Klaus sighed. "Well, someone has to do something," he said to himself, "or these two idiots will never get it." He walked up to Five's phone and whispered, "Thank God I memorized his passcode so I could look up sketchy pictures on his phone. Let's see, Ruby, Ruby… There we go." He scrolled down the list of contacts, hit her name, and called her.

She picked up after two rings. "… Five?" she said cautiously in a hard voice, sounding wary.

"Sorry. This is his brother. Look. I'm pretty sure you miss him. I know he misses you."

Ruby sighed. "You don't need to butt in —,"

"Yeah, but see, Rubes. The thing is. He's never going to initiate this conversation himself. Because he thinks it's over. And you don't care. And you never want to see him again," said Klaus.

"I... I never... why would he...?" said Ruby in bewilderment.

"Because if there is one thing I learned growing up with dysfunctional siblings, Ruby, it's that the damaged kids who seem toughest actually probably need love the most," Klaus sighed. "Listen to me.

"He is sitting on the floor of the shower right now. Letting the water run on him. Sobbing so brokenly I can hear it from the living room."

Something fierce clenched around Ruby's heart. "I'll be there in five," she said hurriedly, in a deadly voice. "What's your room number?"

Klaus put his phone down a minute later. "Brother stuff," he sighed to himself. "Brother stuff."

By the time Five had gotten out of the shower and put his pajamas on, his breaths were a little shaky but his body was mostly all right. His emotions were another story. He felt like something inside of him had died, and he was just lugging around dead weight in his chest cavity.

He walked out the bathroom door, looked up — and Ruby was right there, looking concerned.

And that traitorous, stupid thing in Five's chest cavity just woke right back up and started thudding like crazy.

"How... how did you...?" He turned slowly to glare daggers at Klaus, who smiled uneasily and made the surrender motion with his hands.

"You are the stubbornest person I know," said Ruby, as Klaus left very quickly. Five turned back around to stare at her. "You would literally rather sob brokenly in the shower than come and talk to me."

_"Klaus told you —!"_

"Yeah, and I'm glad he did," said Ruby. "Five... just because I have a fight with you, that doesn't mean I never want to see you again. Sometimes I just want to be angry for a while. I've missed you terribly."

Five felt — better, he could admit to himself, tentative and begrudging. He looked away. "I miss you, too," he managed. "Obviously."

"Fights happen," said Ruby. "But... why would you think I don't care about you?"

"Because... you never show it," he finally said, looking up. His voice was strangled. "I mean, you smile a lot, but it's never... at me," he said in a tiny voice. He felt lost.

"I..." She thought back, frowning. Then she looked down and Five's heart clenched horribly.

So what she said surprised him.

"I... didn't have a much better childhood than you." He looked up. "And I act really tough," she mumbled, fiddling uncharacteristically with her fingers, "and I'm smiling all the time, but getting close to people... terrifies me. And I'm stubborn. And I'm proud. I guess that's another thing we have in common." She smiled up at him, and it was a sad, gentle, shy, tentative kind of smile that made Five's previously dead heart dance the polka. There was a softness and just barely a sheen to her eyes. "I do care," she whispered. "A lot more than sometimes I show at first glance. And I know you're the same way — which is probably why you got angry the other day. And I know you were trying to protect me, and probably for a good reason. And I'm sorry. For being stubborn. And proud. Okay?"

"... Okay," Five whispered. "I'm sorry, too… for being a jealous… horribly tempered… jackass," he said in something like embarrassment, and they both half-laughed.

Then Ruby reached out and put a warm hand to his damp arm. All of Five's world suddenly focused on that hand. "You're not, you know," she said. "Boring. I've been thinking about what you said. And you're not." Something strange shot through Five. He was pretty sure it was a feeling. He had trouble naming it. Five did not have a great deal of experience with feelings.

But he had feelings. This was a new discovery in the life of Five.

"But next time... just talk to me, okay? You can talk to me. Because I do care. And I won't turn you away," she said softly. "All right?"

Five nodded, ducking his head, vaguely embarrassed.

"I... I feel like I'm talking a lot," she realized.

Five smirked and took a slight risk. "Nothing new there," he teased her gently, a new kind of fondness in his voice, and they both laughed.

"Fuck it! Can we be friends again?" Ruby burst out through her laughter. "All this not talking has been _miserable,_ and —,"

And then Five reached out and hugged her.

He did it entirely without conscious thought, without meaning to, without considering it. But when she hugged him back, hard... emotions filled him and it was like being sunk into a hot bath. Five relaxed in relief, boneless, and he just lay there and held her, tracing soft circles on her back. He closed his eyes, and breathed deep. 

Maybe everything would be all right. And he would have to thank Klaus... later...

Ruby smiled as she hugged him hard, trying to hide the tears that had filled her eyes.

-

This, incidentally, was also how Iris and Ruby found out Klaus and Five were brothers, and how Klaus and Five found out Ruby and Iris were sisters. In another situation it might have been comical.

In this one, it ended up being hardly the point.

-

_Losing him was blue like I'd never known. Missing him was dark gray all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met. But loving him was red._

_— Red, Taylor Swift_

_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right, and how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry. Maybe this is wishful thinking — probably my wish dreaming — but if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right._

_— Back to December, Taylor Swift_

_Last night we went to bed not talking, 'cause we'd already said too much. I faced the wall, you faced the window, bound and determined not to touch. We've been married seven years now. Some days it feels like twenty-one. I'm still mad at you this morning. Coffee's ready if you want some. I've been up since five, thinking about me and you, and I've got to tell you the conclusion I've come to: I'll never leave. I'll never stray. My love for you will never change. But I ain't ready to make up — we'll get around to that. I think I'm right. I think you're wrong. I'll probably give in before long. Please don't make me smile. I just wanna be mad for a while._

_— I Just Wanna Be Mad, Terri Clark_


	9. Growing

Chapter Nine: Growing

There was only one vintage dress-up shop anywhere near downtown Seattle. It was full of racks of clothes, props, and costumes, and it had an old-fashioned photo booth in the back. For a fee, people could dress up and have photos taken for them to take home. This was the exact assignment from Oakley and, since there was only one of these places, Five, Ruby, Klaus, and Iris decided it would be simpler if they all just went together.

It was a nice, easygoing break from all the intensity they had been going through lately. They laughed, snarked, and joked around with each other as they tried on different costumes and posed for different photos. For each costume, a photo was taken of each individually, then a photo was taken for each partner pair, and finally a group photo was taken.

Each person picked two different full-on costumes. For the first time around, Klaus dressed up as a glam rock icon and Iris dressed up as a hippie flower girl. They had their picture taken together. Five dressed up as a noir man and Ruby dressed up as a flapper girl. They had their picture taken together.

For the second time around, Klaus dressed up in a zoot suit and Iris dressed up in a 1950's poodle skirt with a lemonade pink jacket. They had their picture taken together. Five dressed up in quiet, sleek black mod fashion and Ruby dressed up as a 1980's roller derby icon, complete with massive hair, colorful eyeshadow, and fishnets. They had their picture taken together.

At the end, they had a wide variety of photos in hand and as they smiled over them, Ruby told Five, "Do you know, I think these are the first pictures we've ever taken together?" Five paused in surprise as he realized this was true.

"Yeah, us too," said Iris, looking around at Klaus in surprise.

"That means two things," said Ruby proudly. "First, we're going to have to frame these. And second, we should take smartphone pictures of each photo set we're in."

Phones came out and pictures began snapping away.

-

The next activity, they also did together as a group, because it meant Ruby was in her element.

 _"An old-fashioned black and white silent film theater,"_ she said excitedly as they walked down the street. "Uses an old-fashioned projector and everything."

"I assume you already know what movie we're going to see?" said Five expectantly, as Klaus looked curious and Iris smiled in fond amusement.

"They have a really good one playing today!" Ruby beamed in excitement. "I've wanted to see it in person forever. It's called _The Cabinet of Dr Caligari._ It's like the first art house horror movie. It has all this fantastic set and costume design, all these unusual angles, and everything has a touch of the unreal, even of the kabuki. But then it's about a really morbid subject matter. Two men encounter Dr Caligari at a fairground. When one of the men is killed, the other begins to run around the fair grounds after Caligari, suspecting Caligari of a series of murders. But when it's revealed that Caligari is actually the director of a local asylum... Well, that's the turning point the entire movie hinges on. That's when you start to realize why everything in the movie looks unreal."

"It sounds interesting," said Five, and he meant it, surprising even himself.

"In Five language, that means terrifying," said Klaus informatively.

"You don't mind if I cling to your arm a lot, do you?" Iris whispered. "I like psychological suspense, but out and out horror scares me."

"Feel free to cut off all the blood circulation in my arm," said Klaus cheerfully, feeling a kind of fondness well up inside him.

Ruby was as good as her word, and so was Iris. When they sat down with popcorn inside the tiny old-fashioned movie theater, and the arthouse silent film horror piece started up in front of them, they were the only people in the theater. So Ruby and Five got to whisper to each other about all the different famous horror shots and gimmicks that would go on to become iconic later. Ruby knew an encyclopedic amount about this vintage old history, and she was very interesting to talk to.

And Iris really did clutch Klaus's arm in terror the whole time, gasping and jumping at all the worst parts. He kept rubbing her arm and shushing her and whispering soothing words, and that kind of emotional intensity where he _needed_ to touch her welled up inside him again, and he had to restrain himself from taking her in his arms and burying his face in her sweetly scented hair again. She was so small, and so delicate, and when she looked up at him with big green eyes and flushed pink cheeks for a few seconds the rest of the world just stopped mattering.

"I... am impressed," said Five, walking back out of the theater as evening set in around them. He was smiling slightly despite himself. "You might actually know more about old silent film shots than I do about beating people up."

Ruby cackled triumphantly. Then she calmed and said, "If it's any consolation, I was impressed, too. You're a horror buff. You really know your stuff."

Klaus and Iris said nothing, but they were very close together and their fingers kept brushing each other's and, flushed, they looked up at each other with whispered, meaningful eyes. That was how it started for Klaus — by the end of the evening, all that need for touch, for delicate, soft contact — because she was _soft,_ so _soft_ — had build up into a hardness in his groin and a fire inside him, the slow-burning, soft, delicate, constant kind that was never quite satisfied and that he hadn't known existed, that was possessive and protective and that threatened to burn and consume everything in its path.

Klaus couldn't be forming a crush on Iris. It wasn't like him, and he couldn't have her anyway. But his mind went back to the partner clause. Was he sure he didn't want Iris… _sexually…?_

-

"Our next assignment was a small-time local concert," said Klaus as they slipped inside the dark, blue-lit club. "And I have to admit to a love for jazz — even the freestyle stuff that everybody hates. Five doesn't understand it."

"As a girl with heavily avant-garde pieces on my mp3, I have no room to talk," said Iris in amusement.

They slipped into a tiny, dark corner booth and cuddled up together, listening to the music and clicking their fingers at all the right places. Iris supposed she could see what it was about jazz that appealed to Klaus, especially in its modern form. It seemed to just be a group of musicians playing off of each other in the moment, each responding to the other with a new piece of music completely off the top of their head, and they just kept doing that, responding to each other until, on an unspoken signal, they decided the piece was finished — making it very hard to know when the musicians were actually done with a song. Iris could see the chaos of that appealing to Klaus.

But as she cuddled up close to him, she started noticing things — the curve of his rangy hip against hers, and his slim, taut, pretty body against her own, his boyish skin and his scent, addiction-based and sweet. When one long, awkwardly graceful, pale arm curled around and one long musician's hand settled on her knee, she _noticed._

And she left it there because — embarrassing as it was — that felt very nice.

-

Ruby and Five were walking together into a pub and coffeehouse. "So I take it we're not just here for the coffee," said Ruby dryly.

"Well... I _am_ in perpetual search for the perfect cup of coffee," Five admitted, and Ruby laughed. Five's lips quirked, ever so slightly. "But no. That's not the only reason we're here. Small-time local concert was the next prompt, right?"

The place laid out around them was full of burnished, rustic wood and exposed redbrick. There was a series of bookshelves leading up to a bar for coffee and drinks. Tables with chairs were spread throughout the place, and there was a tiny stage with an antique piano and what looked like a bluegrass band setting up in a corner.

Ruby followed Five as he made for the bar. They ordered two cups of coffee, and when they had received them in warm, steaming mugs, they found a table close to the stage where the bluegrass-looking band was setting up with their steel strings.

"The other reason we're here," Five finished, "is because I love really old-fashioned, original blues and rock music. And we're going to see a band dedicated to that playing locally tonight."

"Interesting. Okay," said Ruby brightly. She glanced around at the other people gathering around the stage, a strange mixture of rockabilly cowboys, hipsters, and old-fashioned, reserved-looking people. Five had been right — he _was_ closest to the third kind of person.

As she sipped her coffee and looked around with bright, heavy-lidded, ocean blue eyes, red lips quirking as her eyes danced, Five chanced a long sideways look at Ruby for the first time. She made for a very nice picture — flushed nighttime cheeks, her black curls piled up high behind her head, thick and glossy... the colorful scarf wrapped around her neck and chin-line, leading down to a tan trench coat that curved over large, full breasts…

Ruby glanced sideways at him and her eyes widened with innocent curiosity. That thing leaped alive and awake inside Five's chest cavity, that thing he wasn't sure he had ever felt before. "Five? Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he lied casually, taking a sip of coffee and turning back to look expressionlessly at the stage. "Everything's fine."

Ruby tried her best to open him up as the music began. As soon as she had a hold of the lyrics, she started grinning, nudging him, and lip syncing to him. Five tried hard not to look amused by this, but fairly shortly he was obviously trying visibly not to smile.

-

"Rock-climbing," Ruby was saying. "It's one of those things I've always wanted to do."

"You've never been rock climbing?" said Five. He didn't say it mockingly this time — sometimes he just forgot most people had normal childhoods that didn't involve learning how to survive for months on conditions like Mount Everest.

"Nope, not once," said Ruby freely.

"Well, my Dad's taken me. I could show you," said Five.

"Interesting. You claim you're good. Care to put your money where your mouth is?" Ruby arched an eyebrow teasingly.

Maybe it was the challenge. Five could never say no to a challenge. "Fine," he said smugly.

They went up to a center and Ruby paid at the door to get them in. Soon enough, they found themselves in a gym-like room with a tall, fake rock wall as its main centerpiece. People were attaching themselves to harnesses at the top of the wall, and climbing up hand over hand, foot over foot. Ruby grinned fearlessly and went over to the wall to hook herself up and try it.

Five got in next to her, and he hadn't been lying — he was very good at it. He was at the top of the wall in under two minutes. Only Five's father would have known that by his family's standards that was pathetic. But contrary to popular belief, Five could be considerate when he wanted to be — he just didn't particularly enjoy admitting to it. He didn't want Ruby to feel embarrassed and bad about herself.

Not that that stopped him from keeping up the mocking commentary as she tried to climb up the wall to reach him. He spent the first few minutes shouting down helpful pieces of advice, helping her find her footing and her form. Once she seemed to have it, he kept up a running sarcastic commentary of insults — mostly because he had noticed this seemed to spur her to go faster.

"I," Ruby puffed out, "am going to punch your face when I get up there!" She climbed faster.

"Well by that time I'll be a hundred years old, so I'm good for another hundred years," said Five.

"Are you always like this?"

"Smooth, sophisticated, sharp-tongued?"

"I was thinking angry, attitude problem, weird sense of humor."

"Oh." Five pretended to think about it. "Yeah," he admitted frankly, shrugging, and Ruby nearly unattached from the wall with her sudden shout of laughter.

Five called out, "Hold on!" and he meant to slide down there beside her.

But Ruby suddenly called, "No! Don't! I've got it!" And she kept climbing, steely determination in her eyes. She wasn't fast, but, Five thought with private respect as she finally reached the top, there was something to be said for sheer stubbornness and nerve. She turned around to smirk at him. "Ha!" she said triumphantly. It was oddly cute.

Five blinked, giving nothing away. "Thought you said you were going to punch me," he observed.

"You say that like you want me to. There's a word for that, Five, it's called masochism," said Ruby. Then she peered down hesitantly at the floor far below. "Now help me get down," she said carefully.

And without warning, Five took her in his arms and eased her down toward the floor with him. All of a sudden Ruby was feeling all of it — the slim musculature of his body, the warmth of his skin, his thudding heart in his chest, his arms protective around her, the faint scents of fresh sweat and boy.

By the time she got to the floor, she was surprised by the power of her own feelings and by the sexual sensation that had welled up within her. She was strangely glad, considering how confident and flirtatious she usually was, that the strain of the exercise was disguising how badly she was flushing.

Five let her go once they made ground, oblivious.

-

"I was never all that good at any of the physical activities Dad made us do," Klaus was saying as they walked down the street. "But I still have enough training in rock climbing to be able to help you."

"That sounds like a deal," said Iris, smiling sweetly, and Klaus's heart gentled again. That had been happening a lot lately. It was getting a little worrisome. He kept finding little excuses to touch her, too, and he didn't understand that either.

They went up to a center and Iris paid at the door to get them in. Soon enough, they found themselves in a gym-like room with a tall, fake rock wall as its main centerpiece. People were attaching themselves to harnesses at the top of the wall, and climbing up hand over hand, foot over foot. Iris was careful and thorough, coating her hands in chalk before walking up to the rock wall, looking up a bit nervously.

Klaus was all ready to have to encourage her to climb up — when determination came over her expression and Iris began hooking herself up to the rock wall. Klaus supposed he should have known. Iris was always braver than she gave herself credit for.

He would climb up a piece of wall, then wait patiently for her, calmly giving her helpful advice and tips. This way, inch by inch, they climbed up the rock wall together. Each noticed how glorious the other looked flushed and sweating. Neither gave any true sign that they had noticed.

When they reached the top of the wall, Iris smiled over at Klaus, who was smiling back at her. She had the sudden urge to lean over and kiss him, quick and sweet and playful, and she had to stop herself.

Where had that come from?

-

For their next activity, Ruby said casually, "So I suppose you know how to do everything sports-related."

"Nope," said Five, sounding positively bored. "Only things that are survival-related."

"Really?" said Ruby curiously.

"Really," said Five. "I was... privately tutored. I never even did phys ed."

"So you've never played baseball!" said Ruby brightly, seeing an opportunity and latching onto it.

"No." Five turned and frowned. "Why?"

"It's only the best game to play in the entire world! I used to love that in phys ed!" said Ruby enthusiastically. "Come on. Come with me. I'm returning the rock climbing favor." And she ran off down the street. Then she paused and looked back to find him still staring at her. "Unless you've got somewhere important to be," she added mockingly.

Five sighed, and went off with some amount of resignation down the street. "Okay. Let's go." Ruby cheered and started running again.

They went to an empty baseball field and found a sack of balls and a bat lying against the wire fence railing. Ruby went to pitch, and decided to teach Five how to hit the ball first. The first several tries were spectacularly unsuccessful, but Ruby was learning when to tease and when not to, so she actually took this with a surprising amount of maturity and gave pointers.

She had fun when Five finally hit the ball, though. It didn't really have anything to do with baseball, but she chased after him as he ran all the bases, screaming, "FASTER, FASTER!"

"You're actually crazy!" Five shouted back over his shoulder, but he was privately impressed. Ruby could _run._

It was evening by the time that, having worked up a pleasant sweat, they were walking back off the baseball field along the line of the lights that had turned themselves on. Five glanced sideways at Ruby. He wasn't sure if this was a Ruby Thing or a Five Thing, but she looked really pretty glowing from the end of a day of working out. He blushed slightly and looked away again.

-

For their next activity, Iris said casually, "So I suppose you know how to do everything sports-related."

"Nope," said Klaus matter-of-factly. "Only things that are survival-related."

"Really?" said Iris curiously.

"Really," said Klaus. "I was... privately tutored. I never even did phys ed."

"So you've never played football — you call it soccer!" said Iris brightly, seeing an opportunity and latching onto it.

"No." Klaus turned and frowned. "Why?"

"It's only the best game to play in the entire world! I used to love that in phys ed!" said Iris enthusiastically. "Come on. Come with me. I'm returning the rock climbing favor." And she ran off down the street.

Klaus smiled slowly. "Okay," he said curiously, and he ran gamely after her.

They went to an empty soccer field, and got a soccer ball out of a nearby bag full of them. What they ended up playing was a simple, poor man's version of soccer — each kicked the ball around, trying to get it into the goalpost netting past the other. Klaus was fairly certain actual soccer was a lot more complicated than this.

But as he tried to duck around a flushed Iris, kicking with all his might, trying to get the soccer ball in the goal netting past her, he was still laughing softly and having — surprisingly? — the time of his life.

-

_Before you, I'd only dated self-indulgent takers who took all of their problems out on me. But you carry my groceries and now I'm always laughing. I love you because you have given me no choice but to stay, stay, stay. I've been loving you for quite some time, time, time. You think that it's funny when I'm mad, mad, mad. But I think that it's best if we both stay, stay, stay, stay. You took the time to memorize me, my fears, my hopes and dreams. I just like hanging out with you all the time. All those times that you didn't leave, it's been occurring to me I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life._

_— Stay Stay Stay, Taylor Swift_


	10. Needing, Knowing

Chapter Ten: Needing, Knowing

It rained often in Seattle, but usually softly — gentle, sprinkling rainfall that fell upon one's head, one's umbrella. This was not that kind of rain. It was a drenching downpour, sheets of water falling onto Seattle's head all day long. Ruby and Five stood at the top of a hill edging a park. Below them, down the hill, the water had created long rivers, long sheets of mud.

Ruby was grinning, already soaking wet. "So we're really going to do this?!" Five called.

"Hell yeah we are!" Ruby called back, and she hauled out the big old trash can lid she had brought with her. She put it upside down, sat down inside of it, and — before Five could do more than call out in surprise — she slid down the muddy hill with a scream of delight. She slid out of the trash can lid, mud went everywhere, and she lay in the mud laughing herself to hysterics at the bottom.

"Crazy," Five muttered, but he was smiling and he sounded impressed, and he tried to go down after her — ending up slipping, and sliding against his legs all the way down the muddy embankment.

"Join us!" Ruby began chanting, covered with mud and leaping on him from behind to try to put him in a headlock. "JOIN US!"

Five tossed her off and what began as mud sliding quickly turned into a mud fight. As they threw mud at each other, tossed themselves at each other and tried to wrestle one another to the ground, Ruby couldn't stop laughing and shouting ridiculous things. By the end, even Five was grinning, in spite of himself.

The skies rumbled with the thunderstorm overhead, and they danced in the rain.

It happened quite suddenly as Five tossed himself at Ruby and managed to knock her to the ground, running on a high of adrenaline. She quickly gave fight and began wrestling, with him on top of her, and all of a sudden Five's arms were around her and her body was everywhere.

Ruby had a small, curvy body, more like the ancient Greek figures of old than like a modern supermodel. Everything about her body was full and dimpled, and all of a sudden quite without warning, Five had arms full of Ruby — big breasts, the nipples and areolae wide and displayed through her shirt in the chill rain, creamy curved thighs and hips, and she was slippery with mud and rain and her tiny, hard form bucked underneath him and —

Five gasped and got onto his hands and knees above her, quickly removing her body from his own.

He had a glimpse of her, an image that was immediately burned into his brain. She was soaking wet and breathless with laughter below him, hooded blue eyes looking up at him beneath their lids and dancing teasingly. Her cherry mouth was wide, innocent, the lower lip fuller and glossy and —

Five shot to his feet and backed away from her, stumbling.

"Everything okay?" Her smile faded slightly as she sat up and looked at him. 

_I'm hard,_ Five didn't say, _and I'm on the verge of thirteen and I want you._ "Yeah," he said in a high, false voice. "Everything's fine."

-

Five lay on his bed that night, freshly showered in his newly decorated dorm room, and told himself he wasn't sexually attracted to Ruby. He told himself this very hard.

Then he rolled over. Then he sat up and tried to read a book. Then he tried to play a video game. Then he paced the room restlessly. Then he turned on streaming on his laptop, freshly paid for with his new art school pension.

None of it worked. He just couldn't get it out of his head. Ruby and her hooded blue eyes and her full cherry red mouth, soaking wet and bucking her small hard body underneath him and smiling up at him, and her breasts nipples hips thighs creamy skin soft slick mud —

Shit.

His arms full of her body.

_Shit._

That nagging sensation that had been playing in the back of Five's mind all day swelled to the forefront, and he was so hot and hard it was almost painful, so much so that he wanted to yell and throw things at the walls and damnit this couldn't continue.

"Fuck puberty," he muttered to himself rebelliously, walking over to the door into the living area and locking it shut. The last thing he needed was Klaus walking in while this... happened.

Maybe he just needed to get it out of his system.

So he stripped. He'd considered leaving his top half fully clothed and then decided that would just feel... bizarre. Besides, if he was going to do the fucking thing, he might as well do it all the way.

(Five felt uncertain and he _hated_ that. He'd never actually done this before. He had no idea what the rules were, if there were any, and it was maddening.)

He lay on his bed, and he finally let himself think of Ruby. He really hoped he'd be able to look her in the eye after this.

His mind, which had been wanting this all damn day, quickly took over. It was alarming how fast his imagination took hold, playing out a scenario that had never actually happened. Five imagined Ruby taking off her clothes, until she was all slick and bare beneath him, and the mud and earth were below them and the skies rumbled above, and in the rain out there where fucking anyone could see them he slipped down lower and put his mouth around one broad nipple, playing at it with his tongue. Ruby bucked and gasped and called out his name beneath him, moaned, _"Five —,"_

And the real Five dimly registered that physical instinct had completely taken over and he had just made a noise he was quite certain he had never made before.

Five straightened in his imagination with a gasp and backed away on his hands and knees, shamelessly, wanting to see _everything._ Wide, creamy thighs were spread and he could see her amid a tangle of dark hair, all wet and red and swelling and waiting for him. He pulled off his pants, stumbled forward on his knees, and entered gently looking into her face, and she was so wet and warm and soft down there, and he ran his fingers through wild bedhead curls of black hair, and she gasped, face twisted in ecstasy, hooded blue eyes wide, pupils so big and looking up at him and —

And that was all it took. He was thirteen and he came with an actual cry, a long low sound, all over his sheets.

He sat up, coming back to himself, sitting up in the dorm room and gasping deep breaths.

 _"Shit,"_ he whispered to himself.

Then he collapsed over boneless on the bed as a warm, slackening kind of ecstasy took hold and all he could think was _Ruby, Ruby, Ruby..._

And in the back of his mind, Five knew damn well he hadn't worked the slightest thing out of his system.

-

Klaus and Iris went to a pottery class together. Klaus loved active, even messy activities, and he loved pulling Iris into them with him almost as much. Iris, who had been afraid her entire life of being too closed off, loved this part of Klaus. So they went to a couples-themed pottery class, where each couple got one wheel. Neither of them thought anything of this going in. How intimate could it be, really? They were learning how to make bowls.

"All right!" the teacher called. Each couple was standing, in the wide stone, sunlit, window-covered room, in front of one pottery wheel. "You will be working with the wheel today to make a bowl! You might have seen the basics of how this works on TV. Usually, when one person is working a wheel, the wheel starts spinning with the clay on it. The person reaches their hands out, puts their hands around the clay, and begins trying to shape it properly.

"So, since this is a couples activity, what I'd like you to do is pick one person to stand directly in front of the pottery wheel and one person to stand behind them."

Iris stood up directly in front of the wheel. Klaus stood behind her.

"Okay, now the person in front reaches out their hands, without turning the wheel on." Iris did so. "And the person behind comes right up close behind them, so that their bodies are connecting. They wrap their arms around the person in front, and then they put their palms on top of the front person's hand — so it will be like you're shaping at the wheel together."

Klaus was a little shy, a little nervous, for reasons he didn't entirely understand. He walked up close behind her. Her hair was long and loose today, delicate pale blonde, silky and fine with a slight wave to it. He came so close he could smell her hair, her skin. He had the oddest desire to bury his face in her hair, to touch his face to her soft skin, his lips to her neck —

He pushed the thought away. What was wrong with him?

Carefully, he put his hands over hers, his long fingers wrapping around her hands. They were so delicate, so warm. He felt her move inside his hands and a strange kind of heady euphoria filled him. His head was swimming. The room was so quiet that everything else seemed to have faded away till all there was was this.

"Closer!" the teacher called, sounding vaguely annoyed. "Come on, you're supposed to be together, don't be shy!"

Klaus stepped closer. He felt the delicate, bird-like curves of her shoulder blades against his chest, and then he had come so close that his entire body had come into contact with hers, wrapping itself around her. His grip on her hands firmed.

Iris was small and delicate. The graceful arc of her back pressed itself up against him, leading down to willowy hips and a round little bottom. He could feel her body heat, breathe her scent in deep against him, and as he was so much taller and his arms curled around her so easily — encompassing shoulders and arms and delicate little hands — a strange feeling of protectiveness filled him. This was strange, because Klaus had never seen himself as the protective type — the type to have dark, quiet, full, hoarse, protective feelings fill him. He looked up and down the front of her body, saw her flat stomach breathe in and out, saw the peak of perky, olive-toned breasts moving in and out against the collar of her shirt. She was beautiful. She smelled wonderful.

"Closer!"

"Closer," Klaus whispered, his voice hoarse and dark, and all he could see was her and he couldn't have stepped away if he'd wanted to. He pressed in so close that he could feel his groin up against her bottom, so close his hips were aligned with hers, so close that he engulfed her and as he pressed his arms in against hers he saw her breasts swell and push against each other.

"Exactly, like that!"

"Like that," Klaus whispered blindly, and there was a tinge of desperation to his words. He couldn't think. He couldn't speak.

Iris looked up over her shoulder at him, almond-shaped green eyes so close to his that he could see flecks of gold inside them. She looked vaguely concerned. "Are you okay?" she whispered, and he could feel her body move with the words, feel her breath against his face, and he had the wildest urge to just close the distance and kiss her and taste her —

Klaus took a deep breath and tried to pull himself together. "Yeah," he whispered back, swallowing. "Yeah, I'm okay."

And so the class began. Klaus felt Iris's fine muscle control moving along his arms and underneath his hands at the pottery wheel. He had to press his palms against her hands, but not too hard, and as their hands and fingers found a kind of tangled rhythm, back and forth, they memorized the feeling of their hands against each other's. Klaus stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her, so delicate in his grasp, his hands over hers as they tried to shape and mold the clay together.

They made an awful mess, but their laughter was slightly breathless.

-

Klaus got back to his private dorm room that night and he was a wreck. Everywhere he went, wandering blindly in a daze, it was like Iris was still touching him. Like she had touched him in places that would never go away, that were irrevocable and never-ending. He stumbled into the bathroom to take a shower, still feeling the brush of her hair against his cheek, against his nose.

He registered dimly that his movements were shaky, that his knees were weak, that he was clumsy and stumbling all over the place as he took off his clothes to take a shower. He was flushed and fevered when he stared at himself in the mirror, hungry but nauseous, tired but sleeping would have been impossible.

His hair was wild and so were his eyes, lit up. Klaus felt _alive._ His chest was full of everything. He couldn't seem to breathe right.

It was like heroin must feel, he registered. Just like heroin.

He turned on the water and got into the shower, but every movement he made felt false, forced. Images, flashbacks, kept coursing through his mind, through his veins. Deadly. Dying. No coming back from this.

Her hips pushing back once accidentally to press against his groin, and he had felt her ass, and it was so — and that was such a dirty thought. Klaus felt dirty. Klaus felt disgusting. Klaus felt thirteen and turned on and wired.

His long hands wrapping around her delicate ones. The warmth of her body. The softness of her hair, the slight waves to it as it reached almost to her waist. The gold specks in her almond-shaped liquid green eyes, looking at him, wide, puzzled. "Klaus?"

And then all of a sudden Klaus slumped against the shower wall and he came, in one great movement, one great confused rush, a single moan of ecstasy.

He leaned against the wall, tilted his face up to the running water, and he surrendered.

Klaus surrendered.

What he was surrendering to, he wasn't sure. But the most peculiar thing happened the minute he did. Surrendering felt so _easy,_ and all of a sudden — he was calm again. His mind began going back into working order. So did his body. He took deep breaths.

Perfect working order, but with a new paradigm, new cogs in the robotic machine that was Klaus's body. Perfect working order plus Iris. Perfect working order plus Iris, who turned him on and made him feel things he'd never thought he could feel.

-

Five's first instinct was to resist — to avoid, to refuse to come close again. He didn't talk to Ruby at all except to plan their next activity — a pottery class — and he was even more silent, taciturn, and distant than usual on the way there. Ruby kept giving him curious looks, but she was surprisingly understanding and not easily alarmed, and she knew when to let him be.

The warmth that filled him when he realized this didn't help matters at all.

"All right!" the pottery teacher called. Each couple was standing, in the wide stone, sunlit, window-covered room, in front of one pottery wheel. "You will be working with the wheel today to make a bowl! You might have seen the basics of how this works on TV. Usually, when one person is working a wheel, the wheel starts spinning with the clay on it. The person reaches their hands out, puts their hands around the clay, and begins trying to shape it properly.

"So, since this is a couples activity, what I'd like you to do is pick one person to stand directly in front of the pottery wheel and one person to stand behind them."

Ruby stood up directly in front of the wheel. Five stood behind her.

"Okay, now the person in front reaches out their hands, without turning the wheel on." Ruby did so. "And the person behind comes right up close behind them, so that their bodies are connecting. They wrap their arms around the person in front, and then they put their palms on top of the front person's hand — so it will be like you're shaping at the wheel together."

It was a peculiar feeling, when the realization dawned that you were avoiding something it was impossible to avoid. An eternity seemed to pass in a few seconds, as Five hesitated — actually hesitated in fear — at the idea of coming close to Ruby again. Then he stepped up — closer and closer — and he pressed his whole body up against her luscious curves. He buried his face in her curls, smelled her spicy perfume and her cherry lipstick, tangled his fingers in hers. He had to suppress the low moan that filled him and he knew he was incredibly hard, and that should embarrass him, and right now Five was physiologically incapable of feeling embarrassed.

There was a grin in Ruby's voice. "A little happy, are we?" she said in a low teasing tone, and when she turned to look at him, red lips quirked upward and hooded eyes danced. Five felt again the peculiar sensation that he was being laughed at, and again he felt incredibly turned on.

"Sorry," he murmured blindly. "Sorry…" It came out as a whisper, and he wanted to say it, wanted to say it over and over, because the sexual feeling that filled him was almost blinding, overwhelmingly powerful. Five hadn't known it was possible to feel this much at once.

"It's all right." Her eyes were very kind. So warm. So kind.

Five curled himself close to her and breathed in deep, and he surrendered. He knew, finally, that there was no use avoiding this at all.

He knew other things, too, in that moment. That he would feel this for a long time. That it would not go away. That it would linger, endlessly.

People thought thirteen-year-olds didn't know anything, but in that space Five knew it all.

-

It rained often in Seattle, but usually softly — gentle, sprinkling rainfall that fell upon one's head, one's umbrella. This was not that kind of rain. It was a drenching downpour, sheets of water falling onto Seattle's head all day long. Klaus and Iris stood at the top of a hill edging a park. Below them, down the hill, the water had created long rivers, long sheets of mud.

"Do you need me to —?" Klaus had reached out, and instinctively, he knew he wanted to hold her close, to protect her, comfort her, hold her. So delicate. So precious. He wanted touch. He _needed_ touch.

But Iris, surprisingly, did quite fine on her own. She turned to him and grinned, hauling out a big trash can lid. "Ruby told me about this!" she shouted over the rain and the thunder, and before Klaus could do more than make a sound of surprise, she had sat herself down in the upside down trash can lid and slid down the muddy hill. She fell out and lay laughing herself to hysterics at the bottom.

"Are you okay?!" Klaus called out to her in alarm.

"Yeah!" She sat up and grinned at him, her face lit up with fun. "Come on!"

Klaus realized, in that moment, that he had been getting something wrong. Iris would not break. She was not a precious porcelain doll, cradled in his hands. She was a real person, live flesh and blood, and she was grinning and soaking wet and covered with mud and her nipples displayed through her shirt at the bottom of the hill beneath him.

She was human. Not semi-divine. _Human._

Klaus had never wanted anything or anyone so badly.

He laughed and tried to run down the hill, ending up sliding against his legs and collapsing against her at the bottom of the hill. They both laughed, and then Klaus felt wild, grabbing her and tickling her as shrieked with laughter, smiling blindly as she squirmed and his hands were all over her body and God _need. Need._ He needed touch. Couldn't stop touching. Couldn't stop touching.

Klaus knew things, in that moment. That he would feel this for a long time. That it would not go away. That it would linger, endlessly.

People thought thirteen-year-olds didn't know anything, but in that space Klaus knew it all.

-

_You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk. And you should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong. And I've got a boyfriend, he's older than us. He's in the club doing I don't know what. You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much. Whiskey on ice, sunset in Vine, you've ruined my life by not being mine._

_— Gorgeous, Taylor Swift_

_And it's all fun and games till somebody falls in love. But you already bought a ticket and there's no turning back now._

_— Carousel, Melanie Martinez_

_And when you are young, they assume you know nothing. But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss. I knew you'd haunt all of my what if's. The smell of smoke would hang around this long. 'Cause I knew everything when I was young._

_— cardigan, Taylor Swift_


	11. The New Normal

Chapter Eleven: The New Normal

"Our next assignment," said Ruby, "was to look up local haunted places in Seattle, and visit one. We chose a pub called Kells Irish Restaurant. It's in the basement of the Butterworth Building — which is, supposedly, right here."

She and Five both looked up. They were standing in front of a tall but unassuming brick building with vague industrial undertones. "Shall we?" said Ruby brightly, beaming and sounding excited.

Five smiled slightly and everything inside him softened. "After you," he said unusually politely, and Ruby entered the Butterworth Building. Five followed after her.

The Butterworth Building was an unassuming concrete industrial complex. It didn't look like it should house anything incredible. Down the stairs into the basement, Five and Ruby found themselves walking into an old-fashioned, wood-paneled Irish pub. Ruby walked up to the bar and tapped on the wood, still grinning.

The barman stared. "Call me crazy," he said sarcastically as he looked between Ruby and Five, "but I don't think the two of you are allowed to be here."

"Relax, we're not here for the drinks, good sir," said Ruby proudly. "We're here for the _ghosts."_ Her eyes flashed.

Five looked with dry amusement between the determined Ruby and the bemused barman.

"All right," the barman finally said slowly. "Well, this building use to be a mortuary, and you're standing in what used to be the embalming room. The two main attractions are usually a little girl with red hair and a man named 'Charlie,' who is said to appear sometimes in that Guinness mirror over there." He pointed and they looked. "But we get all kinds of ghost sightings. Feel free to look around, but if I see either of you approach the bar again, you're getting thrown out." And he walked away.

Five and Ruby spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the ins and outs of the pub and then of the Butterworth Building itself. Ruby stepped up several times in front of the Guinness mirror, as if trying to surprise it and beaming eagerly.

To her disappointment, neither of them saw anything. But there were worse things, Five thought privately, than exploring a supposedly haunted building all afternoon with Ruby. He kept finding little excuses to touch her fingers, her skin, her hair, secretly giddy with all these new feelings he was filled with. They were strangely intoxicating.

-

"Our next assignment," said Iris, "was to look up local haunted places in Seattle, and visit one. We chose the Orient Express and Lounge, a Chinese restaurant that used to be an Andy's Diner. It's located in a series of real, retired train cars in Sodo.

"You know, I expected you to be more nervous doing this," she mused.

Klaus smirked wryly. "Well, first," he said, "in my experience, most supposed ghost sightings are completely made up. But, second… I've actually been practicing those techniques to cope with ghosts that you showed me on the first day we met. And they have actually been helping."

Iris smiled. "I'm glad," she said fondly, and all those new heart-thudding, butterfly-stomach, protective feelings filled Klaus again. He had been riding on their high for days now, and was kind of giddy with it.

The crowd of abandoned train cars might have been creepier by moonlight, but in the daylight they were actually kind of interesting. They explored curiously as they walked through the long lot full of abandoned train cars, finally making their way to a particularly luridly colored one that advertised itself as the Orient Express and Lounge. It seemed to be the only train car in the whole lot that was actually inhabited by people.

Iris and Klaus climbed the steps and walked in. "For two?" said the waitress.

"Please," said Iris with a slight smile.

As they were seated, Klaus said, "In a way, we're here for the ghosts as much as for the food."

The waitress laughed. "Yeah, we actually get that a lot. Considering we live in a lot full of abandoned train cars — including one that belonged to Franklin Delano Roosevelt — we're not actually sure where most of the ghost sightings come from. That's one of the things people find enticing. Literally _anything_ could have happened here.

"But the ghosts we do get are usually particularly violent ones. Once someone who didn't believe in ghosts tried to take over this train car for a restaurant business, and random lights started exploding in strange moments over his head." She smirked. "We've all been very firm ghost believers ever since. I'll leave you to look over the menu." She walked away.

The place was humble, but equally colorful on the inside, with dim lighting and beaded red curtains straight out of the 1960's. "You know," Iris whispered, looking around, "I can kind of see why this place feels haunted to people?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing," Klaus admitted.

"Do you see anything?" She looked around at him.

"No," Klaus admitted. "But sometimes ghosts come and go. Just because I don't see one, that doesn't mean it's never here."

They spent all of their lunch eating Chinese takeaway and whispering in a corner table about ghosts. It was Klaus's first real ghost experience since he had met Iris, and it was filled with warmth and fun and life.


	12. Without Thinking

Chapter Twelve: Without Thinking

"I've always wanted to be a derby girl," said Ruby enthusiastically, as she and Five strapped on roller-skates at the edge of the skating rink. "No offense, Five, but for this one activity, your enjoyment is secondary and technically unnecessary."

"Thank you for that," said Five dryly. "I would like two things noted: First, that I don't enjoy humiliating myself, and second, that I'm about to."

"Suck it up and learn to laugh at yourself." Ruby stood and grinned at him.

"Great advice," Five sniped, irritated.

Ruby had already pushed herself out onto the roller-skating rink. Five sighed, shook his head, and followed.

Ruby was, to her credit, very determined that day. No matter how many times she fell, she always got right back up. By the end of the day, she was zooming around the rink, having the time of her life.

Unfortunately, for this activity she also left Five behind, who spent most of the afternoon falling repeatedly in front of everyone alone and falling into an increasingly sour mood.

On the bus ride home, there was a passive aggressive silence between them. Five was silently seething.

"Are you okay?" said Ruby at last.

"I am positively ecstatic," said Five acidically, "that you had a great time."

Ruby looked over at him. "… I'm sorry," she said out of the blue. And that took some amount of swallowing of her pride, Five knew.

So Five did the equally difficult thing, and forgave her. "It's all right," he admitted begrudgingly, and they both softened.

-

"Me on a roller-skating rink," said Klaus as they strapped on roller-skates at the edge of the skating rink. "I am impressed by how bad an idea this is."

"Oh, come on, it can't be that hard," said Iris positively as she stood. "Other people are doing it. Come on." She held out her hand. They skated out onto the rink together — and immediately fell on their asses, laughing.

"I told you!" Klaus laughed.

"Well, we just have to get back up," said Iris, still determined to be tough and positive as she pulled herself back onto her roller-skates.

Klaus, ironically, ended up getting it faster than Iris out of sheer recklessness and total disregard for his own safety. Afterward, he had the time of his life being noisy, obnoxious, and rambunctious, zooming around the rink, shouting crazy things, waving his arms wildly, and running repeatedly into Iris on purpose.

The third time he made her fall over, she stood, face red, angry tears unshed in her eyes, and she left the rink. Uh-oh, Klaus finally thought nervously. He skated after her and left the rink himself.

The time on the bus ride back was spent in a tense silence. Klaus hated it. Finally, he nudged her shoulder with his head.

"… I'm sorry," he muttered, and he swallowed his pride to say it.

So Iris did the equally difficult thing, and she forgave him. "It's all right," she admitted begrudgingly, and they both softened.

-

For their camping and hiking trip assignment, Iris and Klaus took the bus out of the city and hiked up through the deep, dark green forestry surrounding the urban edges of Seattle. Iris had been hiking before — "My school went a couple of times, and my aunt and uncle let me and my sister go," — so she showed Klaus how to find an appropriate clearing next to a river and set up tents and sleeping bags. There would be only the one tent between them.

They spent the afternoon hiking the surrounding trails. Klaus kept up an enthusiastic round of chatter, and Iris spent all afternoon eagerly looking for a fairy circle. When she finally found one, she immediately jumped inside with such enthusiasm, it was heartbreaking to watch her face fall as she slowly realized nothing was happening.

Klaus made that go away in the only way he knew how — by shouting something ridiculous, leaping at her, and tackling her to the ground. "You destroyed the fairy circle!" she protested, but she was laughing and Klaus grinned.

Back at the camp, Iris taught Klaus how to make a campfire and make s'mores the only right way — by lighting them on fire and then blowing them out. "Cool, I love pyromania," said Klaus brightly as he immediately stuck his s'more in the campfire.

They sat around late into the night, by the shadows of the flickering firelight, and talked about ghost stories. Klaus had plenty. He started telling Iris stories about the actual ghosts he had seen throughout his lifetime, the sad ones and the scary ones alike, and Iris was fascinated.

At the end of the night, they zipped their tent closed and got in their sleeping bags. About half an hour later, Iris realized she had a problem.

She was freezing, the temperature had dropped, and she was so cold she wasn't getting any sleep. She lay there, shivering, wondering what to do.

"Are you okay?" said Klaus out of nowhere. Iris turned around to look at him.

"Cold," she said, attempting not to shiver so badly.

Klaus considered this. Then, almost tentative — "You could come over here and sleep with me if you wanted."

"You…" Iris was grateful the darkness hid her blush. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Nah, come on over," said Klaus. So Iris stood, crossed the tent, and crawled into Klaus's sleeping bag with him.

She was immediately filled with his scent, the pounding of his heart — strangely rapid — the feeling of his long, rangy, beautiful body flushed up against hers. Klaus took a risk, wound his arms around her delicate form, buried his fingers in her soft blonde hair, tangled their legs together. His body was practically humming with happiness. He could feel each willowy hip, and each perky breast against his body, the flat of her stomach and her face curled into his chest, her sweet scent and her soft hair —

Iris realized Klaus was turned on, but that wasn't what made her gasp. She realized _she_ was aroused, too. She looked up at him, green eyes big through the dark, breaths coming in and out in soft gasps from her delicate pink mouth, and her face was flushed and her chest was heaving, and then Klaus had kissed her.

He did it totally unconsciously, without realizing at first that he was doing it. But his eyes closed and he held her desperately, the kiss soft and heated. There was a very good chance she was about to push him away, maybe never speak to him again, and he just wanted… he just wanted this…

But then Iris kissed him back — tentative, unsure. She reached around his head and wound her fingers into his wild brown hair, cuddled flush up against him and made soft sounds, and then they were cuddling and holding each other and kissing in that soft, heated way that left Klaus's hands actually shaking, and then both Klaus and Iris stopped thinking about anything for a very long time.

-

"If we're going to do Truth or Dare," said Ruby that night on the floor of her dorm room, she and Five cross-legged across from each other, "I say we start out by each doing at least one — we each trade a Truth, and we each trade a Dare."

"Does the other person get to decide?" Five confirmed.

"Oh, yeah," said Ruby with a grin. "I'm great at this game."

"Well, unfortunately for you, so am I," said Five with a smirk. "And I'm pretty eager to get started. You first."

"One Truth… What would you do if you were the opposite sex for a month?" said Ruby.

Five sat there and thought about this. He was trying not to smile and it wasn't really working, but he was getting used to that around Ruby.

"Well, I'm impressed that your first reaction wasn't, 'touch myself everywhere,'" said Ruby enthusiastically, "because you are thirteen. Well done, sir."

"Hold off on that, that might still be my answer, and mostly out of desperation," Five admitted. "I'm trying to think… what _would_ I do as a girl? I know what I would do." He sat back. "I would challenge an entire gang of armed criminals to a fight — as a preteen girl. The shock factor when I kicked all their asses would be absolutely priceless."

Ruby laughed despite herself. "You're a weird kid, but I like you," she said, and Five laughed a little louder than he'd intended to. "Okay. You go."

"Tell me about the last time someone unexpectedly walked in on you while you were naked," said Five.

"Oh, well Iris is very careful never to do that, so I actually have a great, horrible, embarrassing story for this," said Ruby immediately. "Once, I was getting into my pajamas, and my uncle walked into the room. This was maybe half a year ago. He looks me up and down, leaves the room, and shouts to my aunt down the stairs, 'Teach the girls how to use a damn safety razor, they're not five anymore!'"

 _"Jesus,"_ said Five, as Ruby grinned in pride.

"Yup. Now, my dare," said Ruby. "You said you weren't looking forward to the performative side of being in art school, right?"

"Oh, God," said Five.

"The perils of getting to know me. I'm even being nice and saying you only have to do it in front of me," said Ruby with a grin. "I've always wanted to force a guy to do this. I want you to do your best impression of what giving birth to a baby would be like."

 _"Childbirth?"_ said Five in disbelief.

"Yup. For a full 60 seconds, and I'll be timing," said Ruby, holding up the timer on her phone. "I want to hear you _scream."_ She leaned forward and her eyes flashed in fun and danger. Five was a little aroused, and, yeah, a little uncomfortable with the fact that he was aroused.

The next sixty seconds were… interesting. Ruby _gave him tips,_ and mostly they consisted of, "Louder!" or "More pain!" or "Spread your legs wider!"

Five was pretty sure if this actually became a thing, he was signing himself up to be humiliated on a pretty regular basis. He wondered vaguely why the idea of that didn't bother him more.

The minute he was done, Five sat upright and said vindictively, face still red, "Imagine something in your room. Now spell it with your nose and keep spelling it with your nose until I guess what you're trying to spell."

Ruby pouted. "How do I know you won't just leave me sitting there spelling things with my nose forever?"

"Not my problem," said Five freely. He smirked. "Do it."

Ruby sighed, and thought. "Okay," she said at last, and — to her credit, gamely — she started ducking her head around in all sorts of ridiculous directions, trying to spell things with her nose. Five sat and watched. It was funny, satisfying, and it was also — dare he think it — fucking adorable. An unexpected bonus.

Ruby was just so expressive that Five actually let her sit there for quite a while, but not for the reasons she was thinking. A strange sort of smile kept trying to fight its way over his face.

"What?!" she finally said, with her wide-eyed, owlish stare. "I was trying to spell eraser! I thought the capital E would be a dead giveaway —!"

And Five did one of the stupidest things he had ever done in his life. He leaned forward, and he kissed her.

It took him approximately three seconds to realize what he had done. He slowly pulled away in the dead quiet that followed. Ruby was staring at him with this strange, intense look on her face — and then she threw herself forward, and Five made a noise of surprise as she tackled him and kissed him back, hard, wrapping her legs around his waist, sitting curled up in his lap, and putting her hands on either side of his face.

Five leaned back and let himself fall, back to the floor. Ruby sat above him, face flushed, lips red, curves of her body lush and full, mouth parted, black curls hanging around her face — but she was not grinning this time. She leaned over, and she kissed him, hot and tender. Five let his hands slowly wander, and he bit gently down on her red, juicy, cherry-flavored bottom lip. Ruby made the most _fascinating_ noise, and that was the last conscious thought either of them had for a very long time.

-

_It was Labor Day weekend. I was seventeen. I bought a Coke and some gasoline, and I drove out to the county fair. When I saw her for the first time, she was standing there in the ticket line, and it all started right then and there. A sailor sky made a perfect sunset, and that's a day I'll never forget. I had a barbecue stain on my white T-shirt, she was killing me in that mini skirt, skipping rocks on the river by the railroad tracks. She had a sun tan line and red lipstick. I worked so hard for that first kiss. And a heart don't forget something like that._

_— Something Like That, Tim McGraw_


End file.
